Digging Deeper – NorthStar Church Blog

Digging Deeper: God Steps In

Kelly Skelton on January 17, 2025

Ephesians 4:26 (NLT)

GOD STEPS IN

I think that sometimes talking about a past hurt can be healing. It’s a way of reflecting on how far you’ve come from the setbacks in your life.

When I look at the ones who’ve hurt me—for every time someone stepped out on me or hurt me—someone else always stepped right in. God has had a plan for all of my past hurts, and all of your past hurts. He’s used those stories to build the amazing chapters in our lives. Ultimately, it’s a story that has made me who I am and who you are. He has used every hurt for good.

There were times I didn’t understand it, times I felt like He wasn’t there, and times when I wanted to right those wrongs and make others feel my pain too. But every time—every time—God has used it for good. I am forever thankful that I’ve been able to see the other side of those hurts.

The author C.S. Lewis wrote, “Look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him, everything else.” I believe this is true. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry. Say the things you need to say to keep your peace and heal your hurt. Leave the vengeance to God.

I pray that as you close out your week and begin your weekend, you will be able to let go of past hurts and walk toward forgiveness. The ones who have hurt you may never know they hurt you. They may never apologize. They may never even realize it. But bitterness has no place in a beautiful heart like yours. Be the one who steps in when others have stepped out. The story of your healing hurt may be what helps someone else walk out of theirs.

Kelly Skelton is a Georgia native, raised in the south on Jesus, Georgia football and sweet tea. She is her husbands’ biggest fan and her two daughters’ loudest cheerleaders. She recently published her first children’s book titled, But God Had a Plan. She stays active in the Dallas area as a photographer, videographer, writer, and middle school teacher.

Digging Deeper: Run Your Race

Kelly Skelton on January 16, 2025

Hebrews 12:1 (NIV)

RUN YOUR RACE

When was a time you felt closest to God? Was it during a struggle, when you cried out for help?

I can vividly remember the countless times I hit my knees crying out to God in 2020. I remember the bold prayers I prayed in my stairwell, and I remember the peace that flowed—peace that didn’t make sense.

I was closer to God in 2020 than I ever had been in my life. I was the healthiest I had ever been. I was the most spiritually sound, reading my Bible, writing, journaling, and seeing the good in everything.

It’s funny—sometimes when things look so good to you, they might not to everyone else. I remember people constantly making comments about my appearance, about how much weight I’d lost, and about my exercise habits. At first, I brushed it off. I was finally maintaining peace, overcoming the anxiety that 2020 brought, and working toward a healthier me. But the longer and more frequent the comments became, the more I began to wonder if something was wrong with me. Why would so many people express concern about my appearance?

You see, my daughter and I have multiple food allergies. During 2020, among many other challenges, there was a shortage of our specific allergy-free foods. There was even a shortage of ingredients, and products that were safe for us to eat in 2019 were no longer made with the same ingredients in 2020. While this brought on stress, it also led to healthier alternatives. That time of slowdown gave me the chance to try new recipes, work with fresh ingredients, and ultimately, it led to weight loss.

Despite knowing all this, I couldn’t shake the comments—they started to get to me. My family has a history of cancer. My dad passed away when I was 16 from lung and liver cancer. My sister was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at 22. My mom just passed away from breast cancer. I let the hurtful comments make me believe that something might be wrong with me too.

I scheduled an appointment with my doctor, who reviewed my chart, listened intently to my story, and after physical checks and blood work, assured me he had no concerns. He said I should be proud of my health, that I was within perfect limits for my age and size. While those comments brought peace to my anxious heart, he did something else I will never forget.

As I walked out of the exam room feeling better, he paused outside his next patient’s room. Then he came back to the front and called me back. He said, “I really feel like I’m supposed to say this to you. Just because there’s been cancer in your family doesn’t mean that you will develop cancer. You are perfectly healthy. Just because there is a history of something doesn’t define your future.”

Those words were everything I needed to hear. They calmed my mind and eased my heart. I will never forget how impactful words can be. Our words can cause hurt and anxiety, but they can also bring peace and reassurance. In 2020, and every day thereafter, I resolved to run the race God has set for me—specifically for me. How I run that race is different from others, and that’s okay.

Though those people never knew how their words hurt me—never apologized or acknowledged how they made me feel—giving it to God and choosing to continue running my race healed the hurt I carried inside.

I pray today, as your week begins to wind down, that you remember the impact you have on your office, your church, your school, your kids’ friends, and your family. Remember that your words have the power to spark. Let them spark something good in someone else. If God lays someone on your heart or gives you something to do, do it. Those very words could be what helps someone else heal from past hurt.

Digging Deeper: God Writes a Better Story

Kelly Skelton on January 15, 2025

Romans 12:17 (NLT)

GOD WRITES A BETTER STORY

I’m certain that, at some point, you have walked through hard times, been hurt by someone you love, or struggled with forgiveness. But have you ever felt like you emotionally hurt yourself? Is there something you need to forgive yourself for?

I’m a people pleaser. I want everyone around me to be happy. I want to always do what’s best for my family, my kids, my students, and my co-workers. Sometimes, to maintain peace, I ignore how I feel about something. I won’t say the thing I know I need to say. I stay silent, and unintentionally, I end up hurting myself.

You see, what happens is that staying silent begins to harbor resentment—resentment that others didn’t see things the way I did, that no one else felt uncomfortable or spoke out, or, better yet, that no one acknowledged how frustrated I was. And that hurts.

In yesterday’s Digging Deeper, I wrote about how I’ll never get back those 13 years with my mom—13 years that we could have been so much closer if we had just addressed the unspoken truth.

But what I do know is that, in every instance, God has used those parts of my story—those past hurts and people-pleasing moments—to point me back to Him. I’m thankful that we can learn from those setbacks and mistakes every day.

When you help maintain peace, even after someone has hurt you, like Romans 12:17 says, you are being honorable: “Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable.” By doing so, you bring honor to God and not vengeance to others.

I pray that as you walk into today, you put away your people-pleasing tendencies. Look others in the eye, listen to their words, and have the bravery to maintain peace while also saying how you feel. Don’t let your years be wasted. Let your hurts become a part of your story that points others back to Christ.

Digging Deeper: How Do You Forgive the Hurt You Can’t Forget?

Kelly Skelton on January 14, 2025

Ephesians 4:26 (NLT)

HOW DO YOU FORGIVE THE HURT YOU CAN’T FORGET?

My mom was a prayer warrior. She was always the first person I called when I needed prayer, the right scripture, or a solid voice of reason. Her relationship with Christ was unlike anything I had ever seen. It was something I strived for. She had journal upon journal filled with messages she’d written where God had answered a prayer or shared something she never wanted to forget. She journaled through all the hard and happy moments of her life.

But there’s one thing I never saw scribbled in her notebooks: the day she knowingly and intentionally said something to hurt me.

It was a hurt so deep that, for several months, we didn’t speak. She missed my daughter’s first Christmas and some of her milestones. During the months we weren’t talking, we played a passive-aggressive game of When will it be okay to talk again? Are we both over this yet? For 13 long years, we never mentioned it. We rebuilt our relationship. We still absolutely loved each other— that never stopped. But I was still broken from her words. I was always fearful that the reasoning behind what she did would be worse than her words themselves.

It wasn’t until she entered a battle with cancer that I finally had the courage to ask why she said what she did.

When she broke down and shared her version of what happened, it was eye-opening. In her motherly mind, she believed she was pushing me toward something she thought I needed. There was so much more going on that I didn’t know, so much I couldn’t see, so much she didn’t say at the time. Isn’t that how it always is when someone hurts us? There’s always more to the story—more that we don’t know.

I’ll never forget that conversation with my mom. I’m thankful that God gave me that time to reconcile, to know her reality, and to truly and deeply forgive a hurt I had carried for 13 years. At her funeral last summer, I clung to the words she shared during that conversation. I will forever wish that conversation had happened sooner, giving me more time with her while she was still on this side of heaven.

Ephesians 4:26 says, “Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.” I firmly believe this with every ounce of my soul.

My prayer for you today is that you hold this scripture in your heart. If someone hurts you, remember that holding on to the hurt will never help you heal. Your heart is too valuable a place to store anger and resentment. We were made to forgive.

Digging Deeper: Your Words Have Power

Kelly Skelton on January 13, 2025

Ephesians 4:29 (NLT)

YOUR WORDS HAVE POWER

How hard is it to ignore the harsh words that someone spews to hurt you?

It feels almost impossible. But so is trying to combat someone’s harsh words about you while firing back with something positive.

In my career, I have had the absolute pleasure of working with people from various backgrounds and beliefs. I’ve worked with atheists, non-believers, and individuals from various religious traditions. I have worked with people from my home state of Georgia, people from far up the East Coast, and people from as far out as the West Coast. I’ve worked with individuals who share my beliefs and values and others whose views are polar opposites.

One thing I have learned through each of these experiences is that they help you grow as a person. I’ve learned a lesson from each one and have become more understanding and more appreciative of their uniqueness. Sometimes, though, those lessons are hard—especially when they involve someone spreading lies about you.

I am the type of person who can ignore criticism about my fashion, my style, and my image all day long. But when you attack my character—my integrity—I draw a fine line.

Several years ago, a co-worker shared some very untruthful things about me in a meeting. It took only two short hours before the story got back to me, and the criticism of my peers started setting in. In a moment like that, you want to immediately defend your name, right the wrong, and stand up for yourself. And while I informally did those things, I never fully confronted them. I let that hurt build into a constant frustration, and a passive-aggressive character I didn’t want to wear emerged. I never stood up for myself.

The rest of that year, I was in survival mode, and I hated the way that made me feel. It wasn’t until that summer that I finally decided holding onto that hurt—the story someone else had written about me—was only hurting me. So, I let it go. I knew the truth, God knew the truth, and His view of me was the only one I needed to worry about. I trusted that God could right the wrong.

A year later, that same former co-worker experienced a life-changing event. My heart was pounding when I felt God press in and tell me to contact them. When I called, I spoke nothing but encouraging words, and I could hear the peace in their voice. I never spoke to them about the hurt they caused me. I never confronted the frustrating words. But I was the one cheering them on when they needed affirmation. I know they will never forget that, and I will never forget just how perfect God’s timing was in that moment.

I pray as you tackle this Monday, you remember that people will never forget how you make them feel. The words you speak should always be an encouragement for others to hear. You can never take back words once they leave your mouth, so let them be something worth remembering.

Digging Deeper: The Overflow

Sarah Jefferson on January 10, 2025

“I am sure of this, that he who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 1:6 (CSB)

THE OVERFLOW

I know what you might be thinking: I have remembered my why. I have asked for changed thinking. I am trying to lock eyes with Jesus and wrestle out what I say I believe. But what’s next?

Pray for Endurance

“For you need endurance, so that after you have done God’s will, you may receive what was promised.” – Hebrews 10:36
Sometimes, the hard things we walk through last a moment or days, but other times they last years. Pray for endurance.

Just Do the Next Right Thing

“Because of the Lord’s faithful love we do not perish, for his mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness!” – Lamentations 3:22-24
My grandmother used to tell me, “Do not yield to the temptation of looking at everything at once, as if everything would happen at once and all the events of the day are crowded into an hour.”

We glorify the Lord in whatever He ordains, one step at a time. Walk in today’s mercy, believing that tomorrow will have new mercies for all it holds.

Wait and Watch

“I will stand at my guard post and station myself on the lookout tower. I will watch to see what he will say to me and what I should reply about my complaint.” – Habakkuk 2:1
Get on your watchtower, waiting and looking for the Lord to work. Be expectant.

There is a fascinating study I read about the topography of tears. Researchers photographed 100 tears under a microscope, revealing an amazing spectrum. Tears of grief looked entirely different from tears of joy. Tears of liberation were distinct from tears of release. Even tears from laughter, change, or cutting onions had unique structures.

Tears and Transformation

Acts 9 details Jesus’ calling on Saul’s (Paul’s) life. Saul was blinded, and when the scales fell from his eyes, his restored sight immediately propelled him to become a world-changer for God’s kingdom.

While Saul had literal scales causing blindness, we too are often spiritually blinded. What if our tears held the scales? What if those very tears were the remedy for healing our sight? As the scale-filled tears fall, they give way to vision—clarity to see Jesus. Like a blind person seeing for the first time, the blur is removed: clarity, focus, vision… Jesus.

I don’t want this study on tears to minimize the pain you might be experiencing. It certainly doesn’t capture the depth of some of my hardships. But I want to elevate the truth that each tear has been accounted for and holds a purpose.

We serve a good Father who allows the circumstances of our lives to filter through His hands. He is our only hope.

Sarah Jefferson is married to Curtis and the mother to Grey, Sanders, and Collins. She is a rare Atlanta native, currently living in Acworth. Sarah began her career in public relations in the sports industry. Now, she is a high school English teacher Mt. Paran Christian School. When she’s not teaching, you can find her running or hiking the beautiful trails of north Georgia and spending time with her busy family.

Digging Deeper: Work Out Your Salvation

Sarah Jefferson on January 9, 2025

“Therefore, my dear friends, just as you have always obeyed, so now, not only in my presence but even more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God who is working in you both to will and to work according to his good purpose.”

Philippians 2:12-13 (CSB)

WORK OUT YOUR SALVATION

When my mother-in-law died, I couldn’t even process her passing because my mother immediately fell ill. Then, eight months later, she also went to be with Jesus. Layered grief is unlike anything I have ever experienced. I tried to read my Bible, but I couldn’t understand any of it. I couldn’t listen to praise and worship because I couldn’t stop crying. And if I’m being fully transparent, I was disappointed with God’s plans for my life.

Elizabeth Elliott often said in her talks, “Sometimes life is so hard you can only do the next thing. Whatever that is, just do the next thing. God will meet you there.” When life feels a lot like you’re living in a snow globe and everything is turned upside down, it can be tempting to walk away. But the enemy of our souls is never closer than when we suffer.

There is no checklist for getting through hard circumstances, but we must continue to work out our salvation. Here are a few things that helped me:

Continue to lift your eyes to Jesus. I found it helpful to listen to podcasts and sermons that pointed me back to Him.
Surrender. This is hard but necessary.
“Consider it a great joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you experience various trials, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.” – James 1:2-3
Oftentimes, my prayers were simply, “Jesus, I trust You.” I had no idea what He was doing in my life, but I knew He was faithful.
Wrestle with what you say you believe.
“Let us hold on to the confession of our hope without wavering, since he who promised is faithful.” – Hebrews 10:23
Find someone to walk alongside you who will continue to point you to Jesus. Don’t suffer alone! NorthStar pastors can help guide you to the right ministry to help you hold fast to Jesus.
Stay teachable.
“Carefully consider the path for your feet, and all your ways will be established. Teach me your way, Lord, and I will live by your truth. Give me an undivided mind to fear your name.” – Psalm 86:11
We often do not have because we do not ask (James 4). So, ask the Lord to teach you how to glorify Him in this hard season.

“Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore, I have set my face like a stone, determined to do his will. And I know that I will not be put to shame.” – Isaiah 50:7

All I can tell you is that Jesus is near to the brokenhearted, and the cleft of the rock is real. It’s the only thing that makes the heartbreak beautiful and purposeful. What once was the valley of the shadow of death, I now see as the valley of vision—a place to see Jesus.

Determine to see Him in this hardest pain.

Digging Deeper: Lock Eyes with Jesus

Sarah Jefferson on January 8, 2025

“Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every hindrance and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith. For the joy that lay before him, he endured the cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Hebrews 12:1 (CSB)

LOCK EYES WITH JESUS

We are now three days into talking about the hope of heaven. We have clarified that the hope of heaven doesn’t remove the pain of this life. It simply yet profoundly reminds us of our why, simultaneously giving peace in the midst of deep, penetrating loss and disappointment. Because our only purpose in this life is to glorify God in whatever He ordains, we cannot live for others, the things or pleasures of this world, or even the beautiful gifts God gives. Yesterday, we saw that the key to knowing God’s plans and purposes for our lives requires that our thinking aligns with God’s thinking.

But how do we do all of this? We follow Jesus’ example:

“Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith. For the joy that lay before him, he endured the cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” – Hebrews 12:2

You see, the overflow of locking eyes with Jesus is a life aglow with His glory. It takes our eyes off our circumstances and places them on the only sure thing in this world—Jesus Himself. We begin to see the beauty of His character, the blessings in His promises, and the peace in His presence.

“By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.” – 2 Peter 1:3

Have you considered that as Jesus followers, we can share in His divine nature and escape the world’s corruption? That’s the hope that lights up the darkest nights. That’s the hope the world needs.

I don’t want to make light of our suffering. Some of us have endured wave upon wave of unbearable grief. Life is hard, but do not grow tired of doing good (Galatians 6:9). Get into God’s Word and lock eyes with Jesus so that, like Paul, you can say:

“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God’s heavenly call in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 3:13-14

Only when we lock eyes with Jesus do we see the hope of heaven. Only then can we press on. When we build altars in the wilderness, continually surrendering our will to His, we’ll look back and see that by His grace, mercy, and the empowering of His Spirit, we were walking on the water, hand in hand with our Savior.

Thank you, Jesus!

Digging Deeper: Changed Thinking

Sarah Jefferson on January 7, 2025

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then, you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Romans 12:2 (NLT)

CHANGED THINKING

When Joni Eareckson Tada spoke at the Wheaton College Elizabeth Elliott Memorial Service, she said she knew there was more to suffering than understanding the reasons why God allows it or how you can benefit from it. She recognized that true maturity, true joy, and true contentment have less to do with a mechanistic assessment of God’s plan and purposes for your life and more to do with being pushed into—and at times shoved and pressed up against—the breast of Jesus Christ until your heart begins beating in rhythm with His. It’s not a tidy, orderly list but something very messy: an earnest grappling and wrestling with the angel of the Lord until He touches us in heart and hip.

She said, “When you are decimated by affliction, when you are down for the count, you learn Elizabeth’s doctrine. The Bible’s answers are never to be separated from the tender, sweet, holy, precious God of the Bible—food and drink to those of us that God places on altars of affliction.”

Tada, as you may recall, dove into the Chesapeake Bay at the young age of 16, broke her neck, and has spent the majority of her life paralyzed in a wheelchair. Now 75 years old, she has endured stage 3 breast cancer and currently lives with chronic pain in spite of her paralysis. Without a doubt, she has learned about the hope of heaven.

Romans 8:28 tells us we serve a sovereign God who is weaving all the events of our lives together for our good and His glory. But how can some of this be good? In the throes of life’s hardest moments, Scripture offers profound insight into God’s thoughts versus our own.

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:8-9

Yet, when you are staring at the effects of adultery, a cancer diagnosis, the loss of a loved one, or a wayward child, it’s hard to imagine how such hardship can be seen as good. Romans 12:2 offers the key:

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

Philippians 4:8 adds this powerful command:

“Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.”

If His thoughts are not our thoughts, then the prayer becomes, “God, change my thinking on this. You are the good thing You will not withhold. Give me eyes to see You in this impossibly hard season. Help me to fix my thoughts on Your promises and character.”

After all, He is our only hope in this life.

Digging Deeper: Remember Your Why

Sarah Jefferson on January 6, 2025

“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”

1 Corinthians 10:31 (ESV)

REMEMBER YOUR WHY

“But what does hope mean?” I practically begged my mentor and spiritual mother of nearly 40 years.

After decades of following Jesus, the layered grief of losing my mother-in-law and my mother within eight months of each other had left my head in a million places, uncertain of everything I thought I knew. Everyone kept talking about the “hope of heaven,” and I believed our mothers were there—in the very real place of heaven, in the presence of Jesus. But this hope wasn’t easing the pain I was left with.

In her kind, gentle, but confident voice, Susan replied, “Sarah, this is when you fall back on what you know.”

So, friend, let’s do just that. When life feels completely upside down, overwhelming, and absolutely nothing like you imagined, go back to the beginning. Trust the process.

Who made you? Genesis 2 tells us it was God who made us.
What else did God make? Genesis 1 tells us God made all things.
Why did God make you and all things? Isaiah 43:7 reminds us that we were made for His glory.

We were made by an intentional, loving God who sees the beginning from the end. Nothing surprises Him—not the loss, the diagnosis, the broken relationships, the financial hardships, the distant marriage, the infertility, raising teens, or the loneliness. He is aware of it all.

When we remind ourselves that we were created by an all-knowing God, who made us to glorify Him in whatever He ordains, we remove ourselves from the center of the story. This life is not about us! It’s not about our wants and desires, or even our “rights.” It’s certainly not about our happiness or what’s fair. It’s about Jesus and His glory. Glorifying God is our one great calling.

“For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
The Lord will give grace and glory;
No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.
O Lord of hosts,
Blessed is the man who trusts in You!” – Psalm 84:11

The good thing He does not withhold is Himself. Pause and sit with that for a moment. Living for His glory begins with sitting—the secret to the true Christian experience. You see, before we can live for His glory, we must prioritize being still (Psalm 46:10), begging like Moses (Exodus 33) to see His glory in the very place we doubt it might be.