Digging Deeper: The Difference Between Asking and Surrender
36 Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here, while I go over there and pray.” 37 And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” 39 And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” 40 And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. And he said to Peter, “So, could you not watch with me one hour? 41 Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” 42 Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.” 43 And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. 44 So, leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words again. 45 Then he came to the disciples and said to them, “Sleep and take your rest later on. See, the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. 46 Rise, let us be going; see, my betrayer is at hand.”
Matthew 26:36-46 (ESV)
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ASKING AND SURRENDER
Yesterday, we focused on the big prayers we pray. What would happen if we saw lives changed, miracles happening, and people coming to know Jesus? We’d be so excited! But today, I want to challenge you to think about another reason our prayers may be lacking. Do you ever pray for God to bring about change while secretly hoping He won’t ask you to change anything?
Think of it this way. (Here is my chance to insert something about the TV show Survivor.) I always say I would go on the show. I would love to compete. I believe I have the relational ability and strategic mind to win, and it would be fun! But what if today I got a call from Jeff Probst saying they needed a replacement contestant, filming started tomorrow, and I would be gone for 45 days?
This would be a dream come true! But what if those dates landed on our biggest night of our college ministry? What if filming overlapped with one of my daughter’s birthdays? What would my wife think if I left her for 45 days straight? At some point, I would have to ask myself, “Do I actually want to do this?” I’ve always said I wanted to be on Survivor, but when the opportunity finally came, I might discover that I wasn’t willing to accept everything that came with it. There is a difference between saying we want something and being willing to embrace what it requires.
I believe many of us do the same thing in our spiritual lives. We pray for God to give us victory over a particular sin, but we don’t want to give up the things that continually lead us back into it. We pray for spiritual growth, but we don’t want to rearrange our schedules to spend time in His Word. We pray for God to use us, but we don’t want to be inconvenienced. Sometimes the problem with our prayers isn’t that we don’t believe God is able to answer them. The problem is that we know He is more than able, but that it might require something from us.
What if the way God answers your prayer looks different from what you expected? What if He doesn’t immediately remove a struggle, but instead gives you the strength and discipline to keep fighting? What if He doesn’t remove a difficult person from your life, but teaches you patience, forgiveness, and grace? Would you still want the answer?
This is where Jesus gives us an incredible example. In the Garden of Gethsemane, knowing the suffering that was ahead of Him, Jesus prayed to the Father in verse 39, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” Jesus was honest about what He wanted. He asked the Father if there was another way, but He also surrendered Himself to the Father’s will. He brought His desire before God without allowing that desire to take priority over obedience.
That is an important distinction in our prayer lives. Surrender doesn’t mean we stop asking God for things or pretend we don’t have our own desires. We can bring Him our fears, frustrations, hopes, and the things we desperately want Him to change. But we must also trust Him when His answer looks different from what we expected. It’s easy to pray, “God, here’s what I want You to do.” It’s much harder to pray, “God, here’s what I want You to do, but I trust You even if Your plan looks different from mine.”
Sometimes God changes our circumstances, and sometimes He uses those circumstances to change us. We may ask Him to help our daily life, but He may use a difficult season to deepen our dependence on Him. We may ask Him to fix a relationship, but He may first challenge us to forgive. We may ask Him to remove an obstacle, but He may use it to teach us patience and perseverance. We won’t always understand why God answers the way He does, but we can trust that He sees what we cannot see and knows what we cannot know.
So, what are you praying for right now? Are you asking God to change something in your life? Maybe you’re asking Him to help you overcome a struggle, grow in your faith, or use you in a new way. Keep asking Him. Pray boldly and honestly, but also consider whether you’re willing to trust Him with the outcome. Are you willing to obey if He asks you to take a difficult step? Are you willing to let go of something you’ve been holding onto? Are you willing to follow Him even when His answer isn’t the one you hoped for?
Jesus reminds us that we can bring our requests to a good Father who hears us and cares for us. We don’t have to hide what we want from Him, and we don’t have to be afraid to surrender those desires to Him. Prayer is not just asking God to do what we want. It’s trusting Him enough to surrender to what He wants.
Sellers Hickman serves as College & Teaching Pastor at NorthStar Church and loves cheering on his Ole Miss Rebels. He and his wife, Hannah, live in Dallas, Ga. with their two daughters. He also serves as the chaplain for the KSU Men’s Basketball team.