Digging Deeper: It Was Only a Dream

“Lee… Hey, Lee.”

I woke up. It was roughly three in the morning. Delirious, I looked at Deanna and asked what was wrong. She had woken me from a dead sleep, and at the time she was several months pregnant, prompting a little concern on my end.

“I just had a dream… that you were cheating on me,” she said.

Puzzled and still very delirious, I replied, “Uh… okay… are you alright?”

She said how real the dream had felt and that she needed me to tell her I wasn’t, in fact, cheating on her. I was baffled but simply said, “Deanna, I haven’t and won’t ever cheat on you.” She said, “Okay,” and I hugged her, and we went back to sleep.

When morning came, we both shared a laugh about the absurdity of that overnight conversation, feeling it had been brought about by exhaustion and perhaps even made worse by hormonal fluctuations. Yet, that was more than ten years ago, and she still remembers how the dream made her feel.

The severity of infidelity is such that even a dream can prompt a series of painful thoughts and unbearable emotions. In our series on the Commandments, we visited God’s Word on the subject, and He is anything but ambiguous.

After commanding the Israelites not to commit adultery, God also established the penalty for violating that command in Leviticus 20 and Deuteronomy 22—execution. In Deuteronomy, adultery is included in a series of capital offenses accompanied by the phrase, “So you shall purge the evil from Israel.”

Jesus teaches that adultery doesn’t have to involve physical contact. It can begin as simply as looking at another person with “lustful intent” (Matthew 5:28). He also identifies sexual immorality as the only biblical ground for divorce (Matthew 19:9).

The point is simple: adultery is incredibly serious. Approximately 15–20 percent of marriages in the U.S. experience infidelity at some point, and unless serious and immediate action is taken, it often destroys the relationship. I had two friends experience this during high school when their parents were unfaithful, and even as a teenager, the effects were impossible to miss.

As Jesus warns, adultery isn’t limited to physical touch; it can begin with a single lingering glance. That’s why it’s up to us to strengthen our marriages, guard our hearts, and build relationships on a strong foundation of faith. So, how do we do that?

Plenty of statistical research exists on this, but successful long-term marriages typically share three common characteristics: deep friendship, mutual respect, and active commitment. I read that as saying one thing: it takes hard work!

Nothing worth pursuing in life comes without challenges along the way, but the reward far outweighs the cost. Marriages that last more than ten years—often considered long-term—are associated with greater life satisfaction, less conflict, and a stronger sense of self-worth, according to one study. The physical, emotional, and psychological benefits are undeniable.

Let’s work today to keep those painful thoughts and feelings confined to weary dreams and far away from reality.