When Love Grows Cold

Picture this. It’s the second week of preseason, and there’s a player who is consistently showing up five minutes late to every workout. You’ve seen enough and had enough. In your mind, he’s lazy, he’s not coachable, not disciplined, and he’s a distraction. You’ve already written his story. Then a week passes, and his mom stops you in the parking lot and tells you he’s been getting both of his younger sisters to school before he heads to workouts because his father is in the hospital battling pneumonia. Suddenly, the story changes, and so does how you see him.

In a similar way, that’s what Jesus is doing in Luke 7. He’s at dinner with a Pharisee named Simon when a woman with a bad reputation walks in. She’s weeping. She pours perfume on His feet and wipes them with her hair. Simon watches and thinks, “If this man were a prophet, he’d know what kind of woman this is.” Simon sees her label, not her.

So how do we guard against our love for others becoming cold and callous?

1. Stop Playing the Critic

Where do you land right now? More critical or more compassionate? Do you have a critical spirit? I’m reminded: being a constant critic can become an easy entry point for sin to sow seeds of division.

2. Lay Down Your Comparisons

Jesus tells Simon about two men in debt, one owing a lot and one owing a little. Neither could pay, and both were forgiven. Simon thought he was the fifty-coin guy and she was the five-hundred. But nobody at that table could pay it back. Don’t get caught in the comparison game. Coach each of your players as who they are and what they can become.

3. Drink From His Fountain of Grace

Jesus told her, “Your sins are forgiven. Go in peace.” Her love was warm because she knew how much she’d been forgiven. Lamentations 3 reminds us, “His mercies are new every morning.” Allow grace to be a staple in your life personally — and as a coach. You’ve been forgiven; now forgive others.

Listen Closely—

When our love grows cold, it’s usually because we have started judging instead of remembering. You judge the players, the parents, and even yourself. However, when you remember how much you’ve been forgiven, you will stop keeping score and start seeing your players and people the way Jesus sees them. So before you walk into practice today, take a minute, drink deep, and let grace warm you back up.