Digging Deeper: More Than Sorry
12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.
Colossians 3:12-14 (NLT)
MORE THAN SORRY
Every Friday night, my family gets pizza and ice cream and watches a movie together. As people “from the 1900s” as my 8 year old says, we have a fondness for 90s and early 2000s movies and we try to share those with our boys when we can.
One of the movies I remember watching with Deanna when we were dating was an old Ryan Reynolds movie called Just Friends. It’s a comedy in which Reynolds plays an executive at a record label and is charged with the care of a top client and prima donna (played by Anna Farris).
In spite of her immense success and fame, Farris’ character is a terrible singer and songwriter. She writes this short song where she sings “Forgiveness….is more than saying sorry.” The song shows up repeatedly and comically throughout the movie and we still reference it with humor to one another today.
When we started this new series at NorthStar, we examined Paul’s letter to the Colossians in which he calls us to “forgive one another as Christ has forgiven you.” (3:13) So, essentially, she’s right…It IS more than saying sorry! In fact it is a call to persistence for any believer, a relentless pursuit to forgive.
The call to forgiveness is echoed throughout the New Testament (Matthew 6:14, Ephesians 4:31-32, Matthew 5:38-48) and is ultimately modeled in Jesus’ death on the cross.
While we see it embodied, it is not easy to put into practice. Jesus discusses the nature of wrongdoing, repentance and forgiveness and it prompted questions with his disciples. In Matthew, He was asked by Peter how many times he should be willing to forgive someone if they repent. “As many as seven times?” Peter asked, to which Jesus responded, “I do not say to you seven times, I say to you seventy-seven times.”
This was Jesus’ way of saying to stop counting and limiting your willingness to forgive someone. Where there is contrition or repentance, we are to offer forgiveness. That means when you do battle with kids or have a world-class argument with your spouse, at the end of the day we still have to meet repentance with forgiveness.
When you harbor resentment or anger against someone, it can actually be clinically bad for you. According to John Hopkins Medicine, lingering or “chronic” anger can put your body into fight or flight mode, elevating your stress levels, while “forgiveness calms stress levels and leads to improved health.”
This should come as no surprise, given the creator of our bodies embodies forgiveness himself. As Mike Linch says, the cup of bitterness is meant for someone else and yet you drink it yourself.
The examples in the scripture are numerous, including Joseph’s forgiveness for his brothers (Gen 45:4-8), David’s forgiveness of Saul (1 Samuel 24:1-15) and Jesus’ prayer for those that tortured him (John 23:33-34).
Exploring the boundless nature of God’s love for his people does not make it easier to forgive when we have been hurt, but it does make it necessary.
So be kind, show love and remember, forgiveness is more than saying sorry!
Lee Wilson and his wife, Deanna, have been NorthStar Church members since 2010. They are parents to Everett, Henry and Roselyn. Lee is passionate about sports (Go Braves, Go Dawgs) and has the pleasure to serve on the worship team as a bassist.