Digging Deeper: Submit to One Another
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you[a] of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
1 Peter 3:1-7 (NLT)
SUBMIT TO ONE ANOTHER
Having the opportunity to write for the Digging Deeper team is an honor and a responsibility that I do not take lightly. When I saw that my topic was marriage, along with some very important scripture about it, I felt intimidated by the task of addressing it.
So, I decided to ask someone more studied and credentialed to offer some insight. Daniel Hoover, who served on staff at Northstar for nearly two decades, founded and leads a ministry called The Marriage Adventure with his wife, Bonnie. Who better to ask for help than him? Daniel kindly agreed to provide some insight and will be featured several times this week.
In 1 Peter, chapter three, wives are called to submit to their husbands (v. 5), and husbands are called to honor their wives (v. 7). Similarly, Paul references the idea of spousal submission in Ephesians when he says wives should submit to their husbands as the church submits to Christ (Eph. 5:24), while husbands should love their wives as they love themselves (5:28).
So, what does biblical submission look like practically?
“Paul commands us all to ‘Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ,’” said Hoover, referencing Ephesians 5:21. “As Christians, we are to submit to each other. This means that we should think of the other person first, or before ourselves, yielding to each other when possible. Paul is addressing all believers, regardless of gender or socioeconomic status, in this verse. Then, in verse 22, he narrows his focus to marriage.”
This point is significant: we are to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. It only makes sense that this concept would carry over into marriage. Additionally, the original audience for Paul’s and Peter’s teachings would have been dramatically different from today’s.
“In that time, women were viewed as property,” Hoover said. “It was understood that a woman was supposed to submit to any and every man. However, Paul was saying that a woman isn’t to submit to every man. Women aren’t lesser than men. He was saying to submit only to your own husband. This is also the understanding Peter displays in 1 Peter 3:1. This was incredibly liberating for women in that day; it actually lifted women up from public oppression.”
This idea of submission is a continuation of the death to self that we endure as believers. In the confines of marriage, placing the needs of your partner ahead of your own is a noble pursuit. However, Daniel wanted to emphasize one important distinction:
“It’s also important to note that when these passages talk about submission, we aren’t commanded to submit to one another’s sin,” said Hoover. “Colossians 3:18 says, ‘Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.’ Wives have a higher authority than their husband, and that is Christ the Lord. We should always remember that a husband is a servant leader, not a tyrannical ruler.”
May we each strive to out-serve one another, as is fitting to the Lord, each day!
Lee Wilson and his wife, Deanna, have been NorthStar Church members since 2010. They are parents to Everett, Henry and Roselyn. Lee is passionate about sports (Go Braves, Go Dawgs) and has the pleasure to serve on the worship team as a bassist.