NorthStar Church Blog

I am a fan of Peter’s. My small group has heard me say that Peter is my Bible boyfriend! My favorite thing about him is that he has done something no one else but Jesus has—Peter walked on water! (Matthew 14:28-30) That is amazing, but as we heard in our message this week, Peter also denied knowing Jesus—not just once, but three times. After the third time, Peter hears a rooster crow and remembers that Jesus had told him this would happen (Matthew 26:31-35). It is hard to imagine how disillusioned and discouraged Peter must have felt at that moment. Matthew 26 closes with Peter leaving the courtyard, weeping bitterly. He was devastated.

Thankfully, scripture gives us more of Peter’s story. In Acts 2, we find Peter preaching and sharing the Gospel. Verse 41 says, “So those who accepted his message were baptized, and that day about three thousand people were added to them.” In Acts 3, Peter and John are going to the temple to pray. A lame man stops them and asks for money. Peter responds, “I don’t have silver or gold, but what I do have, I give you: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, get up and walk!” They help the man get up, and he enters the temple with them, praising God. Peter performs a miracle—the first one recorded in scripture after Jesus’ ascension.

Yes, Peter sinned and denied Christ, but God still used him mightily. Like Peter, whatever has you disillusioned has not disqualified you from God’s kingdom. Ask God to give you the strength to stand firm in your faith and the courage to embrace His forgiveness and transform your life for His glory.

Praying scripture is one of the most powerful ways we can ask God to help us. David, another Bible hero, wrote Psalm 51 after he was caught in sin and disillusioned with himself. Take a little time today and pray these verses over yourself:

“Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
so that sinners will turn back to you.”
—Psalm 51:10-13

A couple of months ago, I attended a conference where one of the speakers talked about Jonah’s story in the Bible. My mind immediately rattled off these few bullet points:

• God asked Jonah to go to Nineveh and share the gospel.
• Jonah got on a boat headed in the opposite direction.
• A storm came up, and Jonah was thrown overboard.
• A big fish swallowed Jonah for three days and then spit him out.
• Jonah went to Nineveh, and the people believed God.

The speaker outlined many of the same points, and we all laughed at how we had probably remembered the same Sunday School lesson! However, there were two parts to Jonah’s story that we had not recalled.

First, Jonah 1:3 says, “Jonah got up to flee to Tarshish from the Lord’s presence.” The Lord had barely finished speaking, and Jonah decided to disobey. Secondly, the Lord sent a storm, and while everyone else panicked, Jonah slept. The scripture says, “Meanwhile, Jonah had gone down to the lowest part of the vessel and had stretched out and fallen into a deep sleep” (Jonah 1:5).

When we underestimate the deception of sin, we can forget who we know God to be. Jonah was a prophet and knew that God is omnipresent—everywhere, all the time. Yet Jonah tried to flee from Him. Further, no matter how comfortable we become in our sin, God’s desire for our redemption does not change: “For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, in His grace, freely makes us right in His sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when He freed us from the penalty for our sins” (Romans 3:23-24).

In our focus verses today, James reminds us that sin’s deception is a spiral that leads to death. If you find yourself caught up in sin that has disillusioned you, I pray that you would ask God for strength to pursue godliness and righteousness. And may you remember that He is a good Father, ever present, watching over you.

In a recent conversation with a young adult, they talked about taking a break from social media and setting boundaries for how they would return. When I asked why, their response surprised me. They admitted to mindlessly scrolling, wasting tons of time, and “losing brain cells.” The most surprising part was that they realized how much they had been buying products based on influencers’ recommendations—things they neither needed nor wanted, which are now being donated. As we parted, they shared some good news: they now have time to focus on the spiritual disciplines they have been learning about in their small group! The self-awareness and humility in their story are both refreshing and convicting.

My young friend was practicing what Paul encourages all of us to do in Romans. Being honest and using sober judgment to see ourselves as God sees us is key to avoiding disillusionment. Paul urges us not to be arrogant and to recognize our worth and abilities in light of God’s grace. He practices this humility and self-awareness in writing to Timothy, declaring himself the worst among sinners (1 Timothy 1:15). Paul understood that any ability he had was a result of God’s grace, not his own merit.

Charles Spurgeon says of Paul’s declaration: “This godly sensitivity toward sin was associated in the apostle’s mind with an equally vivid sense of the freeness and richness of divine grace.” He adds, “The people who are most clear in their witness that salvation is by grace are also the people for whom sin is exceedingly sinful.”

Living with self-awareness and humility helps create a right view of who we are in Christ. Like my young friend, we will stop the mindless scrolling and empty purchases, making space for time with God, prayer, and serving others. Disillusionment with ourselves over sin will turn to repentance and living in the power of the cross and Christ’s forgiveness.

Yesterday, I mentioned that I am following The Bible Recap plan to read through the Bible chronologically this year. So far, the reading has included the story of creation, the Fall, and Job’s story. Already, I am noticing how humanity becomes disillusioned with itself.

In Genesis 3, Adam and Eve sin and hide from God. God comes to find them in the evening and asks, “Where are you?” Adam replies, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.” (Genesis 3:10). Adam is disillusioned with himself because of his disobedience. Now, he fears God, his Creator, and feels shame over his physical body.

Job’s story spans 42 chapters, with the Lord describing Job to Satan as “…the finest man in all the earth. He is blameless—a man of complete integrity. He fears God and stays away from evil.” (Job 1:8). Satan argues that Job only fears God because he is blessed. God then allows Satan to have authority over Job’s possessions and, eventually, his body—but not his life. Job experiences immeasurable loss and suffering, and his body becomes covered with boils to the point of being barely recognizable. Throughout all of Satan’s attacks, we read that Job does not sin (Job 1:22, 2:10).

In Chapter 3, Job’s disillusionment begins as he curses the day he was born and engages in a long discourse with three friends. Eventually, they grow tired of the back-and-forth and leave Job. A younger man, Elihu, arrives and becomes angry because Job justified himself rather than God. Elihu delivers another lengthy speech, after which the Lord Himself replies and reminds Job of who He is. Job responds to God, “I know you can do anything, and no one can stop you.” (Job 42:2).

Job forgot who God is and assumed his life was not valuable. God reminds him that He is the Creator, Sovereign, and Omnipotent. That truth did not change just because Job’s life was in turmoil. In the end, God restores Job’s life, family, and possessions—greater than before.

My prayer for us today is that, whether our disillusionment stems from disobedience or God’s allowance, we remember who God is and that His love endures forever.

Like me, you may be wondering what it means to be disillusioned with yourself. Merriam-Webster defines “disillusioned” as “having lost faith or trust in something formerly regarded as good or valuable; the condition of being dissatisfied or defeated in expectation or hope.”

We have just turned the page and started a brand-new year: 2025. Many of us resolved to do something—eat better, exercise more, limit screen time, or read through the Bible. At some point, I have made resolutions to do all those things, only to quit before the end of January! Year after year, the disillusionment with myself is palpable as disappointment sets in and my hope of staying the course is lost. Those resolutions are all good and helpful things, so why couldn’t I do it? One thing I know is that I started each of those decisions totally depending on myself to succeed, with motives that were self-centered. However, this year, 2025, I challenged myself a bit differently.

The Bible Recap is a resource I often refer to when studying the Bible or writing devotionals. It is a yearly Bible reading plan that follows the Word chronologically. The creator, Tara-Leigh Cobble, also provides a brief recap of each day’s reading. Several friends followed the plan in 2024, and admittedly, I was jealous when they posted a celebratory graphic on social media on the last day of the year saying, “Congratulations from The Bible Recap for successfully completing the plan.” It was frustrating that another year had passed and I had yet to read the Bible through from beginning to end. My attitude began to improve, though, as so many of them posted their excitement to start again on January 1, 2025!

Sunday’s message reminded us that we need to admit where we need help to overcome our disillusionment. That is exactly what I did as I determined to begin The Bible Recap plan myself. I asked a couple of friends to hold me accountable, and they not only agreed but also joined me on the plan. Twenty days in, and we are going strong!

I am praying that you know it is never too late to make a change, to start over, or to forgive yourself. Start by asking God to help you, and then gather some friends who will encourage, support, and pray for you.