Digging Deeper – One Antidote to Impatience
12 and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us…
14 “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins
Matthew 6:12, 14-15 (NLT)
ONE ANTIDOTE TO IMPATIENCE
We’ve been wrestling with patience and long-suffering this week, and it occurred to me that we often endure these epic struggles far longer than God ever intends. The culprit: unforgiveness.
I journeyed through this topic with my men’s small group a couple years ago, and it was a doozie. Using R.T. Kendall’s Total Forgiveness as our guide, we clashed head-on with this universal struggle and had some memorable – and occasionally fiery – exchanges along the way. Some guys in the group had been dealing with deep hurt that had held them captive for decades. Others carried bitterness and resentment with them because of excruciating pain they had endured as a result of another’s choices.
Kendall shared candidly in his book that he sought the counsel of a trusted friend when he, too, was amid a trial. He confided in someone far removed from the situation – someone who lived in another country, in fact. Hoping to draw a sympathetic ear, Kendall shared the details with his friend.
“Is that all?” the friend asked.
“Yes, that’s it,” Kendall replied.
“You must totally forgive them,” the friend stated.
“I can’t,” said Kendall.
“You can, and you must,” the friend insisted.
Perhaps you get a bit agitated when you read this exchange. After all, Kendall had been wronged and was grieving over it. Certainly, he is justified in his bitterness and resentment!
In the flesh? Absolutely. As a follower of Jesus Christ – quite the contrary!
The Lord’s Prayer even addresses this. Perhaps you recite it from rote memory, and you miss the clear message Jesus shared on this very issue. Take another moment to read the words above from Matthew 6:12, 14-15.
We are asking God to forgive our sins AS WE FORGIVE others’ sins against us! And, if that isn’t enough, Jesus says our Heavenly Father will forgive us to the extent we choose to offer forgiveness to others. It goes both ways!
Not to be confused, Jesus isn’t talking about revoking our salvation if we don’t forgive. What he is saying, however, is that our relationship with God will be broken if we don’t offer forgiveness. Likewise, our relationship with Him is restored when we choose to forgive and place it at His feet.
Does forgiveness always remove the hurt? Of course not. But it prevents us from compounding that hurt by holding ourselves hostage through bitterness, rage, and resentment.
Kendall shares, “Having been on both sides, I can tell you: the peace is better; the bitterness isn’t worth it.”
When we place it in God’s hands, and make the conscious (yet difficult) decision to forgive, we are set free!
C.A. Phillips serves as Communications Pastor and Director of Men’s Groups at NorthStar Church. He is a graduate of the Henry W. Grady School of Journalism at the University of Georgia, and he loves the Dawgs and the Atlanta Braves. He has two (grown) boys and lives in Kennesaw with his wife, Amy, and their German Shepherd, Abby.
