Category: Digging Deeper

 

1 Sarah lived 127 years; these were the years of the life of Sarah. 2 And Sarah died at Kiriath-arba (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan, and Abraham went in to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her.

Genesis 23:1-2  (NLT)

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WALKS TO WINKS

 

As we reflect on the subject of emotional turmoil and grief, we have focused on Abraham and the death of his wife, Sarah. Even though none of us ever met Abraham, many of us can relate to the story through relevant personal losses we have experienced in our lifetimes.

The first time I ever remember experiencing death’s sting was when my grandmother, “Nana,” passed away in 1999. I was 12 years old, and I knew she was sick with lung cancer. I had been given limited anecdotes from my parents about how serious it was and to enjoy the time I got to spend with her.

I remember getting called up to the front office at school out of nowhere on a cold February day and feeling so perplexed with curiosity as to why I was leaving early that day. When I rounded the corner down the hallway and saw my teary-eyed father, I immediately knew, even before he told me. She was 58 years old.

I have always felt sorrow that I did not get to experience life beyond that age with her. I remember her, but I remember her through the eyes of a 12-year-old. I remember that being the only time I ever really saw my grandfather sad. He was a man who rarely wasn’t wearing a smile, thus sorrow wasn’t a common mode for him. I am grateful to say that my grandfather (“Pop Pop” to us) lived to see me get married, and he and I developed a special bond.

My family would take vacations every summer to the Outer Banks in North Carolina, with my grandfather picking a new beach house for my family and extended family to spend a week in every summer. I was an early riser, and most mornings it would be just me and him watching the sun come up over the beach in the distance. He would take a morning walk to a little general store called “Winks” every morning and grab a newspaper before everyone woke.

So, he started inviting me to go with him. It became our thing. Every vacation, I would get up, race to the living room, and wait for him to put on a pot of coffee so it would be ready by the time we got back. We would walk the beach road or sometimes in the sand until we got to Winks, where my grandfather and his infectiously boisterous personality were well known and well liked. He seemingly knew no strangers and would always manage to say something to make someone laugh.

In those early morning conversations, sometimes he would tell me about my grandmother. I would learn things about her that I didn’t know, and he would recount stories from their younger days. He even told me that she would yell “Master Chief!” to which my grandfather, who was an actual Master Chief in the Navy, knew he had messed up and was in the doghouse. We would laugh at those stories.

These conversations were joyful for me, and I think cathartic at times for him. Being present for someone and listening is sometimes the best medicine we can offer when they are working out their grief. We are sure to face adversity, and we all process that differently. We have a responsibility to be there for each other, but how? Paul simply says to “rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15). If we do this, we honor the grieving and Christ alike.

 

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Lee Wilson and his wife, Deanna, have been NorthStar Church members since 2010. They are parents to Everett, Henry and Roselyn. Lee is passionate about sports (Go Braves, Go Dawgs) and has the pleasure to serve on the worship team as a bassist.

 

3 And Abraham rose up from before his dead and said to the Hittites, 4“I am a sojourner and foreigner among you; give me property among you for a burying place, that I may bury my dead out of my sight.” 5 The Hittites answered Abraham, 6 “Hear us, my lord; you are a prince of God among us. Bury your dead in the choicest of our tombs. None of us will withhold from you his tomb to hinder you from burying your dead.” 7 Abraham rose and bowed to the Hittites, the people of the land. 

Genesis 23:3-7  (NLT)

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HELP WINNING THE FIGHT

 

I have always enjoyed sports, but I have never really been into boxing. One of my brothers and my dad both love boxing, even taking trips to see major fights in person. I typically stick to baseball and college football. I do, however, enjoy a good boxing movie.

The most notable one is the Rocky collection, which happens to be my brother’s favorite movie series. Another one that I like is Million Dollar Baby, a great movie with a tragic ending. My personal favorite, though, is a movie called Cinderella Man. It stars Russell Crowe as real-life boxer James “Jimmy” Braddock.

The true story is about Braddock’s failing boxing career at the onset of the Great Depression. Braddock was fighting uninteresting matches for whatever money he could get while trying to grab work, with thousands of others, wherever he could find it. Struggling to make ends meet, Braddock suffers a broken hand and can’t fight for a period of time, hurting his ability to earn money for his family.

In a touching scene in the movie, Braddock is at his wit’s end and is trying to avoid eviction. He goes directly to Madison Square Garden offices and takes off his hat, begging for spare change and money needed to stave off eviction (roughly $35, apparently). This scene presents us with a broken and desperate man doing whatever he has to do to protect his wife and kids.

We hopefully will never experience this measure of financial or personal desperation, but if we do, it is up to us to be willing to ask for help. We are reminded over and over again in Scripture that our one true helper is the Lord (Psalm 121:2), and when those moments come, we can’t be unwilling to ask Him for help.

We are to seek counsel from others (Proverbs 12:15) and not get caught up trying to solve everything on our own. This prideful sense of not burdening others with our problems is not healthy, and a true reflection of the humility of Christ is knowing when to ask for help.

In Cinderella Man, after Braddock’s injury is healing, his former trainer and friend offers him a fight where he knows Braddock will be overmatched but says it will pay Braddock $200 if he is willing to step into the ring. Braddock responds joyously, “For $200 I would fight your mother!” and they share a laugh and an embrace.

What follows is the remarkable true story of the underdog Jim Braddock. He would go on an incredible run where he would defeat Corn Griffin, John Henry Lewis, Art Lasky, and eventually Max Baer to win the Heavyweight Championship, etching his name on the wall of the greatest sports stories ever.

This moment was born out of his desperation and his willingness to ask for and accept help. We may not always win every time we step into the ring, but if we put our faith in the right place and accept the help of those around us, we at least have a puncher’s chance.

 

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Lee Wilson and his wife, Deanna, have been NorthStar Church members since 2010. They are parents to Everett, Henry and Roselyn. Lee is passionate about sports (Go Braves, Go Dawgs) and has the pleasure to serve on the worship team as a bassist.

 

7Abraham rose and bowed to the Hittites, the people of the land. 8And he said to them, “If you are willing that I should bury my dead out of my sight, hear me and entreat for me Ephron the son of Zohar, 9that he may give me the cave of Machpelah, which he owns; it is at the end of his field. For the full price let him give it to me in your presence as property for a burying place.”

10Now Ephron was sitting among the Hittites, and Ephron the Hittite answered Abraham in the hearing of the Hittites, of all who went in at the gate of his city, 11“No, my lord, hear me: I give you the field, and I give you the cave that is in it. In the sight of the sons of my people I give it to you. Bury your dead.” 12Then Abraham bowed down before the people of the land. 13And he said to Ephron in the hearing of the people of the land, “But if you will, hear me: I give the price of the field. Accept it from me, that I may bury my dead there.” 14Ephron answered Abraham, 15“My lord, listen to me: a piece of land worth four hundred shekels of silver, what is that between you and me? Bury your dead.” 16Abraham listened to Ephron, and Abraham weighed out for Ephron the silver that he had named in the hearing of the Hittites, four hundred shekels of silver, according to the weights current among the merchants.

Genesis 23:7-16  (NLT)

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BEAR EACH OTHER’S BURDENS

 

When we experience pain in this world, one of the only remedies is the company of those who care for us. If a relative or friend passes away, or if you lose a job or are on the brink of divorce, the company and counsel of godly people is required. When Abraham lost Sarah, he decided he wanted to belong to the community instead of just living on the outskirts. As we learn, he goes to speak with the Hittites and openly calls himself a “sojourner and foreigner among you” (Gen. 23:4). Abraham then asked to buy a plot of land to bury his beloved wife.

The story gets a bit perplexing in modern terms at this point because the locals are seemingly gracious to him and offer free burial plots and caves for him to use. Yet Abraham is not satisfied and insists upon buying a place for burial. Overhearing this insistence, Ephron enters the fray and again tries to offer free land to Abraham, but he refuses. After Ephron lists the price as 400 shekels of silver, Abraham carefully measures out and pays the fee in front of everyone, and the land was sold to Abraham. The puzzling nature of this transaction can be explained like this: Abraham wanted to be a land-owning member of the community. He no longer sought to live on the fringes and have to “borrow” free space to bury his wife.

By doing this, Abraham honored the long-term residents with an open and honest business transaction in public, ingratiating himself to them and adhering to cultural norms of the time. He wanted to belong to the community. When we are in search of relief in our most challenging moments, we must rely on the community that we belong to, underscoring the importance of finding this community for ourselves and our families. Paul reminds us that when we are in moments of affliction, we are to “Bear each other’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2).

If we can find our place in our community, like Abraham did, and commit to bearing one another’s burdens, the responsibility then comes to us to accept the help of those around us when our time of need comes. When my daughter passed away, my wife and I drove home from the hospital, exhausted with grief, and slept hard. The next morning, I pried myself out of bed and began to think about arranging a funeral and speaking with family that would be coming into town. Then, around 8 a.m., I had a knock at my door.

It was my friend and our small group leader, Mike Lindeman. He had several boxes of donuts and coffee. He leaned in my front door, gave me a hug, and left me with breakfast. He spent maybe two minutes there before going on his way, saying he just wanted to offer some food because he figured we would have company that day. I remember Mike telling me during that time that it was important to accept help because those around us who cared wanted desperately to help, and we should let them. It meant a lot to me, and it’s a lesson I never forgot. When we find our community or our small group and bear each other’s burdens, we honor God. Give help when you can, but also gladly accept the support of others when it is offered.

 

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Lee Wilson and his wife, Deanna, have been NorthStar Church members since 2010. They are parents to Everett, Henry and Roselyn. Lee is passionate about sports (Go Braves, Go Dawgs) and has the pleasure to serve on the worship team as a bassist.

 

1 Sarah lived 127 years; these were the years of the life of Sarah. 2And Sarah died at Kiriath-arba (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan, and Abraham went in to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her.

Abraham buried Sarah his wife in the cave of the field of Machpelah east of Mamre (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan. 20The field and the cave that is in it were made over to Abraham as property for a burying place by the Hittites.

Genesis 23:1-2, 19-20  (NLT)

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A UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE

 

This week, we get to discuss the universal language of grief. There isn’t a person alive who hasn’t felt the painful sting caused by death and experienced the emotional emptiness that it can bring. In fact, as I write this, I have just come from a funeral service for my neighbor. He was in his early 40s with no health complications, and one day got an internal infection out of nowhere and shortly after went home to be with the Lord. He leaves behind his wife and a precious 5-year-old little girl.

Sitting through his service and watching the slideshow of pictures was emotional. We keep pictures from the pinnacle moments in our lives, the moments where we experienced the most joy and the most fun. I saw pictures of him with his family and friends, but the ones that tugged at my heart were the ones of him with his little girl.

The moments of pain and sorrow felt today are only a glimpse of what this family will endure in their life from here on out. Every birthday, Christmas, and joyous moment will always be slightly dimmed by the absence of someone we wish was still there. Yet, in time, we are able to process and accept the pain, and it can become a constructive part of our journey.

We visited Abraham in the middle of his grief this week. After his beloved Sarah passed into eternity, Abraham went in to “mourn and weep for her” (Gen. 23:1-2). Taking the time to grieve is a necessary component for anyone experiencing loss, but it isn’t the same for all of us. From various medical sources, there is no specific time that it takes somebody to grieve. Some say it could take a year, maybe two, but a lot of it is unique to each situation.

The reality is, when we experience loss, a part of us is from that point gone. My daughter was born and passed away in October 2013. Every single day that I am alive, I feel a hole in my heart because of her absence. I won’t get that piece of my heart back until I see her again in eternity. I feel most people who have experienced meaningful loss can relate to that sentiment. Yet, when we experience the loss that only eternity can fill, we must go to the keeper of eternity’s gates to find purpose and hope in our despair.

David was no stranger to pain and grief, and in the Psalms, we sometimes get expressions of the raw emotions he experienced. In Psalm 13, David has a short yet piercing reflection we can relate to—he felt forgotten and wondered if God was there, but he perseveres in hope. It is only six verses:

1 How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
3 Consider and answer me, O LORD my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
4 lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,” lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.
5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the LORD, because he has dealt bountifully with me.

Even in a dark moment of doubt, David holds tightly to the Lord’s steadfast love. When we are shaken with grief and facing moments of doubt, we must remember that the Lord will deal “bountifully” with us, too, and cling tightly to His steadfast love.

 

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Lee Wilson and his wife, Deanna, have been NorthStar Church members since 2010. They are parents to Everett, Henry and Roselyn. Lee is passionate about sports (Go Braves, Go Dawgs) and has the pleasure to serve on the worship team as a bassist.

 

 

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.”

Matthew 5:14 (ESV)

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MAKE HEAVEN CROWDED

 

 

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Kelly Skelton is a Georgia native, raised in the south on Jesus, Georgia football and sweet tea.  She is her husbands’ biggest fan and her two daughters’ loudest cheerleaders.  She recently published her first children’s book titled, But God Had a Plan.  She stays active in the Dallas area as a  photographer, videographer, writer, and middle school teacher.

 

 

We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord , and his might, and the wonders that he has done.

Psalm 78:4 (ESV)

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PASSING YOUR FAITH TO THE NEXT GENERATION

 

 

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Kelly Skelton is a Georgia native, raised in the south on Jesus, Georgia football and sweet tea.  She is her husbands’ biggest fan and her two daughters’ loudest cheerleaders.  She recently published her first children’s book titled, But God Had a Plan.  She stays active in the Dallas area as a  photographer, videographer, writer, and middle school teacher.

 

Then he said, “Oh let not the Lord be angry, and I will speak again but this once. Suppose ten are found there.” He answered, “For the sake of ten I will not destroy it.”

Genesis 18:32 (ESV)

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PLEADING BOLD PRAYERS

 

 

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Kelly Skelton is a Georgia native, raised in the south on Jesus, Georgia football and sweet tea.  She is her husbands’ biggest fan and her two daughters’ loudest cheerleaders.  She recently published her first children’s book titled, But God Had a Plan.  She stays active in the Dallas area as a  photographer, videographer, writer, and middle school teacher.

 

He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.”

Mark 16:15 (NIV)

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HAVING A HEART FOR YOUR COMMUNITY

 

 

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Kelly Skelton is a Georgia native, raised in the south on Jesus, Georgia football and sweet tea.  She is her husbands’ biggest fan and her two daughters’ loudest cheerleaders.  She recently published her first children’s book titled, But God Had a Plan.  She stays active in the Dallas area as a  photographer, videographer, writer, and middle school teacher.

 

Train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6 (ESV)

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RAISING KIDS IN A SIN-SOAKED WORLD

 

Being a mom is one of my most treasured titles. Having the responsibility to teach two little growing girls about Jesus is something that I do not take lightly. When they were young, it seemed easy. It was all picture books, Bible stories, and coloring sheets. Now, as they have entered their teens, helping them chase after Jesus looks drastically different. It has now become more intentional conversations about how the world says one thing, but we believe another. It’s telling them, “I don’t know how to explain to you that bad things happen to good people. I don’t know how to explain to you why cancer can come back. I don’t understand why people are trafficked. I don’t understand how drugs can be so prevalent, how so many inappropriate things can just be looming outside our four walls.”

When you truly look at the state of the world we are raising our children in, it’s heartbreaking. I miss my childhood days when we fearlessly stayed outside playing capture the flag until the street lights came on and it was time for dinner. I miss the days when we could ride our bikes to school and didn’t fear locking the door right behind us. Now, I find myself constantly trying to lock out and block out the world. From the internet to social media, video games, and books, the world is chasing after our time, our minds, and our souls, and it is saturated in sin.

I want better for my children, for my future grandchildren, and for your children. In order for us to change the community around us, God tells us to train up our own children. Help set their firm foundation in Him. Lead by example; let them see us searching for the answers to life’s problems in the Bible. Let them hear us praying for help, guidance, and protection. Show them what it looks like to exude kindness to others, to be intently present. Show them how to be the light in the middle of the darkness.

If we want to change the current state of our world, a great place to start is by showing our kids how to be like Jesus in our community.

I pray, as you take on this Monday and start your week, that you think about your community. That you pray intently for God to give you wisdom on how you can make an impact and change the story.

 

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Kelly Skelton is a Georgia native, raised in the south on Jesus, Georgia football and sweet tea.  She is her husbands’ biggest fan and her two daughters’ loudest cheerleaders.  She recently published her first children’s book titled, But God Had a Plan.  She stays active in the Dallas area as a  photographer, videographer, writer, and middle school teacher.

 

⁸ Abraham said, “God will provide for himself the lamb for a burnt offering, my son.”

Genesis 22:8 (ESV)

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THE BETTER ISAAC

 

Our country is filled with some incredible signs. Many people will hike up Mount Lee to get close to the Hollywood sign. Anybody traveling through Chicago will take a detour to be photographed in front of the Wrigley Field sign. Then there is the world-renowned sign right in our backyard… the Varsity V sign. Each of these signs are iconic and tell a story, but the story isn’t about the sign. You visit the Hollywood sign to commemorate your trip out to L.A. You take a picture in front of Wrigley Field to show that you saw the Cubs play ball. You take picture of the Varsity V because you have been inspired by some of the kindest words you’ll ever hear, “What’ll you have?”

 

Now let me ask you. What makes these signs so special? Is it the branding or graphic design? Is it the location? Is it the lighting at these locations? No! The sign gains its significance from the object that it points to.

 

Throughout the Old Testament there are many examples of great people, but time and time again their main role was to be a sign pointing to the Messiah that was to come! We can easily get caught up in the faith walked out by these Old Testament heroes, but if you were to interview them today, they would all say that it wasn’t about them. They were just here to point to Jesus.

 

The story of Abraham and Isaac is one of the clearest examples of an Old Testament story foreshadowing what was to come. Let’s review!

 

In this story we see a father being willing to sacrifice his only son whom he loves. This son was the fulfillment to a long-awaited promise. We see the son being willing to carry the wood for the sacrifice up the mountain. The son is then willing placed on the wood without a fight in full submission. There is a confidence that the son will be raised from the dead after the sacrifice. We even see that on the third day the son is delivered.

 

Now let me ask you… as you read that paragraph did you read that through the lens of Abraham and Isaac, or God the Father and God the Son? If you did the former, go back and read it again! The story of Abraham and Isaac was meant to be a sign for us to see the fulfillment of the sacrifice that would come through Jesus.

 

Jesus is the lamb provided on our behalf! It was our sin that caused him to come to this world. It was our sin that placed the cross on his back. It was our sin that caused him to be sacrificed. But it was our God who willingly came. It was our God who willing bore the cross. It was our God who gave of His life to be delivered on the third day.

 

If you have never trusted in God before, cry out to Him today! He is the One who can meet your sin with His love, mercy, and grace! He has already willingly given Himself and defeated sin and death so that you can have right relationships with Him. All you have to do is believe and trust in Him!

 

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Sellers Hickman serves as College Pastor at NorthStar Church and loves cheering on his Ole Miss Rebels. He and his wife, Hannah, live in Dallas, Ga. with their one year old, Emery. He also serves as the chaplain for the KSU Men’s Basketball team.