Lee Wilson – NorthStar Church Blog

Digging Deeper: Obey

Lee Wilson on April 2, 2025

One day as Jesus was preaching on the shore of the Sea of Galilee, great crowds pressed in on him to listen to the word of God. ²He noticed two empty boats at the water’s edge, for the fishermen had left them and were washing their nets. ³Stepping into one of the boats, Jesus asked Simon, its owner, to push it out into the water. So he sat in the boat and taught the crowds from there.

⁴When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Now go out where it is deeper, and let down your nets to catch some fish.”

⁵“Master,” Simon replied, “we worked hard all last night and didn’t catch a thing. But if you say so, I’ll let the nets down again.” ⁶And this time their nets were so full of fish they began to tear! ⁷A shout for help brought their partners in the other boat, and soon both boats were filled with fish and on the verge of sinking.

⁸When Simon Peter realized what had happened, he fell to his knees before Jesus and said, “Oh, Lord, please leave me—I’m such a sinful man.” ⁹For he was awestruck by the number of fish they had caught, as were the others with him. ¹⁰His partners, James and John, the sons of Zebedee, were also amazed.

Jesus replied to Simon, “Don’t be afraid! From now on you’ll be fishing for people!” ¹¹And as soon as they landed, they left everything and followed Jesus.

Luke 5:1-11 (NLT)

OBEY

The San Diego Padres had a great team in 1984. Their roster featured Steve Garvey and future Hall of Famers like Tony Gwynn and Rich “Goose” Gossage. However, they were up against one of the best teams of the era—the Detroit Tigers.

The Tigers started that season by winning 35 of their first 40 games, finishing with a dominant 104-58 record. The two teams met in the World Series, and the Tigers were as formidable as advertised, winning three of the first four games.

With the Padres facing elimination in Game 5, Gossage found himself in a jam late in the game as Kirk Gibson stepped up to the plate for Detroit.

Padres manager Dick Williams immediately called for an intentional walk, but Gossage flatly refused. As he later recounted, he had experienced a lot of success against Gibson. Williams paid a mound visit and listened to his pitcher’s case before finally saying, “Alright, strike him out then.”

Gibson, fully aware that Gossage had chosen to pitch to him rather than issue the walk, stepped up to the plate—and deposited the next pitch into the upper deck in right field for a three-run homer. The blast put the game and the series out of reach, sealing the Tigers’ championship that night.

It turns out the manager had the right idea all along. The player thought he knew best, but the result said otherwise. Reflecting back with a smile, Gossage simply admits, “I guess I should have walked him.”

It is in our human nature to be disobedient. Most of the time, it’s because we think we know better than whatever instruction we’re given—including God’s instruction.

In the passage we are studying this week, Peter obeys a command from Jesus even though he doubts the outcome. When Jesus says in Luke 5:4, “Go out deeper and let your nets down to catch some fish,” Peter replies, “Master, we worked hard all night and didn’t catch a thing. But if you say so, I’ll let the nets down again.”

That reluctant obedience is reminiscent of many parental moments I have with my kids. There may be eye-rolling or heavy sighs before they ultimately do what my wife or I have asked. That reluctance is a manifestation of pride—and it’s neither good nor holy. It’s something we all struggle with.

When it comes to our relationship with Jesus, obedience isn’t simply a suggestion—it’s a command. Jesus says, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me” (John 10:27) and “If you love me, obey my commandments” (John 14:15).

Our obedience to him is one of the ways we set ourselves apart from the world. It is a sign of our love for Christ and our trust in him as our Shepherd. And that obedience, rooted in love, will always lead us to the most spiritually fruitful path—just as it did for the disciples in the boat that day.

So with willing hearts, obey.

Lee Wilson and his wife, Deanna, have been NorthStar Church members since 2010. They are parents to Everett, Henry and Roselyn. Lee is passionate about sports (Go Braves, Go Dawgs) and has the pleasure to serve on the worship team as a bassist.

Digging Deeper: Location, Location, Location

Lee Wilson on April 1, 2025

⁴When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Now go out where it is deeper, and let down your nets to catch some fish.”

Jesus replied to Simon, “Don’t be afraid! From now on you’ll be fishing for people!” ¹¹And as soon as they landed, they left everything and followed Jesus.

Luke 5:1-11 (NLT)

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION

My family moved to Atlanta from my home state of Virginia when I was just seven years old. Shortly after moving here, my dad made sure to take me, along with my brothers, to Fulton County Stadium for the first live sports event of my life.

I remember it well—the Braves lost to the Mets 5-2, despite leadoff back-to-back homers from Roberto Kelly and Jeff Blauser. More significantly, the first game I ever saw live was started by Greg Maddux—one of the best players of… well, ever.

Maddux may not have gotten the win that night (he threw a complete game, but unearned runs cost him), but he did earn 355 career wins and a Hall of Fame nod in 2014. Maddux didn’t throw the ball as hard as others, but he could make it move and locate his pitches with incredible precision.

Former major leaguer Orel Hershiser once remarked that Maddux could “throw it into a teacup if he wanted to.” Maddux himself routinely emphasizes the importance of location, urging younger pitchers to focus on where the ball is going, not just how hard they can throw it. Location matters.

We learned in studying Luke that location also mattered for the disciples. Jesus stepped onto the boat and taught the crowd before turning to Simon Peter and telling him to go deeper and try again. The fishermen reluctantly took the boat into deeper water as he instructed—and were rewarded with a catch so large they needed help hauling all the fish onto the boat (Luke 5:4-7).

Pastor and author John Piper, speaking on this text, said of verses 6 and 7: “The point is: this is an utterly unprecedented catch of fish in a location that seemed hopelessly unproductive the night before. And it was caught at the powerful and authoritative word of Jesus.”

This miraculous catch was designed to shock the future disciples and display his awesome power, leaving Peter on his knees in wonder. The location of the boat mattered—not because the fish had magically become more available that day, but because Jesus was delivering in a way that only he can, commanding the outcome.

We must be willing to answer the same call as the disciples did that day. They had doubts about the outcome, but they were rewarded for taking their boat to the right location. Our willingness to go where we are called must be absolute.

It has long been a hallmark of our church to have our “yes on the table” when Jesus calls us to move and act. We must have our hearts ready to move the boat wherever he tells us to go—despite our doubts. If we live this way, he will deliver in ways that only he can!

Digging Deeper: Getting the Call

Lee Wilson on March 31, 2025

One day as Jesus was preaching on the shore of the Sea of Galilee, great crowds pressed in on him to listen to the word of God. ²He noticed two empty boats at the water’s edge, for the fishermen had left them and were washing their nets. ³Stepping into one of the boats, Jesus asked Simon,^[b] its owner, to push it out into the water. So he sat in the boat and taught the crowds from there.

⁴When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Now go out where it is deeper, and let down your nets to catch some fish.”

Jesus replied to Simon, “Don’t be afraid! From now on you’ll be fishing for people!” ¹¹And as soon as they landed, they left everything and followed Jesus.

Luke 5:1-11 (NLT)

GETTING THE CALL

Well, spring has sprung, and along with exorbitant amounts of pollen, the season also means baseball is back, baby!

In his essay titled A Perfect Game, author David Bentley Hart argues that baseball might be America’s greatest contribution to the history of civilization. Well, I agree. So let’s celebrate baseball with this week’s lessons.

For a Major League player, a defining moment in their career is often the moment they get called up to the big leagues for the first time.

That call can come at different times for different players—whether through a traditional climb through the minor league levels after scouts and the general manager determine that the player is ready or through a rapid ascension to the top for those with the most potential, even if development is still needed. Their readiness for all the challenges of the Major Leagues might be debated, but sometimes you take chances when the talent is there.

This week, we discussed Jesus “calling up” the first disciples in Luke. Jesus demonstrated his authority, leaving Simon Peter begging at his feet to leave, as he was such a sinful man (Luke 5:8). In spite of his imperfections, Jesus determined he was ready—he knew the talent was there.

In our lives, we may hear the Lord’s call and feel ready for our opportunity to be called up, only to be derailed or delayed by adversity.

In 1941, a teenage pitcher named Lou Brissie was pitching in an amateur league and was so successful that he drew the attention of future Hall of Famer Connie Mack, who offered him a contract to join the Philadelphia Athletics organization. However, his father insisted he finish school first.

Shortly thereafter, World War II began, and in 1942, Brissie enlisted in the Army. He aimed to serve his country with honor but still hoped to pursue baseball afterward. In 1944, he found himself in Italy with the 88th Infantry Division, where he came under artillery barrage. A shell exploded, shattering his left tibia and shinbone into 30 pieces.

Doctors told him they would need to amputate his leg, but he implored them to do whatever possible to save it, even if it cost him his life, because he was a baseball player. Dozens of surgeries and blood transfusions later, Brissie still had his leg—and a sliver of hope for his baseball future.

Upon hearing of Brissie’s heroic determination, Mack promised him an opportunity to pitch and simply urged him to get well. Brissie said Mack’s words were a tremendous motivator. Roughly a year later, Brissie pitched on crutches in a workout for Mack, who still believed in the talent he had once seen in a teen playing in an amateur league.

After years of rehabilitation and pain, in 1948, Lou Brissie got his turn to be called up. He went on to win 14 games for the Athletics that season and pitched seven seasons in the big leagues, later admitting that he was in pain with every pitch.

Despite everything he had been through, he still had someone who saw something in him and gave him an opportunity.

Jesus saw Peter, who admitted his own imperfections and stood in awe of all that Jesus was. Yet, Jesus not only brought him along but eventually called him to be the flag bearer for the faith.

Don’t be intimidated by your failures—for we are all unworthy of Christ. We have each been called to serve His Kingdom and share our faith in this world. We have something in common with Peter and Lou Brissie: We have someone who has given us an opportunity.

What are we going to do with it?

Digging Deeper: Honor God in Everything

Lee Wilson on January 3, 2025

42 All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper), and to prayer. 43 A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. 44 And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had. 45 They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need. 46 They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity—47 all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved.

Acts 2:42 (NLT)

HONOR GOD IN EVERYTHING

I am a very practical guy. I like big ideas, and I appreciate good vision casting, but I immediately want to dice them up into pragmatic and actionable plans. So, the final commitment we were challenged to make this past Sunday was to honor God every day.

Sounds simple, right? Well, how do we do that? I view this in three different categories for myself: as a spouse, as a father, and as an employee. So how do I honor God every day in each of these categories?

As a spouse, I try to do what Paul says in Ephesians and love my wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). This kind of love looks different every day but is rooted in the sacrificial love Christ had for His church.

Sometimes that means if she has to work late, I handle dinner and the kids, running to a baseball field or the grocery store if necessary. Other times, it means I grab her an iced coffee after an early morning for her. And sometimes, it is as simple as putting down the phone, turning the game off, and just listening to her.

When I put on my dad hat, the way I honor God looks different. As the father of two young boys, I spend a lot of time breaking up fights and breaking out the “dad voice” when needed. Other times, it’s the stuff dreams are made of, like playing catch with my sons.

One of the greatest baseball movies of all time is Field of Dreams. If you watch the whole movie, there are all kinds of intricate stories about ghosts, former players, and a magical cornfield. But how does the movie end? What is it all really about? It’s about a son who wants to play catch with his dad. I will stop anything I’m doing when one of my boys wants to play catch. I live for that.

As their dad, one of the keys is ensuring they see Jesus every day. We are finding new ways to introduce Scripture to them and make it part of our routine, but the best way they will see Jesus is in how I treat them and their mom. They are a precious gift that I thank God for every day, even on the hard ones.

Paul references the way he behaved with the Thessalonians “like a father with his own children,” encouraging them and urging them to “walk in a manner worthy of God” (1 Thessalonians 2:11-12). I think that is an ideal description of how I hope to raise my boys into men who walk in a manner worthy of God.

In order to provide for my wife and kids, I have to work. God blessed me with a job that pays the bills and enables me to be home every night and attend every baseball game or chorus performance. To honor God at work, I simply try to adhere to Paul’s command in Colossians:
“And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him” (Colossians 3:17).

If I do everything in the name of Jesus, I have a chance to honor God in everything I do.

Digging Deeper: Be Bold Enough to Share

Lee Wilson on January 2, 2025

Acts 2:42 (NLT)

BE BOLD ENOUGH TO SHARE

One of the commitments we were challenged to make this past Sunday was to share Christ with unbelievers. At the end of the Gospel of Matthew is the famous Great Commission, where Jesus challenged His followers to do that very thing. After His resurrection, Jesus commands the eleven remaining disciples to make “disciples of all nations” and assures us that He is with us to the end of the age (Matthew 28:16-20).

Sharing Christ is sometimes the most daunting task a believer can have. The conversations can be challenging. We might be afraid to broach the subject with someone for fear of their response, or perhaps we doubt our ability to articulate it correctly since we aren’t theologically trained.

The bottom line is an uncomfortable truth—you have been commanded by your Lord to do it. We all have different people in our paths to whom God has intended for us to reflect Christ. Sometimes our testimony can be through our actions, sometimes through our words, and sometimes through our story.

Yet we must always be prepared to give a reason for the hope that is in us (1 Peter 3:15). Have you ever stopped to consider that? I don’t know about you, but I don’t get randomly asked every day why I am a Christian. I sometimes doubt if I could even give a substantive answer to that question, so I have tried to “be prepared” by finding people who are smarter than me (which is easy) to give advice.

Dr. John Piper preached on this very text once and offered direct guidance on how we are supposed to be prepared to give this reason. He first cited Luke 21:14, in which Jesus is preparing His disciples for the persecution they will face:
“There will be a time for you to bear testimony. Settle it therefore in your hearts not to meditate beforehand how to make your case. For I will give you a mouth and wisdom which none of your adversaries will be able to withstand or contradict.”

In this guidance, Jesus clearly says not to meditate beforehand on your answer and instead promises to speak through you when that moment comes. What a relief!

So what does Peter mean when he says to always be prepared? Piper points to the beginning of that verse, where we are commanded to reverence Christ or to regard Him as holy, depending on your translation. This reverence is the key, according to Piper:
“Reverence the Lord Christ in your heart, and you will always have a reason to give for why you are hopeful.”

We can all agree the world needs Christ, and we are commanded to be part of the way He is revealed in this world. Feel the relief that this isn’t a call to be a theologian; the only thing you need to do is revere Christ. When the time comes to share, Christ promises to give you the words to say!

Digging Deeper: Going the Extra Mile

Lee Wilson on January 1, 2025

Acts 2:42 (NLT)

GOING THE EXTRA MILE

I have worked at a Chick-fil-A restaurant for almost nine years. Obviously, restaurant success is often predicated on how good your food is, but it is carried by the service you provide and the way in which you provide it.

One of the hallmarks of Truett Cathy’s company is “Second Mile Service.” It is a part of restaurant training for team members and is at the core of the company’s direction. The idea is to go the “extra mile” in order to surpass expectations and delight the guest.

It takes its root in Matthew 5:41, which states simply, “If anyone makes you go one mile, go with him two miles.” Going the extra mile, in my opinion, is what makes Chick-fil-A different than any other restaurant. You can find good chicken or fast service at other places, but the way you feel when you are at a Chick-fil-A should be the differentiator.

I am responsible for the hiring and orientation at our location, and we take a lot of care to build an eye for service among our teams. We focus on finding opportunities to go the extra mile. Sometimes it is as small as carrying out a high chair for a mom who has her hands full with children, and other times, bigger moments present themselves.

This past Sunday, we were challenged to commit to loving others through service, especially since, as Christians, people watch what we do. Our reputation matters because we have the honor and responsibility of being flagbearers for Christ. What an honor that is!

The idea of walking around carrying a flag that says “Christian” on it should influence each and every move we make. While none of us is perfect, we should daily strive to be more Christ-like in all that we do. The Apostle John says, “By this we know we are in him: whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked” (1 John 2:5-6).

Sometimes I get tripped up because I am acutely aware of all the ways I fall short of Christ. I have no grand delusions of any sense of worthiness for Christ. While that is true, it doesn’t change the fact that we are clearly commanded to walk like Him every day.

One of the key elements in accomplishing this is to spend time with Him, both in prayer and in the Word. These habits must be a part of our daily walk, or else we can experience drift and become lost.

Paul offers us several practical ways in which we can love others and walk like Christ, chief among them being his simple claim in Colossians 3:17:
“And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”

This is our lens through which we do anything and everything—to do it all in the name of Christ!

Digging Deeper: Be Atomic

Lee Wilson on December 31, 2024

Acts 2:42 (NLT)

BE ATOMIC

A few years ago, I was able to attend a leadership conference in Chicago. It was my first trip to that beautiful city, and the experience was capped off by an afternoon at the friendly confines, where the Braves coincidentally happened to be in town. An unforgettable experience.

The conference was filled with great speakers, but only a few really resonated with me. Chief among them was James Clear, the author of one of my favorite books, Atomic Habits. After hearing Clear speak, I immediately bought the book and began reading it.

It is an easy read, and the concept is fairly simple, yet extremely applicable and practical. The idea is to create habits that help improve your performance or a particular skill incrementally—1% at a time. The concept is predicated on the notion that we can’t make wholesale changes all at once but instead have to focus on building a process that helps us make small improvements constantly. By doing this, we build on our success and make incremental gains over time, which culminate in the wholesale change we are seeking.

One of the best examples he uses is the British Olympic cycling team, which was so bad at one point that they were not allowed to use branded materials to compete, for fear in the cycling world that their poor performance would damage the brands. They adopted this incremental gains approach and, in time, became an Olympic superpower.

We can apply these principles to working out in the gym, improving our grades at school, or growing in our spiritual walk. This past Sunday, we were challenged to commit to growing spiritually.

Spiritual growth can look different in methodology for all of us. You might have the goal of reading the whole Bible in the new year, and that’s a great goal to have. Odds are, you can’t read it in a day. So, you will have to build and develop a routine to read a little at a time and ultimately reach your goal as the year progresses.

My goal for growing spiritually in 2025 centers around my two sons and my wife. I feel like we need to reset for the new year, as my boys are getting older and are ready for a deeper approach to faith.

2024 was a very busy working year for my wife and me, and that presented some new challenges to our faith journey. So, we are recalibrating what that looks like moving forward, and we don’t yet have the answer. Sometimes, not having the answer is what feels daunting.

We can’t reach the mountaintop right away, and that can demotivate us from even beginning to climb. But if we take one step at a time, we can reach our ultimate destination. The key is to keep climbing—or growing. Because whatever isn’t growing is dying.

Digging Deeper: Marrow Deep

Lee Wilson on December 30, 2024

Acts 2:42 (NLT)

MARROW DEEP

We hear from our pastor, Mike Linch, all the time that we weren’t meant to do life alone. God demonstrates this in His will for mankind by saying that the first human ever, Adam, “shouldn’t be alone” (Genesis 2:18). We need companionship, we need love, and we need friendship.

On March 4, 1861, our 16th President was sworn into office. Just over a month into his presidency, the Civil War began. Needless to say, there would be a great need for companionship, friendship, and guidance in the months that followed for Abraham Lincoln.

At the onset of the war, Lincoln was routinely involved in the military movements and decision-making at a close level. While Lincoln was well-read in history, the former lawyer and congressman wasn’t keen on making military decisions and sought to relinquish that responsibility to a qualified and like-minded military mind.

The problem for the President was finding the right man. As the conflict drew on, Lincoln eventually decided to move on from General George McClellan, who was charismatic and popular among his direct reports but lacked the ability to mesh with the folksy western lawyer in Lincoln.

Lincoln set his sights on General Ulysses Grant, who earned several promotions after successful battle campaigns and possessed a relentless pursuit of victory. Despite several advisors offering criticism of the flawed man in Grant, Lincoln stuck with his gut and forged an unbreakable friendship with him.

The friendship of the two men who would ultimately lead the Union to victory was forged in the fires of criticism. Both men were routinely doubted for their abilities to accomplish that task, and within the walls of their friendship came the crucial decisions that would win the war.

In the 2012 movie entitled Lincoln, we find the President pondering a crucial decision that Grant has advised him to make. While debating aloud whether or not to do it, he says of Grant, “My trust in him is marrow deep.”

We were challenged this past Sunday to get to know others more deeply. I’d say “marrow deep” is about as deep as it gets.

I have often thought of that line and wondered, “Who do I hold in that regard?” That list isn’t (and probably shouldn’t be) that long. Those types of relationships are forged in the battles we fight in life.

We know the battles are coming, for Jesus Himself warns us that in this life, we will find trouble. But He has overcome this world (John 16:33). Praise God for that! But now what?

While we wait for Him to return, we have to find the people He leaves in our path to help us win the daily battles we face, as well as the battles that bring us to our knees and shake us to the core. We have to find our “marrow deep” people, and we have to be that person for others.

For we weren’t meant to do life alone!

Digging Deeper: True Love

Lee Wilson on October 18, 2024

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, ²when they see your respectful and pure conduct. ³Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— ⁴but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. ⁵For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, ⁶as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

⁷Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you^[^a^] of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

1 Peter 3:1-7 (NLT)

TRUE LOVE

Romance is a fickle thing, and like lightning, it can strike when you least expect it. Deanna and I first connected one night at work. The Super Target where we both worked during high school and college used to be a viewing spot for fireworks on July 4th.

Due to some late rain, the fireworks were delayed, and we got stuck in awful traffic after work. By happenstance, we started having a conversation in the parking lot. I should mention that at the time, I was dating another girl and wasn’t looking for a relationship. Yet, as we talked, the night went on and on, well beyond the traffic, and the only thing keeping me there was the conversation. In other words, there were… fireworks! Sorry, couldn’t resist.

I got home late that day with a bittersweet feeling. I knew I was in love, and it wasn’t with the girl I was dating. Fast forward, and we’ve been married for 15 years.

A coworker of mine recently got married, and he asked me, “What’s the secret to staying married?” I simply replied, “There is no secret—just mean what you say at the altar, and you’ll be good.”

As we reflect on this week’s message, we’ve discussed the roles of husbands and wives, the importance of self-sacrifice, and the way children can complicate things. At this point, I’d like to underscore the bedrock of it all: love.

I am so thankful for the gift of love. Our example for love is very simple—it’s Jesus. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). There is no greater example of love than this.

We get to experience all kinds of love, whether with spouses, children, friends, or extended family. But the love you share with your spouse is special. It’s unique, intimate, and beautiful.

In Song of Solomon, it says:
“…for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave.
Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord.
Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it.
If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house,
he would be utterly despised.” (SoS 8:6-7)

I don’t know how I would describe the love I have with Deanna, but this passage feels more accurate than anything I could come up with. If we can focus less on ourselves and more on our spouse, using the loving example of our Lord, maybe we can live in this love that cannot be quenched.

I would also like to personally thank Daniel Hoover for his contributions to this week’s devotionals. Daniel is someone I hold in the absolute highest regard, and it was a joy to share his wisdom with you.

He and Bonnie offer a range of services to couples, dealing with topics from infertility to infidelity to conflict resolution, through their ministry called The Marriage Adventure. You can find them here:

themarriageadventure.com
@themarriageadventure on Facebook and Instagram
The Marriage Adventure Podcast can be found wherever you listen to podcasts.

Digging Deeper: Parenthood

Lee Wilson on October 16, 2024

1 Peter 3:1-7 (NLT)

PARENTHOOD

We recently took on one of the modern world’s greatest challenges to the family—a trip to Disney World. The unforgiving heat, the thousands of steps, and the debate over whether or not the Lightning Lanes are worth it (they are—in for a penny, in for a pound). Not much can wear down the collective patience of a family faster than that combination of sweat, money, lines, and steps. You experience the full gamut of emotions at Disney, that’s for certain.

A movie that displays all the emotions of parenthood is Parenthood with Steve Martin. A great example of a dad stepping up to the plate to preserve his family’s well-being is when his son, Kevin, is having a birthday party. He had hired a cowboy impersonator for the party, and a bunch of kids had shown up just for that.

When he found out the cowboy was unavailable, he threw a Hail Mary to save the party—he grabbed a cowboy hat and made a fool of himself as a cowboy for an hour, much to the delight of his son and the other kids. This act brought great joy to his wife and all the children, and he won the day by putting them first.

That movie does a great job of showing the different angles and stresses parenting can place on a marriage. Once you have kids, your capacity to love, fear, worry, stress, and hope all seem to grow. You never knew you could love someone that much or worry about someone that much.

It is important, however, to maintain boundaries between kids and parents. As we continue consulting Pastoral Counselor and Marriage Adventure Co-founder Daniel Hoover, I asked him to speak on this subject:

“This year my parents will celebrate 64 years of marriage,” reflected Hoover. “I remember my mom always saying, ‘The greatest thing I can do for you boys is to love your dad.’ She was right. My parents maintained a healthy and connected marriage. This created such a foundation for me and my family. My mom and dad loved me, but they had no problem letting me know that the world didn’t revolve around me.”

It feels like we live in a time that magnifies the child, often placing them above the spousal relationship. It sounds selfless, but in the end, it can be harmful to the long-term well-being of the child.

“It’s important to remember, kids should come second!” said Hoover. “We’re all looking for validation and love, and when our kids are small, they offer us validation. They make us feel important. They’re so cute and cuddly… and selfish! Kids should be taught that they don’t run the home—Mom and Dad do. Our children will be happier, healthier, and better adults if they are raised with an understanding that the world doesn’t revolve around them. If the health of your marriage suffers, the children will also suffer.”