NorthStar Church Blog

Digging Deeper – How Old is Gabriel, Anyways?

Ryan Hoffer on December 3, 2025

²⁶In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, ²⁷to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin’s name was Mary.

Luke 1:26-27 (ESV)

HOW OLD IS GABRIEL, ANYWAYS?

In Luke 1:26–27 Gabriel visits Mary to announce the coming of Jesus, the famous Annunciation of the Virgin Mary. The text tells us, “In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth.” It is a great privilege when we are given windows that allow us to peer into the names and roles of the dispatching agents of God. The author of Hebrews tells us that angels are “ministering spirits sent out to serve for the sake of those who are to inherit salvation” (Heb. 1:14). The word angel comes from the Greek angelos and means “messenger.” Here we find Gabriel, one of two messengers or angels named in Scripture (the other being Michael). His name is of Hebrew origin and can be rendered “God is my strength” or “Hero of God.”

There are only four instances in which we see Gabriel in Scripture. They are:

Daniel 8:16 – He interprets the ram and goat vision to Daniel.
Daniel 9:21 – He gives Daniel “insight and understanding” concerning the prophecy of the seventy weeks.
Luke 1:19 – He announces John’s birth to Zechariah.
Luke 1:26 – He announces Jesus’ birth to Mary.

I find it fascinating that Gabriel appears in these two moments separated by more than 500 years. It begs the question: How old is Gabriel, anyway? But seriously, his reappearance in Luke only underscores the unity of Scripture and the timetable of God’s plan of salvation. Additionally, the long interval between the scenes in Daniel and Luke demonstrates that divine silence is not divine inactivity. Quite the opposite, Paul tells us, “When the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law” (Gal. 4:4).

The fact that we meet Gabriel again along the way, attending to humanity at pivotal moments in salvation history, underscores the unfolding of the plan first announced in Genesis: “I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel” (Gen. 3:15).

Ryan Hoffer serves as NextGen Production Director at NorthStar. He holds an M.Div in Church History and enjoys playing the harp. He and his wife, Tiffany, live in Acworth and have three children.

Digging Deeper – Greatly Troubled

Ryan Hoffer on December 2, 2025

But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be.

Luke 1:29 (ESV)

GREATLY TROUBLED

Upon receiving a visitation from the angel Gabriel, Mary is described as “greatly troubled,” an odd designation for one who is “favored” by God. This, however, is a common biblical theme for those who receive divine messages from angels (not to mention a natural reaction to witnessing the supernatural!). For example, earlier in the same chapter Zechariah is “startled and gripped with fear” during his encounter with the Lord’s angelic herald. Gabriel’s subsequent reassurance (“Do not be afraid, you have found favor with God,” v. 30) and Mary’s quick acceptance reveal that her initial fear was met with responsiveness to God’s plan.

There is another person, however, who was also “troubled” upon hearing the news of Jesus: King Herod. In Matthew 2:1–3 we read:

Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men from the east came to Jerusalem, saying, “Where is he who has been born king of the Jews? For we saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him.” When Herod the king heard this, he was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him.

Like Mary, Herod was “troubled” at the news; in fact, the same Greek root is used, but for completely different reasons. Upon hearing the prophecy, the paranoid monarch devises a plan to eliminate the Christ child that includes manipulation, violence, and tyranny, for even the populace was disturbed at his disturbance.

These two responses, that of Mary and that of Herod — that of submission and that of control, of compliance and rebellion — highlight people’s different reactions to the Gospel. Today, invite personal reflection on these responses to Jesus’ authority. Do you respond with fear or faith, control or submission? In what ways can we, like Mary, humbly resign our will to that of God and say, “Let it be to me according to your word” (Luke 1:38)?

Ryan Hoffer serves as NextGen Production Director at NorthStar. He holds an M.Div in Church History and enjoys playing the harp. He and his wife, Tiffany, live in Acworth and have three children.

Digging Deeper – Rejoice

Ryan Hoffer on December 1, 2025

26 In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, 27 to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin’s name was Mary. 28 And he came to her and said, “Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!” 29 But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be. 30 And the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. 31 And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. 32 He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, 33 and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.” 34 And Mary said to the angel, “How will this be, since I am a virgin?” 35 And the angel answered her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy–the Son of God. 36 And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren.

37 For nothing will be impossible with God.” 38 And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her. 39 In those days Mary arose and went with haste into the hill country, to a town in Judah, 40 and she entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth. 41 And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leaped in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit, 42 and she exclaimed with a loud cry, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! 43 And why is this granted to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me? 44 For behold, when the sound of your greeting came to my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. 45 And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.”

Luke 1:26-45 (ESV)

REJOICE!

One of my favorite Bible verses (in fact, the first tattoo I ever got) is 1 Thessalonians 5:16: “Rejoice evermore.” It also happens to be one of the shortest verses in the Bible and is even shorter in the original language than John 11:35 (the famous “Jesus wept”). Yet so much is packed into this one simple word: rejoice.

The verb χαίρω (chairo) is where we get English words like charity and charisma. It is used 74 times in the New Testament and denotes a state of gladness, whether it is used in its imperative form, as in 1 Thessalonians 5:16, or as a greeting. And this is my point: the word rendered “greetings” in English (or “hail” in more archaic translations) is actually chairo — rejoice. Some English translations such as the NKJV and Holman Christian Standard translate it this way:

“And the angel came to her and said, ‘Rejoice, favored woman! The Lord is with you.’”

When taken in this sense, the word is much deeper than a simple salutation; it is consistent with one of the major themes of the Gospel message. After all, when the wise men saw the star leading them to Jesus, they “rejoiced exceedingly with great joy” (Matt. 2:10). This is also the same expression that Jesus uses when he meets the women at the grave upon his resurrection: “And behold, Jesus met them and said, ‘Greetings!’” (ESV), or as it is rendered in the NASB, “Rejoice!” Thus, the Gospel message begins with joy at the Annunciation and ends in joy at the Resurrection.

Go back and reread Luke 1:28. What appears to be a basic greeting becomes, under inspiration, a proclamation. Take a moment today to reflect on the joy we have in the Gospel and hear what the apostle Paul says when he writes, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice” (ESV).

Ryan Hoffer serves as NextGen Production Director at NorthStar. He holds an M.Div in Church History and enjoys playing the harp. He and his wife, Tiffany, live in Acworth and have three children.

Digging Deeper – Never Stop Praying

Chris Boggess on November 28, 2025

One day Jesus told his disciples a story to show that they should always pray and never give up. ²“There was a judge in a certain city,” he said, “who neither feared God nor cared about people. ³A widow of that city came to him repeatedly, saying, ‘Give me justice in this dispute with my enemy.’ ⁴The judge ignored her for a while, but finally he said to himself, ‘I don’t fear God or care about people, ⁵but this woman is driving me crazy. I’m going to see that she gets justice, because she is wearing me out with her constant requests!'”

⁶Then the Lord said, “Learn a lesson from this unjust judge. ⁷Even he rendered a just decision in the end. So don’t you think God will surely give justice to his chosen people who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? ⁸I tell you, he will grant justice to them quickly! But when the Son of Man returns, how many will he find on the earth who have faith?”

Luke 18:1-8 (NLT)

Always be joyful. ¹⁷Never stop praying. ¹⁸Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NLT)

NEVER STOP PRAYING

We have plenty to pray for! When the Bible says, “Pray continually,” we might initially push back against the idea. “How can I pray all the time?” you may ask. I would answer, “Look around you.” There are unlimited prayer needs.

We live in a world full of injustice, sin, cruelty, and idolatry, maybe more so than ever before. I think there is so much of it that we face every day that we become overwhelmed. We get numb. We shut down and focus on our own little sphere, and we pray for the ones we know and see every day. We pray for ourselves and our tribe.

But isolated in our bubble is not who God calls his people to be. He names us a “kingdom of priests.” We are priests to the world, meaning we are an example of how God wants people to live on earth, but we are also representatives of the people to God. We have a whole world to pray for.

But even if you are praying only for your little spot on the globe, there is no end of things to pray for. We are powerless little things in a big world. When we pray in a way that reflects that, we tap into God’s power. Like C. S. Lewis said, “I pray because I can’t help myself. I pray because I’m helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time, waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God. It changes me.”

Pray in a way that changes you. Pray in a way that changes your family. Pray and intercede for a world that is sorely in need of a savior. You will never run out of things to pray for. But we have to cultivate that constant readiness to pray. Like an Old West gunfighter with his Colt on his hip, be ready to draw on prayer at a moment’s notice. Keep your eyes open and your heart seeking what God wants.

I know people who set alarms on their phones to remind them to stop and pray. I know others who write prayers on their bathroom mirrors to start their mornings or tape them to their dashboard so they remember to pray in traffic. For most of us, taking time away from the radio and the drivers around us and taking time to pray instead might be the best idea.

Take time now to pray for your prayer life. Ask God to bring prayer to mind as you go through your day. Ask God to make your heart more prayer-focused and less complaint-focused as you turn over to him the things beyond your control, acknowledging his power in this world.

Chris Boggess is the Next Generation/Family Pastor at NorthStar Church. He grew up in St. Albans, West Virginia, and still cheers for the Mountaineers. He and his wife, Heather, have two grown children and one granddaughter.

Digging Deeper – Remember Who You Were

Chris Boggess on November 27, 2025

“True justice must be given to foreigners living among you and to orphans, and you must never accept a widow’s garment as security for her debt. ¹⁸Always remember that you were slaves in Egypt and that the Lord your God redeemed you from your slavery. That is why I have given you this command.

Deuteronomy 24:17-18 (NLT)

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. ⁸But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:6-8 (NLT)

REMEMBER WHO YOU WERE

I remember hearing someone say, “Goldfish only have a 3-second memory.” The statement encourages the hearer to move on past failures and forget about them. But the big problem is that the statement is not true. Thousands of studies show that goldfish actually have excellent memories. They can learn tasks and repeat them weeks and months later, something that I often find difficult. I try to remember what I changed my password to last week, but a goldfish would probably remember.

God wants his people to remember things. When he brings his people out of Egypt and begins to give them the commandments to live by, he keeps sprinkling throughout the commands the reminder that they were once in bondage, that they were enslaved, that they were foreigners. God even institutes a celebration to commemorate the release from Egypt (Passover, Leviticus 23). But God doesn’t tell them to remember only the release from bondage; he wants them to remember that he sustained them even in difficult circumstances.

Remembering is a part of thanksgiving. God wants us to remember not just the blessings but the hardships. The times when we question if God is even there. When I look back on those times with hindsight, I can see God at work. But if you are in that kind of place right now, I pray that God will begin to show you, in your memories, how he has brought you through other hardships, to remind you that he is with you in this one.

On the same note, if we don’t take time to remember who we are and what God has done, we can fall back into bad habits and ungratefulness. George Santayana warned, “Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.” When we look back with thanksgiving on what God has brought us through, we are more likely to lean on him in the present. We are more likely to trust him with our future.

Remembering the hardships we endured cultivates empathy and mercy for others. Looking back on those bad things gives us insight into who we are. I love the C. S. Lewis quote: “You see, we are like blocks of stone out of which the Sculptor carves the forms of men. The blows of his chisel, which hurt us so much, are what make us perfect.” I don’t like the blows of the chisel when they are happening, but that doesn’t mean I can’t look back and appreciate what they’ve brought to my life.

Take a moment. Take a couple of breaths and think back. Thank God for the undeserved blessings he has bestowed on you. Give thanks to God for the times that he brought you through hardship. Let your past with God change your attitude in the present and your hope for the future.

Disobedience Leads to Detour

Kevin Burrell on November 26, 2025

The Israelites wandered in the wilderness for forty years. For they had disobeyed the Lord.

Joshua 5:6

DISOBEDIENCE LEADS TO DETOUR

Earlier this year while traveling, I inadvertently hit a pothole while driving on the interstate around Atlanta. Within a day or two, I noticed my vehicle begin pulling sharply to the left. Unfortunately, the front end of my vehicle was out of alignment. Ignoring the problem would have only exacerbated the issue and affected the journey to my final destination.

When God led Israel out of Egypt, the Promised Land was not far away. An estimated 11 to 14 day journey took 40 long years.

Why? How? The distance was short, but their heart condition was far from ready. God was not simply taking them to a place; he was shaping them into a people. The wilderness delay was not about miles; it was about mindset. Not about geography; it was about spiritual maturity.

So why did a two week journey take 40 years?

1) Disobedience Toward God

God gave clear instructions for their good; Israel continually chose their own way. Disobedience always leads away from destiny, never toward it. Their unwillingness to obey created a cycle of wandering that God never intended.

Lesson: Obedience is not punishment; it is protection.
Every act of obedience moves us one step closer to God’s best. Every act of disobedience only detours us farther into wilderness seasons.

2) Worshipping False Idols

From the golden calf to adopting pagan practices, Israel often traded the living God for lifeless substitutes. Idolatry isn’t just bowing to statues; it’s putting anything above God.

Lesson: Idols still exist today—often not made of gold but shaped like ambition, relationships, pride, addiction, money, or material possessions. Anything we place our trust in more than God becomes the idol that delays our promise.

3) Lack of Faith in God

Israel heard the promises of God, but fear drowned out their faith. Standing on the edge of Canaan, the spies saw giants instead of God’s greatness. They believed the problem more than the promise. God would not part the waters of the Jordan River until their feet stepped into the water (Joshua 3:13).

Lesson: Faith is not believing God “can,” but believing God “will,” even when circumstances contradict what we see. Unbelief builds walls where God is opening doors. God rarely acts until you first step out in faith. Make the step.

Listen closely: Disobedience carries consequences. A journey that should have taken two weeks took decades because hearts were not aligned with God. Yet God remained faithful, patient, and present—guiding, providing, and shaping his people.

Lean into the following takeaways for your life. Whatever you do, prioritize:

Faith over fear
Obedience over stubbornness
Worshipping God over idols

Your Promised Land is not only a place; it’s the posture of your heart. Therefore, ruthlessly guard your heart. God will bless and honor your obedience. He stands ready to lead you to your Promised Land if you will trust him fully, follow him humbly, and worship him wholeheartedly.

Love God. Love people. Live sent.

Be Worth Being.

Kevin

Kevin Burrell has worked in professional baseball as both a player and MLB scout for the past 44 years, and currently serves as an area scouting supervisor. Kevin was drafted in the 1st round of the 1981 free agent amateur draft (25th selection overall), and played ten years of professional baseball with four different organizations. He and his wife, Valerie, live in Sharpsburg, Ga.

Digging Deeper – God Gives Different Answers

Chris Boggess on November 26, 2025

“For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.”

Psalm 84:11 (NLT)

A man named Lazarus was sick. He lived in Bethany with his sisters, Mary and Martha. ²This is the Mary who later poured the expensive perfume on the Lord’s feet and wiped them with her hair. Her brother, Lazarus, was sick. ³So the two sisters sent a message to Jesus telling him, “Lord, your dear friend is very sick.”

Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died. ²²But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask.”

When Mary arrived and saw Jesus, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

John 11:1-3; 21-22; 32 (NLT)

GOD GIVES DIFFERENT ANSWERS

I don’t know about you, but when I ask for something in prayer, I usually have a pretty good idea of what that answer will look like. My brain has already done the hard work for God and worked out all the details. There is no need for God to do anything but act. What I fail to take into account is that God is not trying to tell the world (and me) the story of “Chris.” God is telling his own story by how he works in the world and in our lives.

Take the story of Lazarus’s resurrection. Mary and her sister Martha knew exactly how God should work in their brother’s sickness. They had seen the formula time and again in Jesus’s ministry: Jesus shows up, and the sick are healed. The problem for them is that Jesus is telling a bigger story.

I love that when we read the two sisters’ greeting to Jesus, they use the same phrase: “If you had been here, my brother would not have died.” I think they had said this to each other repeatedly in the days after Lazarus’s death. It seems like a practiced statement. Mary, the emotionally passionate of the two sisters, throws herself at Jesus’s feet in despair and anguish. But Martha, who gets labeled as the less spiritual sister because of the Luke 10:38–42 account (take a second and flip over to it if you don’t know what I am talking about), seems to imply in her greeting that she knows Jesus has something in mind: “I know that God will give you whatever you ask.” And Jesus tells her what he is about to do, though she doesn’t quite understand the scope of his word in the moment.

When we pray, we must do so with the understanding that the story being told in our lives is God’s, not ours. When we get a different answer than we expected, when we wait and wait for God to move, or when we get a firm no from God, we have to trust that God is doing something to further his own story, and we can trust that the story is good.

Take a moment now and pray. Ask God to use you to tell his story. Ask him to do the things in your life that will bring him glory, because that is a prayer we can trust he will always answer with a “yes.”

Digging Deeper – Fruit in Season

Chris Boggess on November 25, 2025

“But now, since you didn’t believe what I said, you will be silent and unable to speak until the child is born. For my words will certainly be fulfilled at the proper time.”

Luke 1:20 (NLT)

Oh, the joys of those who do not
    follow the advice of the wicked,
    or stand around with sinners,
    or join in with mockers.
They are like trees planted along the riverbank,
    bearing fruit each season.
Their leaves never wither,
    and they prosper in all they do.

Psalm 1:1-3 (NLT)

FRUIT IN SEASON

There is a tree that grows in the desert in Israel that is known as the acacia. These are trees with deep roots that grow near desert waterways known as wadis. Most of the time, acacia trees look dead. Anyone passing by would see a lifeless tree, a gnarled stick coming up from the rocks and sand of the desert floor. They can stand seemingly dormant for many years. Then the rains come to the highlands, and water rushes suddenly down the wadi where the tree grows. And it comes to life! Leaves sprout, and the tree that seemed lifeless becomes the picture of health and vigor.

When we read Psalm 1, we might read “bearing fruit each season” as representing a specific cycle of renewal and flourishing. We think of Georgia seasons, with predictable cycles. But for the acacia tree, the season is when the water comes, and that is when God sends the rain. Some acacia trees spend years waiting for the water to flow, and the seeds can wait for centuries.

God’s answers to our prayers will happen “at the proper time.” We like things to happen in our time. If Google gave us answers “at the proper time,” no one would use it. God is not Google. Sometimes we have to wait.

While the tree waits, it sends its roots deeper, because when the water comes, it is often a full-on flood, washing everything in its path away. The deep roots sustain it in the dry times, seeking the water deep beneath the surface. And they anchor it when the rain comes rushing so it can hold its ground.

So while you wait for God’s timing, live out verse 2 of the psalm: “But they delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on it day and night.” Sink your roots deep in God’s word. Those roots will sustain you while you wait for answers from God. And those roots that you sink deep into Scripture will anchor you when God answers.

Take some time today to open up and meditate on God’s word. Sink your roots deep while you wait for God’s season.

Digging Deeper – Taking No for an Answer

Chris Boggess on November 24, 2025

“What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.”

James 4:1-4 (NLT)

“And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for.”

1 John 5:14-15 (NLT)

TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER

The first recorded use of the phrase “Don’t take no for an answer” was in the book My Early Life by Winston Churchill, published in 1930. But the sentiment behind the phrase is as old as humanity. The Bible barely gets three chapters in before we find Adam and Eve deciding that they won’t take no for an answer. And this is where the problem lies. Sometimes “no” is the best answer.

There is a strange book by Flann O’Brien called The Third Policeman. Brian O’Nolan actually wrote the book, but that isn’t important here. The book is odd, but it does have a few interesting conversations. One of them is with a character who has decided that “No is a better word than yes.” The man had looked at his life, weighed his sins, and realized that his “yesses” had led to them. He decided that if he wanted to avoid sin, he must always answer “no.” Since he couldn’t know the outcome of saying yes, he avoided the consequences by always saying no.

I would agree with him that many of my past sins were the result of a “yes” that should have been a “no.” However, some of the greatest joys in my life have come from “yesses.” I said “yes” on my wedding day, and that continues to pay off in my favor. I said “yes” to the offer of salvation and will have eternity to appreciate the outcome of that “yes.” The problem is not the answer I give but my finite wisdom that informs it.

God, however, sees all the proper outcomes, so we can trust that he not only knows what the result of his “yes” or “no” will be, but also sees the heart that is asking and our motives. With those two things in mind, we can trust our loving Father to give us the right answer, as we see him do over and over again in Scripture. Then we can trust and take “no” for an answer.

Take a few moments today, pray, and ask God to give you the peace to take no for an answer from him. Ask him to show you clearly the places where your heart needs to change. Ask him to renew your trust that he is doing the right thing, and ask him to guide you to the right thing too.

Digging Deeper: A Family of Peace

Sellers Hickman on November 21, 2025

¹²Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, ¹³bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. ¹⁴And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. ¹⁵And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

Colossians 3:12-15 (ESV)

A FAMILY OF PEACE

Every family wants to experience peace, but not every family understands where peace actually begins. We usually think peace comes from having fewer problems, better communication, or more time together. Each of these things is helpful, but Scripture gives us a different starting point. Peace is not something we manufacture; it is a reality we receive from Christ and then learn to practice with one another.

Colossians 3:12-15 is a passage that is often applied to churches, but it is just as essential for families. Why? Because the family is the first community God places us in. It is the first classroom where we learn forgiveness, practice patience, and form our instincts. If Colossians 3 describes the life of God’s people, then the home is where those verses take root most personally and most deeply.

The family is where we first learn our identity in Christ. Paul begins by saying, “God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved.” Ultimately, before he tells us what to do, he tells us who we are. This is the same for families. As a College Pastor, I spend countless hours listening to students wrestle with identity: feelings of insecurity, fear of failure, uncertainty about their worth. As I dig into those struggles, many of them trace back to childhood wounds, misunderstandings, or the atmosphere they grew up in. But identity issues are not limited to parent-child relationships. A home cannot be a place of peace if husbands and wives forget who they are in Christ. For all of these relationships to thrive, we must remember: “I am chosen. I am loved. I am set apart by God.”

Paul then moves to how we should clothe ourselves with the attributes of God. Clothing is intentional. You choose it every day. Think of a toddler picking out their outfit… sometimes it matches, sometimes it does not. But there is still intention behind every decision. In the same way, we must intentionally put on these attributes of Christ each day. But how do these virtues play out in the home?

Compassion: See each other’s weariness instead of just their mistakes.
Kindness: Speak with warmth, not sharpness.
Humility: Listen rather than insist on being right.
Gentleness: Correct without crushing someone’s spirit.
Patience: Give one another space for growth without pressure.

If these virtues are not practiced in the family, where will they be practiced? If they are not displayed in the home, where will they be displayed? The family is God’s training ground for Christlike character.

Paul adds that we should bear with each other and forgive as the Lord has forgiven us. This can be hard to put into practice in any relationship, but we are naturally in the best environment to do this with family. If we refuse to bear with someone or forgive them, the world would tell us to cut them off and leave them. That may be easy to do with friends, coworkers, or acquaintances, but it is much harder to cut off family. So what can we learn from this? That we will be in it with these people for the long haul. That means we must have long-game vision to see that not everything has to be fixed in a day. We should choose to forgive and bear with those God has placed in our family.

Finally, Paul talks about love binding us together. It is that old adage: “You do not have to like each other, but you are going to love each other.” This deep, self-giving love is what keeps relationships alive. We should be people marked by love and filled with peace. Such peace should rule our hearts and our lives so that we become people of peace within our own families.

This holiday season, how can you increase the peace within your own household? This is not the time to point the finger at somebody else: “Well, if my kid would just… If my spouse would just… If my family would just…” No. How can you increase peace this holiday season? I encourage you during the week of Thanksgiving (and Christmas) to wake up each day and read Colossians 3:12-15 again. Pray that God will fill you with these virtues and that it will be evident that you are choosing peace.

Sellers Hickman serves as College & Teaching Pastor at NorthStar Church and loves cheering on his Ole Miss Rebels. He and his wife, Hannah, live in Dallas, Ga. with their two daughters. He also serves as the chaplain for the KSU Men’s Basketball team.