Digging Deeper: Honor Thy Father

I do not know most of you who are reading this, and I have met very few fathers of those of you I do know. I do not pretend to understand the family dynamic that existed in your household as a son or daughter. I know some situations were peaceful and loving, while others were turbulent and loveless. I imagine the majority of situations fell somewhere in the middle.

I was blessed to have a father who loved and protected his children. He was by no means a perfect father, but he loved Jesus and treated us with love and respect. His love was rarely displayed in a touchy-feely, emotional way. He was always there in the shadows, showing his love in subtle, behind-the-scenes ways. I have always compared his parenting style to the bumpers found at a bowling alley. These devices are put in place to keep the ball from rolling into the gutter. If you are over the age of ten and still use these when you bowl, then maybe you should consider either giving up the game or taking a lesson!

My father allowed his children to chart their own paths in life, but he did not lack discipline. He tried to keep us on a straight path and was always present to keep us “out of the gutter.” I will fully admit that there were times when each of us managed to fall into “the gutter” despite his protection. We survived, and my father was there not only to help us back onto our feet but also to reinforce the lesson we had just learned. I tried to emulate his parenting style with my own children; you will have to ask them how I did!

When God commands the Israelites to “honor your father,” He is reinforcing a relationship that mirrors the relationship His children are to have with Him. My siblings and I rarely obeyed my father out of fear—although the occasional spanking was threatened and sometimes delivered. We respected my father for who he was and for what he stood for. We honored him in our hearts, although not always consistently in our actions.

Honoring one’s parents is one of the pillars of a successful culture. Biblical commentator Alan Cole notes, “This is not a popular doctrine in our modern world, where youth is worshipped, and old age dreaded or despised. The result is the folly by which men and women strive to remain eternally youthful, only to find it an impossible task.”

Whether your parents, like mine, have long since passed away, are nearing the end of their lives, or are still youthful—in body and/or spirit—remember that you will always be their son or daughter. Honor their memory. Honor their wisdom as they approach the end of their journey. Honor them while you still have them here on earth.

I pray that, no matter the state of your relationship with your father, you will love and honor him as we are called to love and honor our Heavenly Father.