Digging Deeper – An Antidote to Worry and Fear

Avatar photo C.A. Phillips on October 29, 2024


So don’t worry or be afraid of their threats. 15 Instead, you must worship Christ as Lord of your life.

1 Peter 3:14b-15 (NLT)

 

AN ANTIDOTE TO WORRY AND FEAR

 

When I read Peter’s letters, this thought occasionally occurs to me: “He makes it sound so easy!”

The phrase “fear not” appears more than 70 times in Scripture, with the words “fear” or “afraid” appearing more than 200 times. This apparently was—and continues to be—a topic that bears repeating for all of us. We need constant reminders that our enemy is at work to discourage us, but that we have no true reason to fear when we are living in fellowship with the Lord.

In Peter’s first letter, he implores early Christians under persecution to continue to fight the good fight, do good amid suffering, and remember Christ in everything. But even when we persevere and put on our game face, worry can creep in—especially when your life is being threatened for your faith!

In America, we rarely, if ever, face the type of persecution these early believers suffered. But we still face threats—very real ones. And it’s so easy to focus on the “what ifs” and prematurely fill in the blanks on a story God hasn’t finished yet, instead of fixing our gaze on Jesus—the One who holds us in His hands.

The Apostle Paul wrote several letters to early churches to remind them who they were in Christ. In Philippians, he encouraged believers to combat worry through prayer:

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7, NLT)

While it makes perfect sense to PRAY instead of WORRYING, it’s tough to let go of worry altogether. Perhaps that’s why Peter offers us another antidote to worry and fear: he tells us to WORSHIP Christ instead of focusing on the threats against us. When Christ becomes the object of our affection and attention, worry, doubt, anxiety, and fear begin to fade away. By baring our soul to the Lord through worship, we lay our problems at His feet and surrender control to Him. This breaks the chains of discouragement and gives us freedom from the emotional prison we’ve been locked in!

 

C.A. Phillips serves as Communications Pastor and Director of Men’s Groups at NorthStar Church. He is a graduate of the Henry W. Grady School of Journalism at the University of Georgia, and he loves the Dawgs and the Atlanta Braves. He has two (grown) boys and lives in Kennesaw with his wife, Amy, and their German Shepherd, Abby.

Digging Deeper – God Meant it for Good

Avatar photo C.A. Phillips on October 28, 2024


13 Now, who will want to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14 But even if you suffer for doing what is right, God will reward you for it. So don’t worry or be afraid of their threats.

1 Peter 3:13 (NLT)

 

GOD MEANT IT FOR GOOD

 

Have you ever read the story of Joseph in Genesis? If not, perhaps you’ve seen the Broadway musical Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. If you’re not familiar with this epic story, it’s worth your time to read Genesis 37-50.

In a nutshell, Joseph was the favored son of Jacob (whom God renamed Israel after Jacob wrestled with Him all night and didn’t relent). Joseph had 11 brothers, 10 of whom were older than him—and nine of those brothers made the decision to sell Joseph to foreigners as a slave. They then told Jacob that Joseph had been mauled by a wild animal.

Meanwhile, Joseph was sold to Potiphar, the captain of the Egyptian guard. Joseph served Potiphar well and honored the Lord in how he handled his responsibilities. As a result, Potiphar’s household thrived—that is, until Potiphar’s wife began to lust after Joseph. He refused her numerous advances, and she became so offended that she accused him of raping her. Potiphar threw Joseph in prison, where he remained for years.

Yet the Lord was with Joseph in prison. He was a model inmate, and because of God’s favor, the prison warden came to fully trust Joseph and ultimately put him in charge of all the prisoners. There, Joseph met two men who were also imprisoned: one was Pharaoh’s cupbearer, and the other was the chief baker. Both had dreams and needed help understanding their meanings. Joseph interpreted their dreams and asked them to remember him when they were released. They didn’t—at least, not for two years, until Pharaoh himself began having dreams that no one could interpret.

To make a long story short, Joseph interpreted Pharaoh’s dreams, became second in command over all of Egypt, saved the country (and perhaps the world) from a seven-year famine, and increased Egypt’s wealth. Among those he saved were his brothers—the very ones who had sold him into slavery 13 years earlier! The brothers didn’t recognize Joseph when they came to buy grain, but he remembered them. Eventually, Joseph revealed his identity to them, and they were terrified for their lives. They schemed and manipulated some details for self-preservation, but Joseph responded with kindness and grace:

“Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you? You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.” (Genesis 50:19-20, NLT)

What’s the lesson? Keep doing good. Keep honoring the Lord, no matter what harm others may try to do to you, and regardless of your circumstances. In the end, trust that God is working all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).

God meant it for good with Joseph, and it’s the same for you and me when we honor Him with our words and actions.

 

C.A. Phillips serves as Communications Pastor and Director of Men’s Groups at NorthStar Church. He is a graduate of the Henry W. Grady School of Journalism at the University of Georgia, and he loves the Dawgs and the Atlanta Braves. He has two (grown) boys and lives in Kennesaw with his wife, Amy, and their German Shepherd, Abby.

Digging Deeper: Be Blessed

Avatar photo Bridget Turner on October 25, 2024

 

Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.

1 Peter 3:9 (NLT)

 

BE BLESSED

 

As we wrap up this week, I wanted to share a family story that happened recently involving the church I grew up in. It is where I met Jesus, was baptized, and got married, along with many in my extended family. Some portion of our family had been a part of that church for over half a century until about 12 years ago. The details of the story are not mine to share, but collectively, those in the family still attending the church decided it was best for them to leave. God graciously gave them a new home church that welcomed them in and allowed them to heal. In fact, one of my cousins accepted the call to ministry shortly after making the change and has been their pastor for a few years now.

Several weeks ago, he was invited back to the original church to speak at their homecoming services. When my mom told me this, I thought I had misheard her. In addition, she and several family members were going to support him. This could only be by the grace of God because my mom was probably the most hurt and broken from all of it.

Here’s how my mom described their day: “We could not have felt more welcome and been treated any better. So many people hugged us and said how thankful they were to have us there.” They even stayed for lunch. I laughed because the original plan was to get in and get out (In case you’re not familiar with homecoming at small-town churches, there is always lunch after the service with the best food!). I have no idea what prompted the invitation, but what I do know is that God granted our family His blessing through it. Reconciliation is the sweetest gift. It is, after all, what Christ did for the church.

Obeying the words of 1 Peter 3 is not always easy. However, when we intentionally seek unity, sympathize with and love each other, and keep a tender heart and humble attitude, the desire to retaliate against someone is much less intense. Just as God was gracious to my family and brought them the blessing of healing and restoration, He will do the same for all of us as we surrender the outcome to Him. Be blessed, church.

 

Bridget Turner serves as the Director of Women’s Groups at NorthStar Church. She and her husband, Steve, live in Powder Springs and have two young adult children, Hannah and Joshua. She enjoys watching football, traveling and reading.

 

Digging Deeper: A Win-Win

Avatar photo Bridget Turner on October 24, 2024

 

Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing. For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies.
Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it.”

1 Peter 3:8-11 (NLT)

 

A WIN-WIN

 

When our children were young, we never had to teach them to defend themselves. They would argue loudly, hit, and sometimes bite to protect themselves from each other! What we did have to teach them was to be nice—to be kind no matter what. When our son was in elementary school, we signed him up to play soccer. It wasn’t very competitive but focused on teaching basic skills and teamwork. At that age, teamwork meant everyone running to wherever the ball was and kicking! During one game, my son ran off the field upset, and we told him he needed to go back and play. He replied, “Mom, they are all kicking, and it’s not very nice.” He had gotten the message but missed the context. Needless to say, soccer was not his thing.

Peter is putting into words what the church already knows is right. The constant threat of persecution had their emotions overloaded, and no doubt the flesh of every believer was battling for revenge. Nero, the emperor, seemed unstoppable as he made sport of persecuting and killing them. Given these conditions, it’s easy to understand how the church could get bogged down in misunderstandings and arguments. The Scripture is clear, though: they are not to repay evil for evil or insult for insult. Rather, they are to bless, as God has commanded them to do, and He will give them His blessing.

Blessing someone is God’s command. We should not consider whether we want to, or even if they deserve it. We talked about this very idea in my small group last week. The author Lisa Harper says, “Obedience is the fruit of gratitude.” We need to ask the Holy Spirit to tenderize our hearts so that obeying Him to bless others becomes the only option we consider. The benefit to us is receiving God’s blessing for ourselves. It truly is a win-win situation.

 

Bridget Turner serves as the Director of Women’s Groups at NorthStar Church. She and her husband, Steve, live in Powder Springs and have two young adult children, Hannah and Joshua. She enjoys watching football, traveling and reading.

 

Digging Deeper: Mercy and Humility

Avatar photo Bridget Turner on October 23, 2024

 

Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you…

1 Peter 3:8-9a (NLT)

 

MERCY AND HUMILITY

 

If you take just a few minutes to check the news, you will realize there is conflict everywhere. Story after story will pop up about wars in Israel and Ukraine, political upheaval not just in the United States but across the globe, and even disagreements on how best to handle hurricane relief efforts. While less important, let’s not forget the officiating disputes from every major sporting event that make the headlines! It can all be overwhelming and raise our anxiety levels if we spend too much time focusing on it.

As we continue in our passage this week, remember that Peter is trying to help the church stay united and focused in a very uncertain time. Today’s section, “be tenderhearted and keep a humble attitude,” appeals to what should already be part of their lives. Several commentaries describe “tenderhearted” as “pitiful, ready to show mercy.” The assumption is that if we are ready to show mercy and keep a humble attitude, we are already merciful and humble. Peter goes on to say, “Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you.”

Not sure about you, but mercy and humility are not usually how I find myself entering a disagreement. Too often, I have a mental list of counterpunches ready to justify my argument. Pride can take over quickly, and small differences become mountains that take longer to reconcile. When this happens, I know that I am trusting myself and not God. The good news is that, as a Christian, I also know I can ask God for help in prayer, through His Word, and through other believers who know my heart. More recently, while praying through a tough conversation, God led me to a new worship song called Shalom by Bridge Worship. Shalom is the Jewish word for peace, and this song reminded me that God not only wants us to live in peace but also to be at peace.

My prayer for us today is that we lean into the power of the Holy Spirit within us to be merciful and humble, living at peace with one another.

 

Bridget Turner serves as the Director of Women’s Groups at NorthStar Church. She and her husband, Steve, live in Powder Springs and have two young adult children, Hannah and Joshua. She enjoys watching football, traveling and reading.

 

Digging Deeper: Love the Church

Avatar photo Bridget Turner on October 22, 2024

 

Jesus replied, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself.” 

Matthew 22:37-39 (NLT)

 

LOVE THE CHURCH

 

Peter’s second and third instructions are to sympathize with each other and to love each other as brothers and sisters. In the beginning, he addresses his letter to the chosen ones, living as exiles and foreigners in the land. It’s important to remember that this audience is made up of people who do not necessarily know each other or even have similar lifestyles. They are Jewish and Gentile believers, living together as outsiders, both equally fearful of what each day will bring.

A few years ago, I went on a mission trip to Haiti. The country was still recovering from a massive earthquake that had displaced many families. My role on this trip was to bring a message to the ladies in the church. I struggled with what I could possibly say to give hope to those living in this third-world country. Our missions director reminded me that these women—wives and mothers—wanted the same things I did. They wanted their families to know Jesus and to be safe. They wanted their husbands to be godly and their children to have a good education. Sadly, many of them needed and wanted the basics—food, clothing, and shelter. I quickly realized that although we had very different outward circumstances, our hearts were aligned by our love for God.

The modern church is no different from the early church. We all come together with different backgrounds, education, socio-economic statuses, and political views. All that diversity can cause friction and make it hard to remember that we are more alike than not. So how do we navigate the tension of our differences? Being sympathetic and loving each other as brothers and sisters is key.

Scripture teaches us that love is patient and kind. It is not envious, boastful, arrogant, rude, self-seeking, or irritable. It keeps no record of wrongs (1 Cor. 13:4-5). My prayer for all of us today is that we remember what love is and choose to obey the greatest commandment: to love God and to love our neighbors as ourselves.

 

Bridget Turner serves as the Director of Women’s Groups at NorthStar Church. She and her husband, Steve, live in Powder Springs and have two young adult children, Hannah and Joshua. She enjoys watching football, traveling and reading.

 

Digging Deeper: Be of One Mind

Avatar photo Bridget Turner on October 21, 2024

 

“Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.”

1 Peter 3:8 (NLT)

 

BE OF ONE MIND

 

Last week, our passage found Peter giving specific instructions to husbands and wives. This week, in 1 Peter 3:8-11, he returns to addressing the whole church. As we begin this week’s devotions, keep in mind what is currently happening to the church. Whether this letter was written just before or after Rome was burned is unclear. What is clear, though, is that animosity and hatred toward Christians are intensifying. They are literally living in fear for their lives, and many would suffer greatly for their beliefs.

Peter begins by encouraging them to live and make choices that could turn the hearts of their enemies to Jesus as their Savior. He says this will require them to be of one mind, to sympathize with each other, to love one another as brothers and sisters, to be tenderhearted, and to keep a humble attitude. Easy enough, right? But imagine if you were part of the early church, living in constant fear for your life. How would you act? Would the daily stress allow you to be kind and loving? Would concern for your family and friends allow you to be tender and humble?

For today, let’s focus on the charge “to be of one mind.” Some Bible translations say “like-minded” or “harmonious.” This does not mean that everyone agrees on everything, all the time. Rather, as author and Bible teacher Jen Wilkin says, “It is agreeing on the spine issues, the essentials of our faith.” For instance, this would include what we believe about the Bible, salvation, or the Trinity. Wilkin adds, “When we have division, it is often rooted more in our lack of humility in our thinking than in actually feeling stronger about a particular point of division.”

I believe Peter is encouraging all of us, as the church, to keep the main thing the main thing. Living in unity with our brothers and sisters will draw the lost to Christ—and that is our main calling as the church.

 

Bridget Turner serves as the Director of Women’s Groups at NorthStar Church. She and her husband, Steve, live in Powder Springs and have two young adult children, Hannah and Joshua. She enjoys watching football, traveling and reading.

 

Digging Deeper: True Love

Avatar photo Lee Wilson on October 18, 2024

 

 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you[a] of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

1 Peter 3:1-7  (NLT)


TRUE LOVE

 

Romance is a fickle thing, and like lightning, it can strike when you least expect it. Deanna and I first connected one night at work. The Super Target where we both worked during high school and college used to be a viewing spot for fireworks on July 4th.

Due to some late rain, the fireworks were delayed, and we got stuck in awful traffic after work. By happenstance, we started having a conversation in the parking lot. I should mention that at the time, I was dating another girl and wasn’t looking for a relationship. Yet, as we talked, the night went on and on, well beyond the traffic, and the only thing keeping me there was the conversation. In other words, there were… fireworks! Sorry, couldn’t resist.

I got home late that day with a bittersweet feeling. I knew I was in love, and it wasn’t with the girl I was dating. Fast forward, and we’ve been married for 15 years.

A coworker of mine recently got married, and he asked me, “What’s the secret to staying married?” I simply replied, “There is no secret—just mean what you say at the altar, and you’ll be good.”

As we reflect on this week’s message, we’ve discussed the roles of husbands and wives, the importance of self-sacrifice, and the way children can complicate things. At this point, I’d like to underscore the bedrock of it all: love.

I am so thankful for the gift of love. Our example for love is very simple—it’s Jesus. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). There is no greater example of love than this.

We get to experience all kinds of love, whether with spouses, children, friends, or extended family. But the love you share with your spouse is special. It’s unique, intimate, and beautiful.

In Song of Solomon, it says:
“…for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave.
Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord.
Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it.
If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house,
he would be utterly despised.” (SoS 8:6-7)

I don’t know how I would describe the love I have with Deanna, but this passage feels more accurate than anything I could come up with. If we can focus less on ourselves and more on our spouse, using the loving example of our Lord, maybe we can live in this love that cannot be quenched.

I would also like to personally thank Daniel Hoover for his contributions to this week’s devotionals. Daniel is someone I hold in the absolute highest regard, and it was a joy to share his wisdom with you.

He and Bonnie offer a range of services to couples, dealing with topics from infertility to infidelity to conflict resolution, through their ministry called The Marriage Adventure. You can find them here:

themarriageadventure.com
@themarriageadventure on Facebook and Instagram
The Marriage Adventure Podcast can be found wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

Lee Wilson and his wife, Deanna, have been NorthStar Church members since 2010. They are parents to Everett, Henry and Roselyn. Lee is passionate about sports (Go Braves, Go Dawgs) and has the pleasure to serve on the worship team as a bassist.

 

Digging Deeper: Parenthood

Avatar photo Lee Wilson on October 16, 2024

 

 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you[a] of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

1 Peter 3:1-7  (NLT)


PARENTHOOD

 

We recently took on one of the modern world’s greatest challenges to the family—a trip to Disney World. The unforgiving heat, the thousands of steps, and the debate over whether or not the Lightning Lanes are worth it (they are—in for a penny, in for a pound). Not much can wear down the collective patience of a family faster than that combination of sweat, money, lines, and steps. You experience the full gamut of emotions at Disney, that’s for certain.

A movie that displays all the emotions of parenthood is Parenthood with Steve Martin. A great example of a dad stepping up to the plate to preserve his family’s well-being is when his son, Kevin, is having a birthday party. He had hired a cowboy impersonator for the party, and a bunch of kids had shown up just for that.

When he found out the cowboy was unavailable, he threw a Hail Mary to save the party—he grabbed a cowboy hat and made a fool of himself as a cowboy for an hour, much to the delight of his son and the other kids. This act brought great joy to his wife and all the children, and he won the day by putting them first.

That movie does a great job of showing the different angles and stresses parenting can place on a marriage. Once you have kids, your capacity to love, fear, worry, stress, and hope all seem to grow. You never knew you could love someone that much or worry about someone that much.

It is important, however, to maintain boundaries between kids and parents. As we continue consulting Pastoral Counselor and Marriage Adventure Co-founder Daniel Hoover, I asked him to speak on this subject:

“This year my parents will celebrate 64 years of marriage,” reflected Hoover. “I remember my mom always saying, ‘The greatest thing I can do for you boys is to love your dad.’ She was right. My parents maintained a healthy and connected marriage. This created such a foundation for me and my family. My mom and dad loved me, but they had no problem letting me know that the world didn’t revolve around me.”

It feels like we live in a time that magnifies the child, often placing them above the spousal relationship. It sounds selfless, but in the end, it can be harmful to the long-term well-being of the child.

“It’s important to remember, kids should come second!” said Hoover. “We’re all looking for validation and love, and when our kids are small, they offer us validation. They make us feel important. They’re so cute and cuddly… and selfish! Kids should be taught that they don’t run the home—Mom and Dad do. Our children will be happier, healthier, and better adults if they are raised with an understanding that the world doesn’t revolve around them. If the health of your marriage suffers, the children will also suffer.”

 

Lee Wilson and his wife, Deanna, have been NorthStar Church members since 2010. They are parents to Everett, Henry and Roselyn. Lee is passionate about sports (Go Braves, Go Dawgs) and has the pleasure to serve on the worship team as a bassist.

 

Digging Deeper: The Advice of a Grandfather

Avatar photo Lee Wilson on October 16, 2024

 

 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you[a] of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

1 Peter 3:1-7  (NLT)


THE ADVICE OF A GRANDFATHER

 

When I was a teenager, I had a conversation with my grandfather one morning. We were on a family vacation to the Outer Banks, a family favorite of ours, and he and I were drinking coffee and watching the sunrise while everyone else slept.

My grandmother had passed away several years earlier, and he was reflecting on their marriage. He shared a quote with me that I’ve never forgotten: “When you get married, it should be you and her against the world.”

I love that idea. Life isn’t easy, and finding a husband or wife you can face it with—knowing unequivocally that you have each other’s back—is something we should all be so lucky to find.

When reflecting on the challenges that couples face these days, Pastoral Counselor and Marriage Adventure co-founder Daniel Hoover narrowed it down to two critical challenges:

“Our biggest threat to a godly marriage is SELF,” said Hoover. “When we aren’t abiding in or walking with Christ daily, that old, fleshly, selfish nature begins to rear its ugly head. However, when both spouses are walking with Christ daily and submitting to His authority, we find it much easier to die to ourselves and serve one another.”

The second threat is easy to guess: DISCONNECTION.

“It’s rampant in our society,” said Hoover. “Whether it’s watching TikTok or reels, playing video games, or spending countless hours at the ball field, couples today are more disconnected than ever! A deep, meaningful connection in marriage takes intentionality. Think about when you and your spouse first met—chances are, you went on dates, talked for hours on the phone, and went on fun trips. However, as life and seasons change, many couples allow kids, work, and hobbies to rob them of meaningful connection.”

The “diseases” of SELF and DISCONNECTION are easy to spot, and both can pose major threats to the health of our marriages. Daniel offered these remedies to counteract these threats:

  1. Go to bed at the same time (without turning on the TV). This creates margin in your day and allows you and your spouse to have “pillow talk” before falling asleep. It also creates time for other fun bedroom antics.

  2. Offer bids for connection throughout the day. A bid for connection is when one partner reaches out to the other for interest, conversation, or expressing a need. The healthiest couples talk about everything and nothing at the same time. It could be sending a sweet text during the day, stopping in the hallway to offer an extended hug, complimenting them on how nice they look, or stopping by Starbucks to get their favorite coffee drink.

  3. Once a quarter, get away for a night (without the kids). It sounds like a lot, but it’s only four times a year. It doesn’t have to be extravagant. If you can’t afford to get away, send the kids to the grandparents’ or a friend’s house.

 

Lee Wilson and his wife, Deanna, have been NorthStar Church members since 2010. They are parents to Everett, Henry and Roselyn. Lee is passionate about sports (Go Braves, Go Dawgs) and has the pleasure to serve on the worship team as a bassist.