Digging Deeper – Feeling Stuck

This has been a year fraught with difficulty for our family. It began quite literally on January 1, when we had to take my mom to urgent care. She had been under the weather – likely a nasty virus of some sort – when she found herself on the floor two consecutive mornings. Because she suffered from vascular dementia, she couldn’t even tell us what happened. She was extremely weak from dehydration and lacked the strength to get on her bed or to climb back up in her recliner.

She got some IV fluids, which perked her up some. But, for the next few months, things simply weren’t the same. She would barely eat, and her existence was just that – sitting in a recliner daily from 9 a.m. until 8 p.m. She kept saying, “I just wish I would feel like myself again.” Unfortunately, she never would.

Meanwhile, I was burning up the roads from Kennesaw to Cartersville several days each week to check on her, help her, force-feed her, clean her house, walk with her, and encourage her to use her mind in various ways. I was exhausted, frustrated, and distraught. Each day I would begin my day with the same prayer: “Lord I need your help. Please give me the strength and attitude to help Mom.” At the same time, I was pleading with God on another level. “I pray for mercy and compassion for Mom. She is your child. Show your lovingkindness to her.”

Mom was ready to meet Jesus long before she would be taken home. She would get frustrated with her cognitive decline and say, “I wish I’d go to bed and not wake up.” Other days, she’d state it more plainly: “I wish I would just die.” I don’t have to tell you how disheartening it is to be faced with those sentiments day in and day out.

What I learned in those dark days was something Mike Linch covered in his message this past Sunday: Hold onto Jesus’ promises, even when I can’t see the evidence. Even in those challenging months – a season I genuinely thought might never end – I clung to what I knew to be true about my Savior. That he would never leave me or forsake me – or Mom (Deuteronomy 31:8); that He loves His children (1 John 3:1); that He has my best in mind (Romans 8:28); and that His thoughts and plans are far greater than mine (Isaiah 55:8-9).

Jesus called Mom home on May 6, 2026, less than two weeks before her 86th birthday. There was sadness at her leaving us, but mostly there was a profound peace that she is whole once more and in the place she always longed to be. I now see those months of anguish as a blessing; God gave me many hours with my mom that I wouldn’t have gotten otherwise.

Amid all of this, my wife, Amy, accepted a new position in February, and we now face another season of uncertainty. We’ve had our house for sale since the spring but have not yet sold it. Amy has a 3-hour-plus daily commute, and she is weary. We’re ready to begin the next chapter in a new home, in a new community. But just like with my mom, it’s all in God’s timing. We’ll keep holding onto His promises, despite our inability to see the evidence of His work behind the scenes. That’s what you do when you feel stuck. You hold onto the hope you have in God’s Word. One of Mom’s life verses comes to mind:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.  Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV)