Digging Deeper – Deal with Conflict Quickly

Jesus concludes this section in Matthew with a simple but powerful command: deal with conflict quickly.

Most people know from experience that conflict rarely gets better when ignored. Hurt feelings do not usually disappear on their own. Misunderstandings often grow larger with time. That is why Jesus urges immediate action.

The context of His illustration involves two people on their way to court. Jesus’ point is not merely about legal disputes. He is teaching a larger spiritual principle: Address problems before they become bigger problems. Pursue peace before division becomes permanent. Seek reconciliation before bitterness takes deeper root.

Many people assume that time heals all wounds. While time can help bring perspective, time alone rarely heals relational wounds. In fact, unresolved conflict often becomes more painful the longer it is ignored.

The writer of Hebrews warns us:

“Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.” (Hebrews 12:15, NLT)

Notice that bitterness never affects only one person. Like a poisonous root, it spreads. It impacts marriages, friendships, families, churches, and even future generations. What begins as a small offense can eventually become a major division.

The Apostle Paul also gives this instruction:

“And don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.” (Ephesians 4:26–27, NLT)

Paul understood what Jesus was teaching. Anger that lingers creates opportunities for greater damage. The longer we hold onto it, the more influence it gains over our thoughts, attitudes, and actions. Peacemaking is not passive. It requires intentional effort, humility, courage, and grace.

There were two brothers who farmed neighboring properties. For years, they worked side by side and enjoyed a close relationship. Then a disagreement arose over a piece of land. Harsh words were exchanged, and eventually they stopped speaking altogether. Months passed. The distance between them grew. What started as a relatively small disagreement became a deep divide.

One day, a traveling carpenter stopped by and asked for work. One brother pointed toward the creek separating the properties and said, “I never want to see my brother again. Build me a fence.”

The carpenter agreed.

When the work was finished, the farmer was shocked. Instead of building a fence, the carpenter had built a bridge. As the farmer stood there staring at the bridge, he saw his brother walking toward him from the other side. Both men met in the middle, embraced, and restored a relationship that pride had nearly destroyed.

Every day we choose whether to build fences or bridges. Jesus calls His followers to be bridge builders.

The gospel itself is the greatest example of reconciliation. Our sin created a separation between us and God. Yet instead of abandoning us, God sent His Son to build a bridge through the cross. Jesus reconciled us to God at great personal cost.

Because we have received reconciliation, we are called to pursue reconciliation.

Because Jesus reconciled us to God, we can pursue reconciliation with others.

Have you been building a fence or a bridge in a difficult relationship? What step can you take this week to pursue peace?