Digging Deeper: A Commandment with a Promise

Paul tells the church at Ephesus that it is “right” to obey one’s parents, and he repeats the Fifth Commandment to emphasize his point. Paul is telling his readers that not only is it the right thing to do, but it also mirrors our obedience to the Lord (v. 1). Paul further notes that this Fifth Commandment is the first commandment “with a promise” (v. 2). What exactly is that promise? Let’s dive a little deeper into his message.

God first promises the Israelites that honoring one’s father and mother will result in “long days.” Francis Foulkes notes, “When the bonds of family life break up, when respect for parents fails, the community becomes decadent and will not live long.” For a society to survive, it is essential that discipline and obedience begin in the home.

The second promise God makes to the Israelites for honoring their parents is that things will “go well” with them in the Promised Land. The Ligonier ministry comments, “First, to obey the law of God is pleasing to Him, so children please God when they obey their mothers and fathers in the Lord. Second, we see that, generally speaking, life goes well for children who obey their parents.” Whether you are the disciplining parent or the obedient child, order and stability result from following God’s command to honor your parents.

In my opinion, one of the most common misconceptions about parenting is what I would label the BFF syndrome. This is the belief that parents and children can maintain a peer-like friendship rather than the hierarchy that is inherent within the parent-child relationship. I believe that adult children who are living independently no longer need to obey their parents in the same way they did as children, but they still need to respect and honor them. The Ligonier ministry notes, “Good parents lay down rules of discipline that are beneficial for all areas of life, and as children follow these rules, they find themselves able to form healthy relationships, hold down a job as an adult, and otherwise enjoy many benefits.”

I pray today that, whatever dynamic defines your family relationships, you will strive to honor your parents in every way. Even if disharmony and strife abound in your parent-child relationship, God calls both parties—parent and child alike—to honor one another.