Author: Courtney Miller

When we are in the thick of suffering or trials, it can be so hard to feel God’s presence. Our pain and suffering can easily overtake us if we allow it, following us through every moment, tapping on our shoulder. It’s in these moments—at our breaking points—that we must make a choice. Do we succumb to our emotions and circumstances, or do we lean into the only One who can sustain us?

For me, in these challenging seasons I’ve walked through, choosing to lean into God is truly just that—a choice. Sometimes I find myself lacking the genuine desire to seek Him. It can feel like too much work, and selfishly, I’d sometimes rather wallow in self-pity and despair. It just feels easier. But we serve a God who is for us. The very purpose of His Spirit is to guide us through life—our Helper.

In these heavy seasons, seeking Him may initially feel like a checklist: just do what you need to get it done. But I promise, anyone who has ever chosen to truly seek Christ finds Him, just as it says in 1 Chronicles 28:9. In every trial I have faced, God has made Himself known. It may not happen immediately, but He reveals Himself through the dedication of spending time with Him each day. Looking back, these are some of the most spiritually rich seasons of my life. When everything else seems stripped away, only Christ remains. He will strengthen you for the journey, and you will find joy amidst your trial.

In February 2018, I had a miscarriage at ten weeks. It was devastating, and the circumstances surrounding it made the experience even harder. About a month later, I went to a monastery for a silent retreat. When we truly tune in to what God is saying in the silence, when we quiet the noise even for a few moments, He will make His presence known and speak to our hearts in just the way we need. He longs to spend time with us, revealing Himself in many ways—through visions, thoughts, and situations. Often, He speaks to me through situations and experiences.

One night during the silent retreat, I made myself a cup of jasmine tea and sat reflecting on God and how He was beginning to heal my hurting heart. As I drank my tea, He began to speak to my heart, and I journaled the thoughts He was giving me:

“Steep yourself in Me. Smell My sweet aroma. Breathe it in. Feel My presence. I am with you. Picture My field of flowers. Spring is coming. Beauty lies ahead. Walk with Me into the meadow. The sweet smell of jasmine is all around you. Let it bring joy to your heart. Let the dark, cold winter be over by just breathing Me in, for I am with you. I have always been here. Let Me fill you with My warmth. I will thaw out your cold, dry bones.”

I love that we can find God in every moment—like drinking a cup of tea—when we are truly listening. What a wonderful reminder that, whatever season of life we are walking through, He is there to meet us if only we listen. He gently reminded me, “Find Me in the nuances of your day. I am in all things. I will reveal Myself to you in all things. Simply tune in to Me.”

Our peace is found in God alone, even through trials and suffering. We simply must seek Him.

To tie a bow on my search for peace, one year later, in February 2019, our daughter was born. The Lord very clearly revealed her name to me in a prayer of thankfulness: she would be named Everly. Since names hold great significance to me, I looked up its origins. Everly means “from the boar meadow.” Little did I know, when He spoke those words to me during the retreat, that in bringing peace to my suffering, God was also giving me the promise of new life through my precious daughter, Everly.

1 Peter 4:13 tells us, “Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world.” Through suffering, His glory has been revealed in the wonderful joy of my daughter Everly’s precious life.

Suffering is hard. No one desires it, and when we are in it, we are desperate for it to end. God cares about our suffering, so why does it sometimes seem to last forever?

While we know that God loves and cares for us, this does not always mean He intervenes immediately at our request. We are not spared the troubles of life simply because we are His children. In fact, Jesus told us that those who follow Him will suffer. Yet, Jesus also told us to take heart, for He has overcome the world (John 16:33). Only God determines the timing of His intervention. We have to trust in His timing, which is always perfect. His intervention may come in this life—after weeks, months, or even years. Or, His rescue from our suffering may not come until we meet Him face to face.

In his book Abide in Christ: The Joy of Being in God’s Presence, Andrew Murray writes, “The Christian wants to conquer his weakness and to be freed from it; God wants us to rest and even rejoice in it. The Christian mourns over his weakness; Christ teaches His servant to say, ‘I take pleasure in infirmities; most gladly will I glory in my infirmities.’ The Christian thinks his weakness his greatest hindrance in the life and service of God; God tells us that it is the secret of strength and success. It is our weakness, heartily accepted and continually realized, that gives us our claim and access to the strength of Him who has said, ‘My strength is made perfect in weakness.’”

So, whether our suffering ends quickly or lasts until we meet Him face to face, we know that in our weakness and suffering, God is glorified.

How do we begin to find joy in our suffering? I believe it can start very simply. Each day, find something to thank God for. You may not feel thankful; you may even feel like a hypocrite, but thank Him anyway. We have to start somewhere. One of the keys to experiencing joy is cultivating a habit of thankfulness. And we must remember that every breath we take on this earth is a gift to be grateful for, given to us because our purpose here is not yet complete.

Another step in finding joy is releasing control. We can never have full control over our circumstances. God is the author of our paths, and we must learn to let go of the desire to direct our own destiny. We need to trust that He works all things together for His good, as it says in Romans 8:28. When we release control, we begin to find rest. Joy is not found in turmoil and stress; it is found in rest and release. God urges us to come to Him for rest, and He will not fail us.

Reflection: Take time today to note everything you have to be thankful for. Ask God to help you release control over your circumstances and to find rest in His presence.

“Why me?” This is likely the first question many of us ask when we face hardships. On this side of Heaven, we may never fully understand the answer. Yet, we are called to trust and hold on to our faith. Scripture reveals that suffering can shape and mold us into more devoted followers of Christ.

God does not cause suffering, but He allows it. The Fall of man introduced suffering into the world. Though painful, suffering matures us and refines our character, making us more effective servants for Christ. As Romans 5:3-5 says, “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”

Through suffering, our patience grows, our empathy deepens, and our courage to support others in their trials is strengthened. All of these qualities develop as we endure physical, emotional, and spiritual struggles. In the process, we gain new perspectives, and often, we discover a profound love for Christ amid our suffering. God is refining you through your trials.

Jesus tells the disciples that the Good News will be spread to the whole world. Later, after His crucifixion and resurrection, He tells them again in Matthew 28:19, in the Great Commission, “Go and make disciples of all nations…” This was His very first message to them after His resurrection, holding great significance for what we are called to do as believers.

So how do we become disciple-makers? At the heart of a disciple is a desire to be more like Christ. To be more like Christ, we must grow in our knowledge of Him and spend time in His Word, digging deeper. Small groups are an incredible place to do this. At NorthStar, you can find groups for almost anything—Grief Share, men’s and women’s book studies or Scripture studies, couples’ groups, and more. Whatever small group you join, you will be growing in your knowledge and understanding of our faith, becoming a disciple, and molding yourself to be more like Christ. Small groups prepare us to go out into the world and live sent—making Christ’s name known to all.