NorthStar Church Blog

³⁶ “When Sarah, my master’s wife, was very old, she gave birth to my master’s son, and my master has given him everything he owns. ³⁷ And my master made me take an oath. He said, ‘Do not allow my son to marry one of these local Canaanite women. ³⁸ Go instead to my father’s house, to my relatives, and find a wife there for my son.’

⁴² “So today when I came to the spring, I prayed this prayer: ‘O Lord, God of my master, Abraham, please give me success on this mission. ⁴³ See, I am standing here beside this spring. This is my request. When a young woman comes to draw water, I will say to her, “Please give me a little drink of water from your jug.” ⁴⁴ If she says, “Yes, have a drink, and I will draw water for your camels, too,” let her be the one you have selected to be the wife of my master’s son.’

⁴⁵ “Before I had finished praying in my heart, I saw Rebekah coming out with her water jug on her shoulder. She went down to the spring and drew water. So I said to her, ‘Please give me a drink.’ ⁴⁶ She quickly lowered her jug from her shoulder and said, ‘Yes, have a drink, and I will water your camels, too!’ So I drank, and then she watered the camels.

Genesis 24:38-38; 42-46 (NLT)

IT’S NOT ABOUT US

Bridget Turner serves as the Director of Women’s Groups at NorthStar Church. She and her husband, Steve, live in Powder Springs and have two young adult children, Hannah and Joshua. She enjoys watching football, traveling and reading.

1 Abraham was now a very old man, and the Lord had blessed him in every way. 2 One day Abraham said to his oldest servant, the man in charge of his household, “Take an oath by putting your hand under my thigh. 3 Swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and earth, that you will not allow my son to marry one of these local Canaanite women. 4 Go instead to my homeland, to my relatives, and find a wife there for my son Isaac.”

Genesis 24:1-4 (NLT)

NEXT LEVEL FAITH

Bridget Turner serves as the Director of Women’s Groups at NorthStar Church. She and her husband, Steve, live in Powder Springs and have two young adult children, Hannah and Joshua. She enjoys watching football, traveling and reading.

1 Sarah lived 127 years; these were the years of the life of Sarah. 2 And Sarah died at Kiriath-arba (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan, and Abraham went in to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her.

Genesis 23:1-2  (NLT)

A LETTER FROM THE PRESIDENT

We have spent this week focusing on the difficult subject of grief, specifically how Abraham processed the passing of his wife, Sarah. I would like to talk about another Abraham, though. This man was no stranger to grief. He lost his mother when he was just a nine-year-old boy, his sister died 10 years later during childbirth, and he himself would later lose two sons to illness before they reached the age of 12. I am referring to Abraham Lincoln, one of the most well-versed people on the subject of grief in the public eye.

Lincoln’s second son, Edward, died at the age of 4 from tuberculosis. He then lost his son, Willie, to typhoid fever. Willie passed during Lincoln’s time as president in 1862. Elizabeth Keckly, a former slave who had been hired as Mrs. Lincoln’s Chief Wardrobe Designer, recounted Willie’s passing and said that Lincoln stood at the end of his bed, staring at his body moments after. She said the president stood “in silent, awe-stricken wonder…the genius and greatness weeping over love’s idol lost.”

Lincoln was no stranger to loss, in other words. It is the reason he was hesitant to let his eldest, Robert Todd Lincoln, serve during the Civil War. He was afraid he would lose him too. He eventually relented but assigned Robert as an assistant to General Grant, thereby guaranteeing he would be kept close to Grant and out of harm’s way to whatever degree possible.

It would make sense, then, for Lincoln to be a qualified grief counselor in some sense after having so much practice himself. Also in 1862, a good friend of his named William McCullough was killed in battle, further devastating Lincoln. He penned a letter to the surviving daughter of McCullough, named Fanny. In the letter, Lincoln says, “In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all; and, to the young, it comes with bitterest agony, because it takes them unawares. The older have learned to ever expect it. I am anxious to afford some alleviation of your present distress. Perfect relief is not possible, except with time.”

Lincoln’s letter echoes the lessons we have studied repeatedly this week. We will all experience trouble, and the time to process and mourn is necessary (Genesis 23:1-2); we need to accept help in our times of need and offer it to those struggling around us when we can (Galatians 6:2, Proverbs 17:17); and we are reminded by Paul to look out for each other, not just ourselves (Philippians 2:4).

When we face challenges, our task is to persevere in the faith to receive what is promised to us (Hebrews 10:36), relying on God’s word to guide us. Lincoln called the Bible “the best gift God has given to man.” So heed our weary past president’s words and cling tightly to Scripture. Our hope is in Christ, no matter what we are facing. For He told us that “…in this world you will have trouble. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

Lee Wilson and his wife, Deanna, have been NorthStar Church members since 2010. They are parents to Everett, Henry and Roselyn. Lee is passionate about sports (Go Braves, Go Dawgs) and has the pleasure to serve on the worship team as a bassist.

1 Sarah lived 127 years; these were the years of the life of Sarah. 2 And Sarah died at Kiriath-arba (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan, and Abraham went in to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her.

Genesis 23:1-2  (NLT)

WALKS TO WINKS

As we reflect on the subject of emotional turmoil and grief, we have focused on Abraham and the death of his wife, Sarah. Even though none of us ever met Abraham, many of us can relate to the story through relevant personal losses we have experienced in our lifetimes.

The first time I ever remember experiencing death’s sting was when my grandmother, “Nana,” passed away in 1999. I was 12 years old, and I knew she was sick with lung cancer. I had been given limited anecdotes from my parents about how serious it was and to enjoy the time I got to spend with her.

I remember getting called up to the front office at school out of nowhere on a cold February day and feeling so perplexed with curiosity as to why I was leaving early that day. When I rounded the corner down the hallway and saw my teary-eyed father, I immediately knew, even before he told me. She was 58 years old.

I have always felt sorrow that I did not get to experience life beyond that age with her. I remember her, but I remember her through the eyes of a 12-year-old. I remember that being the only time I ever really saw my grandfather sad. He was a man who rarely wasn’t wearing a smile, thus sorrow wasn’t a common mode for him. I am grateful to say that my grandfather (“Pop Pop” to us) lived to see me get married, and he and I developed a special bond.

My family would take vacations every summer to the Outer Banks in North Carolina, with my grandfather picking a new beach house for my family and extended family to spend a week in every summer. I was an early riser, and most mornings it would be just me and him watching the sun come up over the beach in the distance. He would take a morning walk to a little general store called “Winks” every morning and grab a newspaper before everyone woke.

So, he started inviting me to go with him. It became our thing. Every vacation, I would get up, race to the living room, and wait for him to put on a pot of coffee so it would be ready by the time we got back. We would walk the beach road or sometimes in the sand until we got to Winks, where my grandfather and his infectiously boisterous personality were well known and well liked. He seemingly knew no strangers and would always manage to say something to make someone laugh.

In those early morning conversations, sometimes he would tell me about my grandmother. I would learn things about her that I didn’t know, and he would recount stories from their younger days. He even told me that she would yell “Master Chief!” to which my grandfather, who was an actual Master Chief in the Navy, knew he had messed up and was in the doghouse. We would laugh at those stories.

These conversations were joyful for me, and I think cathartic at times for him. Being present for someone and listening is sometimes the best medicine we can offer when they are working out their grief. We are sure to face adversity, and we all process that differently. We have a responsibility to be there for each other, but how? Paul simply says to “rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15). If we do this, we honor the grieving and Christ alike.

Lee Wilson and his wife, Deanna, have been NorthStar Church members since 2010. They are parents to Everett, Henry and Roselyn. Lee is passionate about sports (Go Braves, Go Dawgs) and has the pleasure to serve on the worship team as a bassist.

3 And Abraham rose up from before his dead and said to the Hittites, 4“I am a sojourner and foreigner among you; give me property among you for a burying place, that I may bury my dead out of my sight.” 5 The Hittites answered Abraham, 6 “Hear us, my lord; you are a prince of God among us. Bury your dead in the choicest of our tombs. None of us will withhold from you his tomb to hinder you from burying your dead.” 7 Abraham rose and bowed to the Hittites, the people of the land. 

Genesis 23:3-7  (NLT)

HELP WINNING THE FIGHT

I have always enjoyed sports, but I have never really been into boxing. One of my brothers and my dad both love boxing, even taking trips to see major fights in person. I typically stick to baseball and college football. I do, however, enjoy a good boxing movie.

The most notable one is the Rocky collection, which happens to be my brother’s favorite movie series. Another one that I like is Million Dollar Baby, a great movie with a tragic ending. My personal favorite, though, is a movie called Cinderella Man. It stars Russell Crowe as real-life boxer James “Jimmy” Braddock.

The true story is about Braddock’s failing boxing career at the onset of the Great Depression. Braddock was fighting uninteresting matches for whatever money he could get while trying to grab work, with thousands of others, wherever he could find it. Struggling to make ends meet, Braddock suffers a broken hand and can’t fight for a period of time, hurting his ability to earn money for his family.

In a touching scene in the movie, Braddock is at his wit’s end and is trying to avoid eviction. He goes directly to Madison Square Garden offices and takes off his hat, begging for spare change and money needed to stave off eviction (roughly $35, apparently). This scene presents us with a broken and desperate man doing whatever he has to do to protect his wife and kids.

We hopefully will never experience this measure of financial or personal desperation, but if we do, it is up to us to be willing to ask for help. We are reminded over and over again in Scripture that our one true helper is the Lord (Psalm 121:2), and when those moments come, we can’t be unwilling to ask Him for help.

We are to seek counsel from others (Proverbs 12:15) and not get caught up trying to solve everything on our own. This prideful sense of not burdening others with our problems is not healthy, and a true reflection of the humility of Christ is knowing when to ask for help.

In Cinderella Man, after Braddock’s injury is healing, his former trainer and friend offers him a fight where he knows Braddock will be overmatched but says it will pay Braddock $200 if he is willing to step into the ring. Braddock responds joyously, “For $200 I would fight your mother!” and they share a laugh and an embrace.

What follows is the remarkable true story of the underdog Jim Braddock. He would go on an incredible run where he would defeat Corn Griffin, John Henry Lewis, Art Lasky, and eventually Max Baer to win the Heavyweight Championship, etching his name on the wall of the greatest sports stories ever.

This moment was born out of his desperation and his willingness to ask for and accept help. We may not always win every time we step into the ring, but if we put our faith in the right place and accept the help of those around us, we at least have a puncher’s chance.

Lee Wilson and his wife, Deanna, have been NorthStar Church members since 2010. They are parents to Everett, Henry and Roselyn. Lee is passionate about sports (Go Braves, Go Dawgs) and has the pleasure to serve on the worship team as a bassist.

7Abraham rose and bowed to the Hittites, the people of the land. 8And he said to them, “If you are willing that I should bury my dead out of my sight, hear me and entreat for me Ephron the son of Zohar, 9that he may give me the cave of Machpelah, which he owns; it is at the end of his field. For the full price let him give it to me in your presence as property for a burying place.”

10Now Ephron was sitting among the Hittites, and Ephron the Hittite answered Abraham in the hearing of the Hittites, of all who went in at the gate of his city, 11“No, my lord, hear me: I give you the field, and I give you the cave that is in it. In the sight of the sons of my people I give it to you. Bury your dead.” 12Then Abraham bowed down before the people of the land. 13And he said to Ephron in the hearing of the people of the land, “But if you will, hear me: I give the price of the field. Accept it from me, that I may bury my dead there.” 14Ephron answered Abraham, 15“My lord, listen to me: a piece of land worth four hundred shekels of silver, what is that between you and me? Bury your dead.” 16Abraham listened to Ephron, and Abraham weighed out for Ephron the silver that he had named in the hearing of the Hittites, four hundred shekels of silver, according to the weights current among the merchants.

Genesis 23:7-16  (NLT)

BEAR EACH OTHER’S BURDENS

When we experience pain in this world, one of the only remedies is the company of those who care for us. If a relative or friend passes away, or if you lose a job or are on the brink of divorce, the company and counsel of godly people is required. When Abraham lost Sarah, he decided he wanted to belong to the community instead of just living on the outskirts. As we learn, he goes to speak with the Hittites and openly calls himself a “sojourner and foreigner among you” (Gen. 23:4). Abraham then asked to buy a plot of land to bury his beloved wife.

The story gets a bit perplexing in modern terms at this point because the locals are seemingly gracious to him and offer free burial plots and caves for him to use. Yet Abraham is not satisfied and insists upon buying a place for burial. Overhearing this insistence, Ephron enters the fray and again tries to offer free land to Abraham, but he refuses. After Ephron lists the price as 400 shekels of silver, Abraham carefully measures out and pays the fee in front of everyone, and the land was sold to Abraham. The puzzling nature of this transaction can be explained like this: Abraham wanted to be a land-owning member of the community. He no longer sought to live on the fringes and have to “borrow” free space to bury his wife.

By doing this, Abraham honored the long-term residents with an open and honest business transaction in public, ingratiating himself to them and adhering to cultural norms of the time. He wanted to belong to the community. When we are in search of relief in our most challenging moments, we must rely on the community that we belong to, underscoring the importance of finding this community for ourselves and our families. Paul reminds us that when we are in moments of affliction, we are to “Bear each other’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2).

If we can find our place in our community, like Abraham did, and commit to bearing one another’s burdens, the responsibility then comes to us to accept the help of those around us when our time of need comes. When my daughter passed away, my wife and I drove home from the hospital, exhausted with grief, and slept hard. The next morning, I pried myself out of bed and began to think about arranging a funeral and speaking with family that would be coming into town. Then, around 8 a.m., I had a knock at my door.

It was my friend and our small group leader, Mike Lindeman. He had several boxes of donuts and coffee. He leaned in my front door, gave me a hug, and left me with breakfast. He spent maybe two minutes there before going on his way, saying he just wanted to offer some food because he figured we would have company that day. I remember Mike telling me during that time that it was important to accept help because those around us who cared wanted desperately to help, and we should let them. It meant a lot to me, and it’s a lesson I never forgot. When we find our community or our small group and bear each other’s burdens, we honor God. Give help when you can, but also gladly accept the support of others when it is offered.

Lee Wilson and his wife, Deanna, have been NorthStar Church members since 2010. They are parents to Everett, Henry and Roselyn. Lee is passionate about sports (Go Braves, Go Dawgs) and has the pleasure to serve on the worship team as a bassist.

1 Sarah lived 127 years; these were the years of the life of Sarah. 2And Sarah died at Kiriath-arba (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan, and Abraham went in to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her.

Abraham buried Sarah his wife in the cave of the field of Machpelah east of Mamre (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan. 20The field and the cave that is in it were made over to Abraham as property for a burying place by the Hittites.

Genesis 23:1-2, 19-20  (NLT)

A UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE

This week, we get to discuss the universal language of grief. There isn’t a person alive who hasn’t felt the painful sting caused by death and experienced the emotional emptiness that it can bring. In fact, as I write this, I have just come from a funeral service for my neighbor. He was in his early 40s with no health complications, and one day got an internal infection out of nowhere and shortly after went home to be with the Lord. He leaves behind his wife and a precious 5-year-old little girl.

Sitting through his service and watching the slideshow of pictures was emotional. We keep pictures from the pinnacle moments in our lives, the moments where we experienced the most joy and the most fun. I saw pictures of him with his family and friends, but the ones that tugged at my heart were the ones of him with his little girl.

The moments of pain and sorrow felt today are only a glimpse of what this family will endure in their life from here on out. Every birthday, Christmas, and joyous moment will always be slightly dimmed by the absence of someone we wish was still there. Yet, in time, we are able to process and accept the pain, and it can become a constructive part of our journey.

We visited Abraham in the middle of his grief this week. After his beloved Sarah passed into eternity, Abraham went in to “mourn and weep for her” (Gen. 23:1-2). Taking the time to grieve is a necessary component for anyone experiencing loss, but it isn’t the same for all of us. From various medical sources, there is no specific time that it takes somebody to grieve. Some say it could take a year, maybe two, but a lot of it is unique to each situation.

The reality is, when we experience loss, a part of us is from that point gone. My daughter was born and passed away in October 2013. Every single day that I am alive, I feel a hole in my heart because of her absence. I won’t get that piece of my heart back until I see her again in eternity. I feel most people who have experienced meaningful loss can relate to that sentiment. Yet, when we experience the loss that only eternity can fill, we must go to the keeper of eternity’s gates to find purpose and hope in our despair.

David was no stranger to pain and grief, and in the Psalms, we sometimes get expressions of the raw emotions he experienced. In Psalm 13, David has a short yet piercing reflection we can relate to—he felt forgotten and wondered if God was there, but he perseveres in hope. It is only six verses:

1 How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
3 Consider and answer me, O LORD my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
4 lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,” lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.
5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the LORD, because he has dealt bountifully with me.

Even in a dark moment of doubt, David holds tightly to the Lord’s steadfast love. When we are shaken with grief and facing moments of doubt, we must remember that the Lord will deal “bountifully” with us, too, and cling tightly to His steadfast love.

Lee Wilson and his wife, Deanna, have been NorthStar Church members since 2010. They are parents to Everett, Henry and Roselyn. Lee is passionate about sports (Go Braves, Go Dawgs) and has the pleasure to serve on the worship team as a bassist.

Matthew 5:14 (ESV)

MAKE HEAVEN CROWDED

Kelly Skelton is a Georgia native, raised in the south on Jesus, Georgia football and sweet tea.  She is her husbands’ biggest fan and her two daughters’ loudest cheerleaders.  She recently published her first children’s book titled, But God Had a Plan.  She stays active in the Dallas area as a  photographer, videographer, writer, and middle school teacher.

Psalm 78:4 (ESV)

PASSING YOUR FAITH TO THE NEXT GENERATION

Kelly Skelton is a Georgia native, raised in the south on Jesus, Georgia football and sweet tea.  She is her husbands’ biggest fan and her two daughters’ loudest cheerleaders.  She recently published her first children’s book titled, But God Had a Plan.  She stays active in the Dallas area as a  photographer, videographer, writer, and middle school teacher.