Category: Digging Deeper

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.

Ephesians 4:2 (NLT)

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LOVE AND LONG-SUFFERING GO HAND-IN-HAND

 

There are two different types of patience spoken about in Scripture. One is the patience needed in a season of waiting. The other is equally challenging: when we have had our fill of someone’s attitude or behavior; or, in our righteous indignation our fuse has neared its end. This is known as long-suffering.

Webster’s Dictionary defines long-suffering this way: “patiently enduring lasting offense or hardship.”

In the Bible, long-suffering is comprised of two Greek words meaning “long” and “temper.” The Lord is often described as being long-suffering in Scripture, particularly in the Old Testament. Time and again, we see His people (Israel) falling into a vicious cycle: walking with God > pulling away from God > God’s hand of blessing being removed > hardship > repentance > God’s mercy and compassion (REPEAT).

The Lord is a self-proclaimed jealous God! He has our very best in mind, and when we stray, it hurts Him deeply. He will discipline us and allow painful consequences to re-direct our paths, but in his loving-kindness, He will eventually comfort us and restore us if we turn to Him.

If you have ever weathered a storm of life in which a loved one has made a series of poor choices, you know exactly how brutal long-suffering can be. We want so desperately for our family member or friend to get on a healthy path – one with direction, joy, and meaning – one with God at the helm! In the meantime, however, we suffer, not knowing when the pain will end, and if this person will ever make a lasting change.

So, what’s our response in the interim? To love them. As the Apostle Paul wrote in the scripture above, we are to “be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.” But we’ve got to take it a step further and ask this question: Why is love the proper response?

In a different letter – one he wrote to the Church at Colossae – Paul explains why we must choose love over anger:

Make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. Colossians 3:13-14 (NLT)

It can be tough to reconcile this, but you’re not excusing someone’s actions by loving them! But you are letting them know that love is more powerful than whatever has led them to this difficulty. And, as we read in yet another of Paul’s letters: love never fails.

 

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C.A. Phillips serves as Communications Pastor and Director of Men’s Groups at NorthStar Church. He is a graduate of the Henry W. Grady School of Journalism at the University of Georgia, and he loves the Dawgs and the Atlanta Braves. He has two (grown) boys and lives in Kennesaw with his wife, Amy, and their German Shepherd, Abby.

And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

Ephesians 4:26-27 (NLT)

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PATIENCE OPENS UP ‘A WHOLE NEW WORLD’ OF OPPORTUNITY

 

Perhaps my all-time favorite animated movie is Disney’s Aladdin. I love everything about it: the soundtrack, the story, the characters – particularly Genie, portrayed by the vocal talent of the late comedian Robin Williams. But a great story isn’t the same without villains. In Aladdin, the villains are Jafar, the grand vizier of Agrabah – the sultan’s most trusted advisor – and his cantankerous parrot, Iago.

Jafar is a cold, calculating schemer with his eyes on supplanting Jasmine’s father as Sultan. While Jafar is determined to make his desire for power a reality, he is willing to play the long game. Iago is equally motivated by riches and power but has reached his boiling point. Getting his beak incessantly stuffed with crackers has made him rather salty, and he’s ready for a change in leadership. As Jafar and Iago attempt to gain access to the hidden treasure in the Cave of Wonders, they ultimately come away empty-handed.

Iago is incensed, and goes into a tirade:

“We’re never gonna get a hold of that stupid lamp! Just forget it – look at this, I’m so ticked off I’m molting!”

And then comes Jafar’s famous response: “Patience, Iago. Patience!”

I can’t tell you how many times my wife has uttered these words to me and our sons through the years when we’ve gotten a bit impatient. But, as we see in Iago’s actions, as well as later in the movie, when Jafar is insulted by Aladdin, anger and impatience are closely aligned – and it’s a dangerous pairing.

We’ve all likely heard this marriage advice from friends and family: Don’t go to bed angry. It’s wise counsel for several reasons, but Ephesians 4:26 without 4:27 is incomplete. Why shouldn’t we go to bed angry? Because “anger gives a foothold to the devil.” Another translation says, “Give no opportunity to the devil.”

In our anger, we are unable to think clearly, and the enemy pounces! He only has a few weapons in his arsenal, and chief among them are accusing and lying. In fact, here’s what Jesus had to say about Satan:

“He (Satan) has always been a murderer and a liar. There is nothing truthful about him. He speaks on his own, and everything he says is a lie. Not only is he a liar himself, but he is also the father of all lies.”

 When you’re drawn toward anger (and it very well could be justified), you need to heed these warnings! Instead of allowing the enemy to gain an advantage over you, lean into Christ and remember his love for you, and recall all the times He has forgiven you! You’ll likely drift off to sleep a little quicker when you do!

 

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C.A. Phillips serves as Communications Pastor and Director of Men’s Groups at NorthStar Church. He is a graduate of the Henry W. Grady School of Journalism at the University of Georgia, and he loves the Dawgs and the Atlanta Braves. He has two (grown) boys and lives in Kennesaw with his wife, Amy, and their German Shepherd, Abby.

12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.

Colossians 3:12-14 (NLT)

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CREATING MARGIN ALLOWS ME TO CONSIDER OTHERS

 

We’ve all got friends and enemies (or at least people you are less fond of). But there’s a third category: frenemies. A frenemy is someone or something that is of great benefit to you but can also serve as the bane of your existence simultaneously.

My frenemy? WAZE.

[Quick side note – WAZE’s humble roots were first formed in 2006 by an Israeli programmer whose goal was to create a real time interactive map of Israel using community users to crowd-source the digital data that was compiled in the Hebrew language. The initial project was known as FreeMap Israel and was re-named WAZE in 2008 when the founder wanted to commercialize it.]

OK, back to my frenemy.

You should first understand that I abhor traffic. In fact, abhor might not be a strong enough verb to express my disdain for overly congested roadways. When WAZE was first introduced to me, I felt like it was God’s gift to humanity! Now I could circumvent the backups and arrive at each destination in a timelier manner – and with far less frustration! I’ve become so accustomed to popping my destination in on the app that it’s rare that I don’t use it. This dependence on WAZE, and my obsession with timeliness, has led to other issues, however.

After entering my destination, I select my preferred route, and wait for the calculation: my estimated time of arrival (ETA). Now, here’s the problem: I look at this forecast as the LATEST time I should arrive – not an ESTIMATE. I begin to race against the clock! If WAZE spits out that I’m supposed to be at the Buc-ees in Leeds, Alabama at 1:33pm, by golly I will be there at least by that time! But, when I’m stuck at a red light, or if there is congestion on I-20, the clock ticks up a minute or two. Channeling my best Buford T. Justice, I say to myself, “No sir! – “WAZE said 1:33, so 1:36 will not work for me!”

You see where this is going. Instead of appreciating how WAZE helps me to avoid the worst traffic, I now unnecessarily inflate my blood pressure because of my desire to avoid traffic altogether. Honestly, I’m now using WAZE less often because my mind stays calmer without it. When Amy and I are driving somewhere together, and there’s a chance we will get caught in heavier traffic, she will drive (Actually, she insists on driving).

This all stems from a lack of patience. Why is recognizing this so important? Because when I become impatient behind the wheel, my mind becomes so focused on myself that I lose sight of others – some are passengers in the car with me, and some are the drivers in front of, behind, and beside me. They have places to be and loved ones to see as well.

I can’t show others the love and kindness of Christ when I am frantic, hurried, and stressed. Instead, I can give myself more margin in my schedule to account for delays and focus on arriving SAFELY instead of hurriedly.

Otherwise, it’s back to printing MapQuest directions.

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C.A. Phillips serves as Communications Pastor and Director of Men’s Groups at NorthStar Church. He is a graduate of the Henry W. Grady School of Journalism at the University of Georgia, and he loves the Dawgs and the Atlanta Braves. He has two (grown) boys and lives in Kennesaw with his wife, Amy, and their German Shepherd, Abby.

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT)

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HE IS NEAR

 

Thinking about gentleness this week reminded me of a book I received in college as part of a scholarship award. It’s called, The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life by Hannah Whitall Smith. In it she says, “The nearer we are to Christ, the more shall we be enabled to exemplify the meekness and gentleness of our Lord, and the more tender will be our consideration for those who are our natural guardians and counselors.”

Christ’s proximity to us never changes. He is always near. How close we will stay to Christ is up to us. The question is what does that look like, and how do we do it?

This nearness of God is found in accepting Him as our Savior. We do that by believing that Christ died for us, covering our sins, once and for all. Then we grow in our faith by cultivating the relationship with God daily. There is no quick fix or easy button. It will require the investment of time and attention. The most beneficial ways to staying near to Christ are by reading His Word, studying, and memorizing scriptures, being in church and surrounding ourselves with other Christians.

When my children were young, I struggled with post-partum depression and hormonal imbalances for a few years. Some days were worse than others, but I would get them ready for bed and say, “Mommy and Daddy love you, but follow hard after the one who loves you the most – Jesus!” Then I would add, “Show me how much Jesus loves you.” They would stretch their little arms out as far as they could. It was such a sweet way to teach them that Jesus was the most important person in their lives. I may not have been very tender or gentle that day, but they knew Jesus was near and that He loved them. He was enough.

Tim Keller, a more contemporary author to Smith, said it like this. “The product of a true, growing, gospel-centered nature is often gentleness.”  

Gentleness is not natural for any of us. Indeed, it is the reflection of God, the one who died for us and now lives in us. If clothing yourself in gentleness seems difficult, please remember to lean into the Holy Spirit. My prayer is that you know God is near and that He not only wants to be gentle with you but through you as well. Press into Him and His Word and He will do it.

 

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Bridget Turner serves as the Director of Women’s Groups at NorthStar Church. She and her husband, Steve, live in Powder Springs and have two young adult children, Hannah and Joshua. She enjoys watching football, traveling and reading.

 

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT)

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A LOVE LIKE NO OTHER

 

Several years ago, I had to drive around interstate 285 to get to and from work. At one point there was a billboard that I passed daily. It was solid black and had white letters that said, “Don’t make me come down there. – God.” Unfortunately, it is not far off from how I think about God sometimes – that He is just waiting to pounce when I mess up.

In contrast, Dane Ortlund in Gentle and Lowly describes Jesus as “Meek. Humble. Gentle. Jesus is not trigger-happy. Not harsh, reactionary, easily exasperated. He is the most understanding person in the universe. The posture most natural to him is not a pointed finger but open arms.” Jesus’ love for us far surpasses anything we will understand this side of heaven. Genuine love has a tenderness, gentleness to it that is like no other.

We see a glimpse of what this looks like when Jesus appears to the disciples after His resurrection. In John 20 we read, “Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord.” Thomas was not with them at this point and when the disciples told him about seeing the Lord, he said, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”

A week later Jesus appears with the disciples again and this time Thomas is present. Jesus says to him specifically, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” This moment with Thomas is so powerful and loving. Jesus knows exactly what Thomas has said and He gently allows him to not only see His scars, but to touch them.

The disciples were Jesus’ closest confidants during His earthly ministry. They had been firsthand witnesses to His teachings and miracles. They should have known who He was, recognized His voice, and yet they doubted it was Him. Jesus did not respond harshly, question them, or point His finger. He fully understood what they needed to believe and gave it to them.

May we all recognize today how incredibly compassionate God is. And just like He was with Thomas, He knows us intimately and gently loves us where we are.

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Bridget Turner serves as the Director of Women’s Groups at NorthStar Church. She and her husband, Steve, live in Powder Springs and have two young adult children, Hannah and Joshua. She enjoys watching football, traveling and reading.

 

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT)

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WORDS MATTER

 

Do you remember this children’s rhyme? “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”  A quick Google search dates its origin back to the 1800’s. That is a long time for something not true to still be so easy to roll off the tongue! Hopefully, we all agree that words can indeed hurt us. Even if we are not personally experiencing it, we see it all around us every day.

Anger, strife, anxiety, apathy, aggression, and even physical attacks are the common themes crossing our news feeds today. You can find verbal wars on social media, often between people who do not even know each other. It is an interesting time to be alive for sure. Gentleness is rarely the way we see people engaging and interacting these days.

Recently, while I was waiting in line to check out at a local store, a baby started to cry loudly. The mom was desperately trying to console the child and get them to quiet down, but nothing was working. Then out of nowhere an older man across the store yells, “Good thing we are not on an airplane!”  There was an audible gasp from those of us close by. It was such a cringeworthy moment that no one moved. My heart ached for this young mom who was already stressed and now embarrassed by the outburst of a stranger. His words, most assuredly, hurt her.

Proverbs 15:1 & 4 (NLT) says,

A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.

One of the sermons points this week was “Will my response benefit or hurt the other person?” Proverbs teaches us that gentle responses deflect anger and are a tree of life. On the other hand, it tells us that harsh words make tempers flare, and a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. We often talk about arguments or difficult discussions this way at NorthStar: you can enter a heated discussion like gasoline and add to the flames, or you can be like water and douse them. It is a choice.

Today, let us remember that words do matter and ask God to help us bring life, confidence, and encouragement to those He allows us to engage with.

 

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Bridget Turner serves as the Director of Women’s Groups at NorthStar Church. She and her husband, Steve, live in Powder Springs and have two young adult children, Hannah and Joshua. She enjoys watching football, traveling and reading.

 

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT)

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DRESSED FOR SUCCESS

 

Have you ever taken a personality test, like the DISC profile, Strengthsfinder or the Enneagram? Relatively speaking, they all come to the same descriptions for my personality – competitive, leader, strategic, assertive, decisive, and fear of being vulnerable are the most frequent results. The word gentle does not show up! Regardless of what these profiles express about me (or you), it is not an excuse to not be gentle. In Colossians 3:12 it says to “…clothe yourselves” with gentleness. The Message version says “…dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you.”  This idea of clothing is about an outward expression no matter our temperaments or natural feelings on a matter. What it does not mean is to be passive or apathetic; we can be firm but gracious. The greatest example we have of this is Jesus.  

In John 8 we find Jesus seated and teaching in the Temple. The scribes and Pharisees bring a woman to the center of the crowd. She was an adulterer, and they ask Jesus what He would say, reminding Him that the law requires she be stoned. They are trying to trap Him and have more evidence that He is not who He says He is. Jesus stoops down and starts writing in the sand with His finger as the scribes and Pharisees keep questioning Him. Then Jesus stands up and says to them, “The one without sin among you should be the first to throw a stone at her.” He stoops back down again and continues writing in the sand. Scripture says one by one the men all leave, oldest to youngest, and just the woman and Jesus remain. Jesus stands up again and says, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”  “No one, Lord,” she answered. “Neither do I condemn you,” said Jesus. “Go, and from now on do not sin anymore.”

Note the posture of Jesus throughout this story. When the scribes and Pharisees address Him regarding the law, He does not respond but stoops down to write in the sand. He stands up, addresses them and then stoops back down, while they decide to leave. When He addresses the woman, he stands up again. Every time Jesus speaks it is with all authority, firm and direct. Then He quietly allows them to respond. It is a gentle, loving way giving them the dignity to acknowledge their sin – the scribes, the Pharisees, and the adulterous woman.

If you find yourself in tough situations today, I pray that you ask God to give you the boldness to be firm and the power to be gentle like Jesus.

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Bridget Turner serves as the Director of Women’s Groups at NorthStar Church. She and her husband, Steve, live in Powder Springs and have two young adult children, Hannah and Joshua. She enjoys watching football, traveling and reading.

 

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT)

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FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT

 

Growing up, my siblings, cousins and I were up early during the summer months helping our grandparents in the garden. On most days, the sun had barely risen, and this girl enjoyed her sleep! My grandfather was the one to wake us up, and I was the most rebellious. He often got sarcasm and anger instead of respect from me. The work was tiring and dirty and, frankly, none of us wanted to spend our summers this way. As you can imagine we had little tolerance for each other and there were lots of arguments and fighting among us. My grandmother would gently remind us that if we did not keep working, we would be in the fields later and the day would just get hotter. Not to mention there would be no fruit and vegetables to eat. Eventually we would all settle down and get to work.

These days were far from gentle, but they taught me great lessons. As an adult I realize that the hard workdays were preparing the soil to produce a harvest. Food would not just appear on the dinner table, if we did not work the fields and plant the seeds.

We can often think of the Fruit of the Spirit, which includes gentleness, in a comparable manner to gardening.  We work, prepare the soil, plant seeds, and then harvest it when it is ripe. Then we store everything up and pull it out when we want or need it. The problem with this thinking is that it all depends on us.

Galatians 5 teaches us that the Holy Spirit is the one who produces the fruit within us. As we live by the Spirit and crucify the sinful desires of our flesh, the Holy Spirit is creating the fruit within us. The possibility to respond with gentleness is always readily available. It is the very character of God residing within us and empowering us to respond as He would. The choice is ours to yield our lives to it and reflect the nature of Christ to the world.

Today I pray that you know gentleness dwells within you and that it would be the first response others experience as they interact with you.

 

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Bridget Turner serves as the Director of Women’s Groups at NorthStar Church. She and her husband, Steve, live in Powder Springs and have two young adult children, Hannah and Joshua. She enjoys watching football, traveling and reading.

 

He (Jesus) humbled himself …and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

Philippians 2:8 (NLT)

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SACRIFICING FOR OTHERS

 

A young woman was arrested for breaking the law. She knew she’d been caught red-handed and she couldn’t deny her guilt. Later, she stood in front of the judge’s bench and admitted what she had done. The man wearing the robe was a kind man, but he was also a just judge, and knew he couldn’t let her off the hook. She had broken the law. So he gave her the penalty prescribed by the law, which meant the girl was required to pay a steep fine – one that she couldn’t afford – or else end up in jail.

But, then the man did an amazing thing. He stood up, took off his judge’s robe, walked around to the front of the bench where the girl was standing, pulled out his wallet, and lovingly looked in her eyes as he handed her all the money she needed to pay her fine.

Why did he do this? Because the woman was his own daughter! Being a good judge, he had to honor the law and impose the penalty. But being a loving father, he was willing to leave His seat as judge and come to her side, to pay the price on her behalf. Jesus humbled Himself by leaving Heaven and coming by our side to pay the penalty for our sins that we couldn’t pay.

Are you willing to humbly give up your position, pride, or possessions to help others?

 

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Steve Roach serves as the Pastor of Spiritual Maturity at NorthStar Church. He and his wife, Amy, live in Acworth and have three girls, Olivia, Sydney, and Hayley and one son, Colton.  He enjoys watching sports and spending time with his family.

He (Jesus) humbled himself in obedience to God…

Philippians 2:8 (NLT)

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OBEYING GOD

 

When Christian Herter was governor of Massachusetts, he ran hard for a second term in office. One day, after a busy morning chasing votes (and no lunch), he arrived at a church barbecue. It was late afternoon, and Herter was famished. As Herter moved down the serving line, he held out his plate to the woman serving chicken. She put a piece on his plate and turned to the next person in line.

“Excuse me,” Governor Herter said, “do you mind if I have another piece of chicken?”

“Sorry,” the woman told him. “I’m supposed to give one piece of chicken to each person.”

“But I’m starved,” the governor said.

“Sorry,” the woman said again. “Only one to a customer.”

Governor Herter was a modest and unassuming man, but he decided that he would throw a little weight around this time. “Do you know who I am?” he said. “I am the governor of this state.”

“Do you know who I am?” the woman said. “I’m the lady in charge of the chicken. Move along, mister.”

Obeying God when we want our way requires humility. In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus searched for another way to accomplish our redemption than Him going on the cross. But, after anguish and prayer, in humility, He obeyed God and went to the cross to secure our salvation.

In what area of your life do you need to humble yourself and obey God today?

 

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Steve Roach serves as the Pastor of Spiritual Maturity at NorthStar Church. He and his wife, Amy, live in Acworth and have three girls, Olivia, Sydney, and Hayley and one son, Colton.  He enjoys watching sports and spending time with his family.