NorthStar Church Blog

Jesus concludes this section in Matthew with a simple but powerful command: deal with conflict quickly.

Most people know from experience that conflict rarely gets better when ignored. Hurt feelings do not usually disappear on their own. Misunderstandings often grow larger with time. That is why Jesus urges immediate action.

The context of His illustration involves two people on their way to court. Jesus’ point is not merely about legal disputes. He is teaching a larger spiritual principle: Address problems before they become bigger problems. Pursue peace before division becomes permanent. Seek reconciliation before bitterness takes deeper root.

Many people assume that time heals all wounds. While time can help bring perspective, time alone rarely heals relational wounds. In fact, unresolved conflict often becomes more painful the longer it is ignored.

The writer of Hebrews warns us:

“Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.” (Hebrews 12:15, NLT)

Notice that bitterness never affects only one person. Like a poisonous root, it spreads. It impacts marriages, friendships, families, churches, and even future generations. What begins as a small offense can eventually become a major division.

The Apostle Paul also gives this instruction:

“And don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.” (Ephesians 4:26–27, NLT)

Paul understood what Jesus was teaching. Anger that lingers creates opportunities for greater damage. The longer we hold onto it, the more influence it gains over our thoughts, attitudes, and actions. Peacemaking is not passive. It requires intentional effort, humility, courage, and grace.

There were two brothers who farmed neighboring properties. For years, they worked side by side and enjoyed a close relationship. Then a disagreement arose over a piece of land. Harsh words were exchanged, and eventually they stopped speaking altogether. Months passed. The distance between them grew. What started as a relatively small disagreement became a deep divide.

One day, a traveling carpenter stopped by and asked for work. One brother pointed toward the creek separating the properties and said, “I never want to see my brother again. Build me a fence.”

The carpenter agreed.

When the work was finished, the farmer was shocked. Instead of building a fence, the carpenter had built a bridge. As the farmer stood there staring at the bridge, he saw his brother walking toward him from the other side. Both men met in the middle, embraced, and restored a relationship that pride had nearly destroyed.

Every day we choose whether to build fences or bridges. Jesus calls His followers to be bridge builders.

The gospel itself is the greatest example of reconciliation. Our sin created a separation between us and God. Yet instead of abandoning us, God sent His Son to build a bridge through the cross. Jesus reconciled us to God at great personal cost.

Because we have received reconciliation, we are called to pursue reconciliation.

Because Jesus reconciled us to God, we can pursue reconciliation with others.

Have you been building a fence or a bridge in a difficult relationship? What step can you take this week to pursue peace?

One of the clearest signs that the gospel has transformed our hearts is our willingness to forgive others. Jesus knew that every one of us would be hurt by people. We will be disappointed, betrayed, overlooked, criticized, and misunderstood. Living in a broken world guarantees broken relationships. The question is not whether we will be hurt. The question is how we will respond when we are.

Many people believe forgiveness is primarily about the person who wronged them. But Scripture teaches that forgiveness begins with remembering what God has done for us.

The Apostle Paul tells us to forgive “just as God, through Christ, has forgiven you.” In other words, our forgiveness of others flows from God’s forgiveness of us.

This is exactly what Jesus taught in the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant in Matthew 18:21–35. A servant was forgiven an enormous debt he could never repay. Yet, after receiving mercy, he refused to show mercy to someone who owed him far less. Jesus’ point was clear: People who have truly experienced God’s grace should become people who extend God’s grace.

Forgiveness does not mean pretending the hurt never happened. It does not mean excusing sin or ignoring wrongdoing. Forgiveness means releasing our right to seek revenge and placing justice in God’s hands.

Romans 12:19 (NLT) says:

“Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God.”

When we refuse to forgive, bitterness often becomes our constant companion. We replay conversations. We relive offenses. We carry wounds long after the event has passed. Meanwhile, the person who hurt us may have moved on entirely. Forgiveness does not change the past, but it can free us from allowing the past to control our future.

Corrie ten Boom survived the horrors of a Nazi concentration camp during World War II. Years after the war, she was speaking at a church when she recognized a former prison guard who had been involved in the suffering of countless prisoners, including members of her own family. After the service, the man approached her and asked for forgiveness, explaining that he had become a Christian. Corrie later wrote that every emotion within her resisted forgiving him. She prayed silently, asking God for help. Then she extended her hand and offered forgiveness.

She later said that, in that moment, she experienced God’s grace in a deeper way than ever before. Forgiveness did not erase the pain of the past, but it demonstrated the power of the gospel in the present.

The gospel reminds us that we owed a debt we could never pay. Yet Jesus willingly paid it for us through His death and resurrection. Because we have received mercy, we can extend mercy. Because we have been forgiven, we can forgive.

Is there someone you are struggling to forgive? How does remembering God’s forgiveness toward you help you forgive others? Are you holding on to a desire for revenge or justice that needs to be surrendered to God? What step could you take today toward extending grace to someone who has hurt you?

These verses contain some of the most surprising words Jesus ever spoke.

Imagine standing at the altar in the temple, preparing to offer a sacrifice to God. For a Jewish person, this was one of the most sacred acts of worship possible. Yet Jesus says that if you remember a broken relationship while worshiping, stop what you’re doing. Leave the gift. Leave the altar. Go pursue reconciliation.

Jesus is teaching us something important about God’s priorities.

God cares deeply about worship, but He also cares deeply about relationships. In fact, Jesus teaches that pursuing reconciliation is so important that it should not be delayed. The Pharisees were experts at religious activity, but many neglected the condition of their relationships. Jesus refuses to separate the two.

Notice the action words in these verses: remember, leave, go, first be reconciled, then come and offer. None of these words suggest delay. None of them suggest waiting until the timing feels better. Jesus calls for immediate action.

Sometimes during a sermon, a Bible study, or even during our personal devotional time, a particular person comes to mind. We remember a conversation that went badly. We remember a relationship that has been strained. We remember someone we hurt or someone we need to forgive. Often, we try to push those thoughts away. Yet Jesus says those moments may be the Holy Spirit prompting us to take a step toward peace.

Romans 12:18 (NLT) says, “Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.” Notice that Paul does not say we are responsible for the other person’s response. We cannot control how others react. We cannot force reconciliation. But we can take responsibility for our part. We can make the call. We can send the text. We can ask for forgiveness. We can extend grace.

There was once a man who carried bitterness toward a former friend for nearly ten years. Every time he saw that person’s name or heard someone mention it, anger rose inside him. One Sunday during church, he felt strongly impressed that he needed to reach out. He resisted at first, convincing himself that too much time had passed. Finally, he made the call.

The conversation lasted less than thirty minutes. Both men apologized. Both admitted they had allowed pride to keep them apart. Years of tension disappeared in a single conversation. Later, he said, “The hardest part wasn’t the phone call. The hardest part was waiting ten years to make it.”

How many broken relationships linger because someone is waiting for the other person to make the first move? Jesus calls His followers to take the initiative.

After all, that is exactly what God did for us. Romans 5:8 tells us that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. God did not wait for us to move toward Him. He moved toward us first. Because Jesus pursued reconciliation with us, we can pursue reconciliation with others.

Has God brought a specific person to mind while reading this devotion? Is there a phone call, text message, conversation, or apology that needs to happen? What step of reconciliation can you take today?

The reason murder is wrong is that every human being is created in the image of God. That truth gives every person dignity, worth, and value. Whether rich or poor, young or old, successful or struggling, every human life matters because every human life reflects something about its Creator.

This is why Jesus takes anger and contempt so seriously. When we harbor hatred toward another person, we are directing that hatred toward someone made in God’s image. When we insult, belittle, mock, or demean another person, we fail to recognize the value God has placed on them.

James addresses this issue directly when he writes about our tongue: “Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right!” (James 3:9–10, NLT)

James reminds us that it is inconsistent to worship God on Sunday while tearing down people made in His image on Monday. God values people, and He calls His followers to do the same.

This truth affects far more than physical violence. It impacts how we speak, how we treat people, how we engage online, how we respond to those who disagree with us, and even how we think about those who have hurt us. Jesus is teaching us that the sixth commandment is ultimately about valuing people the way God values people.

From the moment of conception in the womb to the final moments of life, every person bears God’s image and possesses God-given worth. That includes the difficult neighbor, the coworker who frustrates you, the family member who hurt you, and the stranger who cut you off in traffic.

A museum visitor accidentally brushed against a painting and caused a small tear in the canvas. The visitor immediately panicked because he knew the artwork was worth millions of dollars. What made the painting valuable was not the canvas or the paint itself. Those things merely cost a few dollars. What made the painting valuable was that it had been created by a famous artist. Its value came from the artist who created it.

In a much greater way, our value comes from our Creator. Every person is valuable because every person bears the image of God. When we remember who created people, it changes how we treat them.

The next time you find yourself becoming frustrated with someone, pause and remember: This person is an image bearer of God. They may not act like it. They may not deserve your kindness. But neither did we deserve God’s grace, and yet He extended it to us through Christ.

The gospel reminds us that Jesus died not only for people who are easy to love but also for people who are difficult to love. As followers of Jesus, we are called to see people through the lens of God’s grace rather than through the lens of our frustration.

Who in your life is most difficult for you to view as an image bearer of God? How would your relationships change if you intentionally viewed every person as someone created in God’s image?

Most people read the sixth commandment, “You must not murder” (Exodus 20:13, NLT), and quickly conclude that they are doing pretty well. After all, most of us have never taken another person’s life. Yet Jesus takes this commandment much deeper than our actions and points directly to our hearts.

In Matthew 5, Jesus confronts the self-righteous thinking of the Pharisees. They believed they were righteous because they had avoided the outward act of murder. Jesus shows them—and us—that murder begins long before a weapon is ever picked up. Murder begins in the heart. Anger, bitterness, resentment, and contempt are the roots from which destructive actions grow.

Jesus teaches that God is concerned not only with what our hands do but also with what our hearts desire. A person can appear calm and respectable on the outside while carrying deep hostility on the inside. We may never physically harm someone, yet we can replay offenses in our minds, nurse old wounds, and secretly wish harm on those who have hurt us. Jesus says these attitudes matter because they reveal the true condition of our hearts.

The Apostle Paul echoes this truth in Ephesians 4:31–32 (NLT): “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God, through Christ, has forgiven you.” Notice that Paul doesn’t simply tell us to suppress anger. He tells us to remove it and replace it with kindness, compassion, and forgiveness. Why? Because bitterness grows if left untreated. Anger rarely stays contained. It spreads into our words, our attitudes, our relationships, and eventually into our spiritual lives.

A man carried a small notebook in his pocket. Every time someone offended him, he wrote down the person’s name along with what they had done. Years later, the notebook was full. The man remembered every offense, every slight, and every insult. He had become an expert at keeping a record of wrongs.

One day, a friend asked him, “How heavy is that notebook?”

The man laughed and said, “Almost nothing.”

His friend replied, “Then why does carrying it seem to weigh down your entire life?”

The notebook was small, but the bitterness it represented had become a crushing burden.

Many of us carry notebooks like that in our hearts. We replay conversations, remember hurts, and hold onto resentment. Yet Jesus invites us to lay those burdens down. The gospel reminds us that we have been forgiven far more than we will ever be asked to forgive. Because Christ has extended grace to us, we can extend grace to others.

Is there any anger, bitterness, or resentment taking root in your heart? Is there someone you need to forgive today?