Digging Deeper – Forgive and Be Forgiven
So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
Matthew 5:23-24
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Matthew 6:14-15
DEEDS NOT WORDS
Today, as we approach the act of forgiveness, I see this more as a reminder than a new idea. We all know, logically, that holding on to past grievances doesn’t impact the person who committed them nearly as much as it affects our own lives. Refusing to forgive keeps us stuck in the moment of the hurt, while the other person is probably not even thinking about it.
For that very reason, I think Matthew 5:23–24 is so thought-provoking. It is easy for us to forget the things we’ve done to others, but in this passage Jesus tells us to be mindful of what others might have against us. That is not at all how we usually think. Thinking this way requires intentional self-evaluation. As we looked at earlier in the week, we tend to judge ourselves by our intentions. So when we realize that someone has something against us, it’s easy to excuse our actions by saying what we did “wasn’t that bad” and that the person holding it against us is the one in the wrong. But these verses don’t take right and wrong into account at all. Jesus is only talking about the fractured relationship—and He says it’s on us to try to fix it before we point our hearts heavenward. He is pointing us back to the “Love God, Love People” command. He is reminding us of the connection between our relationships with others and our relationship with God.
Then Matthew 6 reinforces that same connection. If we want to have a right and forgiving relationship with God, we must cultivate that same kind of relationship with the people around us.
We all know we need God’s forgiveness, but sometimes we also feel like we need to forgive God. Not because He has wronged us—He hasn’t—but because in our pain, disappointment, or waiting, it can feel that way. I know I’ve had times when I consciously or unconsciously felt God wasn’t treating me fairly. I was waiting for an answer or struggling through a painful season, and I didn’t like it. Forgiveness, even in this sense, is a choice: to let go of that ill feeling (whether justified or not) and move forward in trust.
Take a moment and evaluate your own life. Are there people you need to forgive? Are there people you need to ask for forgiveness? Are there areas of your life where you need God’s forgiveness? Are there places where you are holding a grudge against Him? Ask God to reveal those things to you, and take time today to make them right.
Chris Boggess is the Next Generation/Family Pastor at NorthStar Church. He grew up in St. Albans, West Virginia, and still cheers for the Mountaineers. He and his wife, Heather, have two grown children and one granddaughter.