NorthStar Church Blog

I once heard a coach say something that stuck with me: “You don’t become a great player by watching great players practice. You become a great player by getting in the game.”

There is a difference between watching something happen and being shaped by actually doing it. You can watch every tutorial, study every strategy, and learn everything there is to know, but eventually you have to step onto the field. That is where growth happens. That is where weaknesses are exposed, where lessons are learned, and where you become the person you are trying to become.

The same is true in our walk with Jesus. There is a place for sitting, learning, and growing as a disciple. But at some point, Jesus invites us to step into the work He has called us to do. Because often, God does not just prepare us for ministry before we serve—He forms us through the process of serving.

That is exactly what we see in the life of Peter. John 21 is one of the most powerful moments in Peter’s story. After everything Peter experienced with Jesus—the miracles, the teachings, the moments of intimacy, and even the promise that he would never leave Jesus—Peter still failed. On the night Jesus was arrested, Peter denied knowing Him three different times. The disciple who confidently said, “Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you” (Matthew 26:35) ended up standing around a fire and saying, “I do not know the man.”

It is hard to imagine the weight Peter carried after that moment. He had spent years following Jesus, but when the moment mattered most, he failed. The shame, disappointment, and regret must have been overwhelming. Maybe Peter wondered if he was still qualified to be used by God. Maybe he thought his failure disqualified him from the mission Jesus had given him.

But John 21 shows us something incredible about Jesus. He does not just forgive Peter… He forms him.

After Jesus’ resurrection, He meets Peter on the shore of the Sea of Galilee. They eat breakfast together, and then Jesus asks Peter a question that gets right to the heart of his calling: “Do you love me more than these?”

Three times Jesus asks Peter if he loves Him. Three times Peter responds. This is not Jesus trying to shame Peter or remind him of his failure. This is Jesus restoring him. The three questions mirror Peter’s three denials, but instead of leaving Peter stuck in his failure, Jesus invites him into a new future.

After each response, Jesus gives Peter a command: “Feed my lambs.” “Tend my sheep.” “Feed my sheep.” Jesus was showing Peter that his restoration was not just about receiving forgiveness. It was about stepping into purpose.

Peter needed to be formed, but that formation was not going to come by simply following Jesus around anymore. For three years, Peter had watched Jesus do ministry. He watched Jesus teach crowds, heal the sick, welcome outsiders, and show compassion. He had been a follower, a learner, and a witness.

But now Jesus was inviting Peter into something different. Peter would not be formed by standing on the sidelines. He would be formed by stepping into the work God had called him to do.

This is one of the beautiful truths of following Jesus… God often forms us while we serve others.

We often think we need to become more mature, more confident, more prepared, or more spiritual before God can use us. We imagine that growth happens before ministry begins. But throughout Scripture, we see the opposite. God shapes people through obedience. He forms people as they step out in faith. He grows people as they love, serve, lead, and care for others.

Peter was not fully restored because he had everything figured out. He was restored because Jesus gave him a mission. And that mission became the very place where Peter would grow.

Serving others would teach Peter humility. Caring for Jesus’ sheep would teach him patience. Leading the early church would teach him dependence on the Holy Spirit. Loving people who were difficult would shape him into the kind of shepherd Jesus was calling him to become.

The same is true for us.

God does not wait until we are perfect before He invites us to serve. In fact, serving is often one of the ways God makes us more like Jesus. When we serve others, God exposes areas where we still need growth. He reveals our selfishness, our impatience, and our desire for recognition. But He also teaches us compassion, perseverance, humility, and love.

Peter’s greatest moments were not behind him because of his failure. Jesus still had a purpose for him. The same disciple who denied Jesus would one day boldly proclaim Him. The same Peter who was afraid of a servant girl would later stand before thousands and preach the gospel. The same Peter who failed privately would become a leader of the early church.

God formed Peter through the very thing He called him to do.

Maybe you feel like Peter. Maybe you know the places where you have failed. Maybe you feel like you need more time, more knowledge, or more growth before God can use you. But John 21 reminds us that God does not only form us before we serve. He forms us as we serve.

The invitation of Jesus is the same today: “Do you love me?” And when our answer is yes, He invites us to care for His people.

Because the mission of God is not just something we accomplish for Him. It is something He uses to transform us into the people He created us to be.

Have you ever walked into someone’s house and immediately felt at home? Maybe it wasn’t anything extravagant. The furniture wasn’t expensive, and the decorations weren’t straight out of a magazine. But from the moment you walked through the door, you knew you were welcome. The conversation came easily, people were genuinely interested in you, and you left feeling refreshed instead of wondering whether you had overstayed your welcome.

Now think about the opposite experience. Have you ever walked into a room where you felt like an outsider? You didn’t know where to sit. You wondered if you were in the right place. Everyone else seemed to know each other, and you spent the entire time hoping someone would notice you. The difference between those two experiences usually isn’t the building… it’s the people. One of the greatest gifts we can give someone isn’t a perfect environment. It’s helping them feel like they belong.

That’s exactly what we see in Acts 16. Paul arrives in Philippi looking for people who are seeking God. There he meets Lydia, a successful businesswoman who sells purple cloth. As Paul shares the gospel, the Lord opens Lydia’s heart, and she responds in faith. She and her household are baptized, and almost immediately she does something remarkable. She opens her home to Paul and his traveling companions. Then, at the end of the chapter, after Paul and Silas are released from prison, where do they go? They return to Lydia’s house, where they gather with other believers and encourage one another before continuing their journey.

Somewhere between those two moments, Lydia’s house became much more than a house. It became a home. It became a place where believers gathered, friendships were formed, people were encouraged, and the church in Philippi began to grow. Lydia probably had no idea that her simple act of opening her home would become part of the story of how the gospel spread throughout Europe. She simply responded to the grace she had received by making room for other people.

When we hear the word hospitality, it’s easy to picture dinner parties, beautifully decorated homes, or elaborate meals. While those things can certainly be expressions of hospitality, the Bible paints a much broader picture. Biblical hospitality is simply making room for people. Sometimes that happens around a dining room table. Other times it happens in a church lobby, a coffee shop, or during a conversation after a Sunday service. Hospitality is less about impressing people and more about helping them know they are seen, valued, and welcomed.

In many ways, that’s exactly what happens every Sunday at church. Long before the sermon begins, people are already forming opinions about whether this is a place where they belong. Someone waves as they pull into the parking lot. A greeter opens the front door with a smile. A volunteer helps a nervous parent check in their child for the first time. Someone notices the college student standing alone and invites them to sit together. Those moments may seem ordinary, but they often determine whether someone feels comfortable enough to come back.

Think about it this way. Most people who are new to church walk in wondering, “Will anyone notice me? Will I fit in? Does anyone actually care that I’m here?” Before they ever hear the message, they’ve already learned something about the heart of the church through the people who welcomed them.

That’s why hospitality isn’t just another volunteer position. It’s ministry. Every smile, every handshake, every conversation, every cup of coffee, and every act of kindness helps remove barriers so people can encounter Jesus. While only one person may preach on a Sunday morning, dozens of people have already prepared the way by creating an environment where others feel safe, loved, and valued.

One of the phrases we use often at NorthStar is that we want to help people find their way home. That’s more than a catchy phrase. It’s a picture of the gospel itself. Every one of us was once separated from God because of our sin. We didn’t earn our way into His family. Through Jesus, God welcomed us with open arms. We were strangers who became sons and daughters. We were outsiders who found a home, just like Lydia.

Now we have the privilege of extending that same welcome to others.

The beautiful thing about hospitality is that you don’t have to be the loudest or most outgoing person in the room to practice it. Some people naturally strike up conversations with anyone they meet, and that’s a wonderful gift. But biblical hospitality is ultimately about intentionality, not personality. It’s choosing to notice the person standing alone. It’s remembering someone’s name the next time you see them. It’s inviting someone to lunch after church or introducing a first-time guest to a few friends. Those small acts often have a much greater impact than we realize.

Lydia reminds us that ordinary faithfulness can have extraordinary results. She wasn’t trying to become well-known. She wasn’t building a platform. She simply used what God had given her—her home—to serve others. God used that simple act to encourage believers and strengthen a brand-new church.

The same is true today. Not all of us have the same gifts, but all of us can help people feel at home. Whether you’re greeting at the front door, serving coffee, leading a small group, or inviting someone to sit with you during the service, you’re doing more than being friendly. You’re reflecting the heart of a God who welcomed you first.

Healthy families don’t just care for the people already inside the house. They always leave room for one more. That’s the kind of family God is building through His church, and every act of hospitality helps someone else take one step closer to finding their way home.

I’m the middle of three boys. My older brother is four years older than I am, and my younger brother is five years younger, so we were all at different stages growing up.

One thing I remember clearly is the whiteboard hanging on the side of our refrigerator. Every week, it had our chores written on it. My older brother cleaned the shower because he was tall enough to reach it. I cleaned the toilets (maybe that’s why I ended up in ministry). And my younger brother’s biggest responsibility was probably picking up his toys. My mom didn’t expect us to do the exact same jobs. She gave each of us responsibilities that matched our age and abilities.

None of us earned our place in the family by doing those chores. We did them because we were already part of the family.

In Romans 12, Paul reminds the family of God that each of us has a role to play. If we’ve discovered our gifts, what is the next step? To use them! God never intended spiritual gifts to stay on the shelf. They’re meant to be used.

One of the biggest misconceptions about serving is that it’s primarily about filling holes or meeting the church’s needs. While those needs are real, that’s actually not the primary reason we serve.

We serve because that’s what healthy families do.

Think about your own family for a moment. Imagine if everyone came home every evening, sat on the couch, and waited for someone else to cook dinner, wash the dishes, mow the lawn, or take out the trash. It wouldn’t take long before that household became frustrating for everyone.

Healthy families work differently. Everyone contributes, not because someone is forcing them to, but because they recognize they’re part of something bigger than themselves.

That’s the picture Paul paints in Romans 12. After reminding believers about God’s incredible mercy, he tells us that we all have different gifts according to God’s grace and then simply says, “Let us use them.” He doesn’t say, “Admire your gifts,” or “Compare your gifts.” He says, “Use them.” The Christian life was never meant to be lived from the sidelines.

Before we go any further, there’s an important distinction to make. Your spiritual gifts are not the same thing as God’s commands.

I remember sitting in a college small group years ago when we were discussing spiritual gifts. One student said, “I’m really good at one-on-one discipleship, but I’m not gifted in evangelism like this other leader is. I’ll let him share the gospel, and I’ll just disciple people.”

There was just one problem. Jesus commands every believer to make disciples and share the gospel.

Sometimes we use the phrase, “That’s just not my gifting,” as an excuse to avoid something God has clearly called all of us to do.

In Scripture, there are clear commands that every believer is called to obey. In fact, there are more than 50 “one another” commands in the New Testament that instruct us to love, honor, welcome, forgive, encourage, and care for one another—not to mention dozens of other commands that apply to every follower of Christ.

Maybe hospitality doesn’t come naturally to you. Maybe serving behind the scenes isn’t your favorite thing. Those may not be your primary gifts, but they don’t exempt you from loving people, showing kindness, sharing your faith, or serving whenever there’s a need.

Our gifts determine how we especially strengthen the body, but they never cancel God’s commands.

That’s why serving in the church is so beautiful. Not everyone teaches. Not everyone sings. Not everyone runs cameras or greets guests at the front door. But everyone can contribute. When each person faithfully uses the gifts God has given them, the church begins to function the way God designed it. Guests feel welcomed. Children learn about Jesus. Worship happens without distraction. People hear the gospel. Lives are changed.

One of my favorite things about Sunday mornings is realizing how many people are serving in ways most of us will never notice. Someone unlocked the doors before the sun came up. Someone prayed over every auditorium chair. Someone comforted a crying child. Someone welcomed a first-time guest. Someone stayed late to stack chairs after everyone else went home.

Most of those moments will never make it onto a stage, but every one of them matters.

Maybe you’ve been waiting until you feel perfectly qualified before serving. Or maybe you’ve been waiting for the “perfect” opportunity that matches your gifting exactly.

Can I encourage you with something?

Just start serving.

You’ll rarely discover your gifts by sitting on the sidelines. More often, God reveals them as you faithfully step into opportunities to serve others. As you do, you’ll find yourself growing—not just in your gifting, but in your love for God’s people.

After all, that’s what families do. They don’t ask, “What’s the least I can do?” They ask, “How can I help?” That’s the kind of family God is building through His church. Every member is different. Every member is needed. And every member has the opportunity to use the gifts God has graciously given them for the good of others and the glory of Christ.

Growing up, I always loved birthday parties. Sure, the cake and ice cream were great, but every kid knows the best part was watching the presents being opened. There was always that anticipation. What are they going to get? Will they love it? Should I ask my mom for that thing? There’s something exciting about receiving a gift because a good gift communicates that someone knows you, values you, and intentionally chose something with you in mind.

Sometimes my mind wanders, and I imagine what it must be like when someone places their faith in Jesus. I picture heaven celebrating, the angels rejoicing, and then God saying, “I’ve got something for you.” Not a new car or a winning lottery ticket, but something much better… a spiritual gift. The God who created the universe also takes the time to uniquely equip every one of His children. No one is forgotten. No one is overlooked. Every believer has been gifted for a purpose.

Yesterday we talked about how we belong before we serve. Our identity comes before our activity. We don’t earn our place in God’s family through serving. We serve because we’ve already been welcomed into the family. Once we understand that truth, the next question naturally becomes, “What role has God given me to play?”

Paul answers that question in 1 Corinthians 12 by comparing the church to a body. At first, it’s a funny picture. You’re an eye. Someone else is an ear. Someone else is a hand. Apparently, somebody gets to be the big toe. But the illustration makes perfect sense when you stop and think about your own body.

Have you ever stubbed your toe or had a sinus infection? Neither seems like a big deal, yet suddenly your whole body feels affected. Your mood changes, your energy drops, and everything becomes a little harder. Why? Because every part of your body matters, even the parts you rarely think about.

That’s Paul’s point. The church isn’t made up of identical people doing identical things. God intentionally designed His family with different gifts. Some people naturally encourage others. Some teach. Some lead. Others quietly serve behind the scenes, show mercy, or organize details. Every one of those gifts matters because every one of those people matters.

Paul writes, “God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as He chose.” Don’t miss those last three words: as He chose. Your gift wasn’t random, and it certainly wasn’t a mistake. God intentionally gave it to you because He knows exactly what His church needs. Before you were ever aware of your strengths, He already knew how He wanted to use your life to build up His people.

One of the biggest obstacles to embracing our gifts is comparison. We watch someone preach, lead worship, or welcome people with ease and think, I wish I could do that. Before long, we begin believing that someone else’s gift is more important than our own.

Paul completely tears down that way of thinking. He imagines the foot saying, “Because I’m not a hand, I don’t belong,” or the ear saying, “Because I’m not an eye, I don’t belong.” That sounds ridiculous. A foot was never supposed to be a hand. An ear was never meant to be an eye. Yet we often do the same thing by wishing we had someone else’s gifts instead of faithfully using our own.

God isn’t asking you to be someone else. He’s asking you to faithfully steward what He’s already entrusted to you. The church doesn’t need another copy of someone else. It needs you to be faithful with the gifts He’s given you.

That’s especially true when we think about serving at NorthStar (or wherever you might call home). It’s easy to assume the most important roles are the ones everyone can see, but every Sunday is held together by people faithfully serving in ways that often go unnoticed. Someone helped park cars before the first family arrived. Someone made coffee. Someone welcomed guests at the door. Someone checked children into classrooms. Someone prepared slides or served behind a camera. Many of those people will never stand on a stage, but their faithfulness helps create an environment where people can encounter Jesus.

The church isn’t built by a few visible leaders. It’s built by an entire family using the gifts God has entrusted to them.

It’s also important to remember that spiritual gifts aren’t simply natural talents. God certainly uses our personalities and abilities, but spiritual gifts are given by the Holy Spirit for the purpose of building up the church. They were never meant to make us look impressive. They were given so others would be strengthened and Jesus would be glorified.

If you’re not sure what your spiritual gifts are yet, don’t panic. Most people don’t discover them by taking a quiz. They discover them by serving. As you begin saying yes to opportunities, you’ll start noticing patterns. Maybe people are consistently encouraged when you teach. Maybe children naturally connect with you. Maybe you come alive organizing details or making first-time guests feel at home. God often reveals our gifting as we faithfully step out in obedience.

Remember, this isn’t about finding the most important role. It’s about faithfully using whatever God has entrusted to you. Every member of God’s family has received a gift, and every gift matters because every member matters.

I have always been intrigued by the order of operations. What came first, the chicken or the egg? In math equations, do you multiply or divide first? (I thought the answer was common knowledge thanks to PEMDAS… but my Facebook feed tells me differently!) Even in cooking, the order matters. If you try to bake cookies without first combining all the ingredients, things probably won’t turn out very well.

The order of operations matters in life. It also matters in our faith.

Now, our spiritual growth isn’t always neat and linear. Everyone has a different story, and God often works in unexpected ways. But throughout Scripture, we see that there is an important order to the Christian life. Before God calls us to do something for Him, He first tells us who we are because of Him.

That’s exactly what Paul is doing in Ephesians 2. Before he ever talks about what believers do, he reminds them of what God has already done. He tells them they are “no longer strangers and aliens” but are now “members of the household of God.”

Think about those two descriptions for a moment.

A stranger doesn’t know anyone. An outsider doesn’t feel like they belong. A visitor wonders if they are really welcome. But family? Family belongs.

The moment we place our faith in Jesus, everything changes. We aren’t slowly working our way into God’s family or earning a seat at His table. We are adopted. We become sons and daughters of God. We go from being far away to being welcomed home, from spiritual outsiders to citizens of heaven, from strangers to family.

This is our identity!

So, when do we officially become part of God’s family? Is it when we’re baptized? When we join a small group? When we start serving on Sundays? When we’ve been Christians for a certain number of years? No!

The moment we trust in Christ, we belong to Him! That’s good news because it means God’s love isn’t based on our performance. He doesn’t wait to see how useful we’ll be before He welcomes us into His family. He welcomes us first.

Paul says it well in Ephesians 2:8–9: “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

Grace always comes before works. Identity always comes before activity. Belonging always comes before serving.

I think this is where many of us get it backward—unintentionally. We know the church needs volunteers and that serving is important. So we jump in and slowly begin to hope that if we do enough for God, maybe we’ll finally feel close to Him. We begin measuring our relationship with Jesus by our productivity. We assume that if we are busy doing things for God, then He must be pleased with us.

Maybe you’ve felt that before. When you’re serving every week, you feel like you’re doing well spiritually. When you’re not serving, guilt starts creeping in.

Slowly, your identity shifts from being a child of God to being a worker for God. But those are not the same thing. Can I tell you something that might sound surprising? If you have placed your faith in Jesus and, for whatever reason, were never able to serve another day in your life, God would not love you any less.

That doesn’t mean serving isn’t important. It means serving isn’t what secures your place in God’s family. We’re reminded in Isaiah 64:6 that even our best efforts are never enough to earn God’s favor. Isaiah writes that “all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment.”

Our works could never save us. Only Jesus could.

Ultimately, we don’t greet people on Sundays so God will accept us. We don’t hold babies in the nursery so He’ll love us more. We don’t park cars, make coffee, run cameras, lead worship, or teach kids because we’re trying to earn His approval. We do those things because we’ve already received His approval through Christ.

Serving isn’t payment for salvation. It’s gratitude because of salvation. In fact, when we truly understand our identity in Christ, serving stops feeling like an obligation and starts becoming a joy.

Why? Because family members naturally care for one another. They celebrate together. They carry one another’s burdens. They pitch in when something needs to be done.

As we begin this series, don’t start by asking, “Where should I serve?” Start by asking a better question: Do I truly believe I belong?

That is where it all begins.