Author: Chris Boggess

Today, as we approach the act of forgiveness, I see this more as a reminder than a new idea. We all know, logically, that holding on to past grievances doesn’t impact the person who committed them nearly as much as it affects our own lives. Refusing to forgive keeps us stuck in the moment of the hurt, while the other person is probably not even thinking about it.

For that very reason, I think Matthew 5:23–24 is so thought-provoking. It is easy for us to forget the things we’ve done to others, but in this passage Jesus tells us to be mindful of what others might have against us. That is not at all how we usually think. Thinking this way requires intentional self-evaluation. As we looked at earlier in the week, we tend to judge ourselves by our intentions. So when we realize that someone has something against us, it’s easy to excuse our actions by saying what we did “wasn’t that bad” and that the person holding it against us is the one in the wrong. But these verses don’t take right and wrong into account at all. Jesus is only talking about the fractured relationship—and He says it’s on us to try to fix it before we point our hearts heavenward. He is pointing us back to the “Love God, Love People” command. He is reminding us of the connection between our relationships with others and our relationship with God.

Then Matthew 6 reinforces that same connection. If we want to have a right and forgiving relationship with God, we must cultivate that same kind of relationship with the people around us.

We all know we need God’s forgiveness, but sometimes we also feel like we need to forgive God. Not because He has wronged us—He hasn’t—but because in our pain, disappointment, or waiting, it can feel that way. I know I’ve had times when I consciously or unconsciously felt God wasn’t treating me fairly. I was waiting for an answer or struggling through a painful season, and I didn’t like it. Forgiveness, even in this sense, is a choice: to let go of that ill feeling (whether justified or not) and move forward in trust.

Take a moment and evaluate your own life. Are there people you need to forgive? Are there people you need to ask for forgiveness? Are there areas of your life where you need God’s forgiveness? Are there places where you are holding a grudge against Him? Ask God to reveal those things to you, and take time today to make them right.

When I was a kid, a movie came out called Megaforce. I wouldn’t recommend it—unless you’re in the mood for a cheesy action flick. Before its release in the summer of 1982, I remember seeing ads for Megaforce on the back covers of many comics (I was an avid comic reader). The ad showed a tall, muscular guy with his arm around a girl in a red dress. All around him were cool, futuristic military vehicles with guns blazing. It looked amazing to my teenage self! Written across the top of the ad in simulated neon letters was the phrase: “DEEDS NOT WORDS.”

The movie turned out to be disappointing, but that phrase really stuck in my head. I thought it was cool.

If we want to build a relationship with anyone, what we do is more important than what we say. It’s usually only in dysfunctional relationships that words are given priority over actions. If someone claims to be your friend but constantly makes excuses not to spend time with you, and never does anything you ask, you’d be foolish to keep calling them your friend.

Our relationship with God works the same way. If we attend church, recite all the right words, sing every worship song in the correct key, and take notes on the app during the message—but then live like the devil for the rest of the week—our actions and words are not aligned. No matter how well we talk about God, it’s our actions that give us away.

Eugene Peterson put it this way: “Each act of obedience by the Christian is a modest proof, unequivocal for all its imperfection, of the reality of what he attests.” Or, in the words of the old children’s song: “Obedience is the very best way to show what you believe.”

What do your DEEDS say about your relationship with God? Do you spend time with Him? Do you make obedience to Him a priority? Take a moment to pray and ask God to show you where you’re falling short—and then take action to address it.

We talked yesterday about Abraham’s relationship with God and his communication with Him. Today, we’ll look at a different aspect of that relationship. The keyword is relationship. Abraham didn’t view God as just a force in his life, nor did he see God as a vending machine into which he deposited worship and then received whatever he desired. God was a living personality with whom Abraham interacted on a daily basis.

Eugene Peterson, in his book A Long Obedience in the Same Direction, summed up the way many people think about faith today:

“Too often we think of religion as a far-off, mysteriously run bureaucracy to which we apply for assistance when we feel the need. We go to a local branch office and direct the clerk (sometimes called a pastor) to fill out our order for God. Then we go home and wait for God to be delivered to us according to the specifications that we have set down. But that is not the way it works. And if we thought about it for two consecutive minutes, we would not want it to work that way.”

We want God on our terms and our timeline. When He doesn’t present Himself that way or fails to meet our deadlines, we question what He’s up to. In relationships, that kind of behavior—though common—is not healthy. We often judge others’ actions (including God’s) and assign motives to those actions. The irony is that we don’t judge ourselves that way. We look at our own motives and use them to justify our actions, however wrong they may be. We say things like, “I didn’t mean to,” as if good intentions erase the impact our actions have on others.

Throughout the Bible, we see people questioning God. When Job questioned God’s motive behind his suffering, God responded, “Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?” (Job 38:2)—essentially saying, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” In Isaiah, God says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.” (Isaiah 55:8), reminding us that His motives are often beyond our understanding.

With Abraham, we see someone willing to trust that God is doing the right thing even when he doesn’t understand it. He trusts when God tells him to move. He trusts when God promises him a son. He even trusts when God asks him to place that son on an altar. Abraham trusted God on God’s terms. When things didn’t make sense, he looked back at years of God’s faithfulness. That kind of faith doesn’t arrive overnight like a Prime delivery—it takes time and work, just like any lasting relationship.

Healthy relationships are not built in a moment but over time. Abraham saw that his obedience continually led him back to God’s faithfulness. Take a moment to examine your own life. Is the same true for you? Can you see times when your obedience to God has been met with His faithfulness? Is there an area where you’re questioning whether God has your best interests in mind? Go to Him and tell Him.

At the beginning of the Bible, in the book of Genesis, we see story after story of people going against God, and God correcting their behavior. From Adam and Eve to the flood to the Tower of Babel, no one seems able to maintain a relationship with God. Then we meet Abraham.

Abraham was a rich man with herds and servants. He was doing well for himself. Then God called him to pick up stakes and move hundreds of miles away. God made promises to Abraham, and Abraham made the astonishing choice to move just as God asked him. That is big faith.

Every relationship we have begins with an act of faith. From the playground to the boardroom to the wedding altar, every relationship requires faith in the other person. For that faith to continue, there must be communication and action.

Abraham’s relationship with God began when God communicated with him. However, as the story unfolds, Abraham also communicates with God. He tells God his longing for a child. Didn’t God already know that Abraham wanted that? Hadn’t God already promised him offspring? Yet God doesn’t get angry; He encourages Abraham.

God wants us to share our concerns, desires, and even our sins with Him. We know He already knows those things—He knows us better than we know ourselves—but He wants us to share them anyway. It demonstrates our faith in Him. In Letters to Malcolm: Chiefly on Prayer, C. S. Lewis puts it this way: “Even an intimate human friend is ill-used if we talk to him about one thing while our mind is on another.”

Communicating honestly with God and going to Him first when we need Him honors our relationship with Him. The ones we are closest to should always be the ones we want to share our joys and sorrows with first. When we draw near to Him, He draws near to us.

Take a minute now and examine yourself. Are there things you need to talk to God about? Are there fears, desires, or secret sins you need to bring before Him? Not because He is unaware, but because you have a relationship with Him. Be honest with Him.

A long time ago, I received some good advice. I’ve heard this sentiment repeated often, but I’m pretty sure the first person to share it with me was Mr. Bassitt, my leadership class teacher at St. Albans High School. (I know—another SAHS story—but I learned a lot about life in high school.) He said you should pay attention to the way people treat those who are serving them. The way you treat the waitstaff at a restaurant or the cashier at the store shows how you really feel about people. That’s why, he said, taking someone out to eat is a great first date: not only do you get to sit and talk with someone for an extended period, but you also get to see how they interact with the servers.

Through the years, I’ve seen this play out over and over. Perhaps it’s just my perception, but when I see someone treat a server poorly, I assume they don’t like people very much. However, I think it goes deeper than that. It reveals the default feelings people have about others. One behavior reveals another.

Jesus and John both point to this same idea in the scripture above: one action or attitude reveals another. The way we love people relates directly to the way we love God. This seems very important, because one is evident to those around us while the other is easier to hide—even from ourselves.

I think we can fool ourselves about how we really feel. I remember going to lunch with a guy who wanted to intern with me for the summer. As we were eating, he told me he was a “people person” and listed all the clubs and groups he was part of at college. But the only time he spoke to our waitress was to order his food and ask for a drink refill. When it came time to pay, he said I shouldn’t leave a full tip because the waitress was “scowly.” Apparently, in his book, smiling was a requirement for a tip.

As we headed back to the church, I told him what I had observed. He seemed surprised. At first, he was defensive and thought I was being unfair: “I told you I really am a people person!” To his credit, as he started to verbalize his thoughts, he realized he wasn’t treating people the way he should—unless they had something to offer him. At the same time, he expected others to treat him well. He ended up not interning for me, but years later he contacted me to thank me for that lesson.

Like a thermometer when you’re sick, how you treat people around you is a good way to diagnose whether your relationship with God is healthy. Take a minute to check your spiritual temperature. How are you showing love to those around you—both the familiar and the unfamiliar? Take a moment to pray and ask God to show you where you’re missing the mark in your relationships, and ask Him to strengthen your relationship with Him.

And as always, don’t forget to tip your waitress.

Have you ever been around someone regularly and never really known who they were? I mean, you would think that if you saw someone daily, you’d get a good understanding of who they are. But the truth is more complex than that. We see people through our own eyes, and how we see them is often more about who we are than who they are.

Take Coach Criddle from the Monday illustration. I always thought he was a jerk and, to be honest, not very smart. I saw him as cocky and bumbling at the same time. But as I was writing the Digging Deeper, I got a bit nostalgic and Googled the old coach. He passed away a little over a year ago, and I found his obituary. Let me list a few of the points it made:

• He was a Marine Corps veteran and played football for WVU from 1962 to 1964.

• He coached three different high schools to the state AAA title game and had undefeated seasons at two of those schools.

• He coached future NFL players Robert Alexander, Carl Lee, Derek Christian, and Bimbo Coles.

• He is a member of the West Virginia Coaches Association Hall of Fame.

The quote in the obituary that stood out was, “To say Homer Criddle was a success on the West Virginia high school football scene would be quite an understatement.”

He didn’t impress me when I had him as a teacher, but I never knew him in the place where he excelled.

In the passage we are examining, it strikes me that the disciples are suddenly awestruck by the presence of Jesus. If you’ve been reading the Gospel of Matthew up to this point, you’ve witnessed miracles and teachings that amazed everyone. And yet—they are just now realizing who He truly is? You can be around someone every day and still not fully understand who they are.

What about you? If you’re reading this, you’re likely someone who makes an effort to spend time with Jesus every day. But when was the last time you were just bowled over by who Jesus is? When was the last time you marveled at the life and death He endured on your behalf? When was the last time you truly grasped how incredibly fortunate you are that He loves you—not despite who He is, but despite who you are?

This week, we’ve seen that Jesus is more than enough to conquer your fears. We’ve seen that He has more for you than you could ever imagine. We’ve seen that He upholds and protects us—even when we don’t realize it.

I heard someone say recently that the most important thing about you is who you believe Jesus is—and I believe that to be true.

I love to watch nature shows—especially when young animals are involved. Lion cubs, bear cubs, wolf pups—they’re so cute and mischievous. I love how they get into situations that are over their heads, and then their mom comes along and rescues them. This is a developmental stage in their lives; they play at being grown, even though they’re not yet ready to be on their own.

I feel like this is where Peter is when he sees Jesus walking on the water. Peter wants to be like Jesus and is willing to give it a try—stepping out of the boat—but like a lion cub chasing a badger, he soon realizes that he is literally in over his head.

When this happens to a cub in the wild, the mother steps in and often grabs the cub by the scruff of the neck, carrying it out of trouble. Although it looks rough when they’re held this way, it has a calming effect on the cub, causing it to relax so the mother won’t hurt it while carrying it in her sharp teeth.

I think it’s interesting that Peter doesn’t reach out and grab Jesus; Jesus reaches out and grabs Peter. I like to imagine that He pulls Peter up by his robe, like a mother lion picking up a cub.

Peter knew he was in trouble, but he didn’t know how to get out of it—especially not on his own. As a fisherman, Peter knew the danger of being in the water during a storm, so he did the only thing in his power: he cried out to Jesus, and Jesus stepped in.

As we walk through our lives of faith, we strive to be more like Jesus. However, sometimes that puts us in situations where we find ourselves in over our heads. Maybe we’re sharing the Gospel and don’t know how to answer someone’s questions. Perhaps we’re on a mission trip in a foreign country and can’t communicate—or we find ourselves lost. Or maybe it’s as simple as having a neighbor whom you know you’re supposed to love, but they’re incredibly difficult to love. In some situations, everything seems fine and under control—until suddenly, it’s not.

Whatever the case, call out to Jesus. Let Him grab you by the scruff of the neck. Relax, and trust Him to bring you safely through whatever you’re dealing with.

Take a moment to reflect on the areas in your life where you strive to live up to Jesus’ example but feel like you’re falling short. Call out and ask Him to pull you up in the places where you see that you can’t do it on your own. His power is greater than yours, and He knows more than you.

Jesus is always calling us to more. In his book The Weight of Glory, C.S. Lewis calls humans “half-hearted creatures” who are too easily pleased. We are content with our lives, such as they are. But what if we thought differently? What if we realized that what we want for ourselves is far less than what God wants for us?

The paralytic in the passage above from the Gospel of John is a lot like most of us. Jesus comes upon him and asks if he wants more out of life—change, healing, maybe even a miracle. Jesus asks the man a yes-or-no question. It’s not a middle school note (check one: yes, no, maybe so). There is no “maybe” on the list of answers when Jesus calls him. But the man responds with an excuse for why he can’t get healing.

Jesus wasn’t offering the paralytic man help to do what he was already doing. He was offering the miraculous—something only the Son of God could provide. The man had to change his mindset about what was being offered to him. And he does change, because when Jesus says, “Take up your bed,” the man quickly obeys. If he hadn’t, he would never have experienced the healing Jesus had for him.

Peter, on the other hand, is looking for the miraculous. He sees what Jesus is doing and thinks, “I want to get some of that!” So he asks Jesus if he can join Him on the water, and when Jesus says, “Come,” Peter gets up and moves!

Take a moment to reflect on your current stage in your Christian journey. Are you sitting by, making excuses for why your life is what it is? Then you should know—Jesus is calling you to more. Take a moment to pray today and ask Him to reveal what He has in store for you.

Or maybe you’re looking at something you know God is calling you to. It’s big, miraculous, beyond your ability—and you’re a little nervous about it. Just remember: when Jesus says, “Come,” get out of the boat!

Have you ever been watching a movie, and one of the characters hears a noise in the dark basement? Just minutes before, that same character was being warned about the danger that lurks in the darkness. You, the viewer, know that the threat is now close at hand in the basement. But the character—who should know better—grabs the faulty flashlight from the kitchen drawer and heads down the dark, cobwebby stairs. You know this action is irrational and reckless, but no matter how much you yell at the screen, they just keep going.

Fear makes you stupid.

Your brain has distinct parts that control various functions. The amygdala is the part of the brain that processes fear. It assesses threats and triggers reactions in the body that prepare us—using our sympathetic nervous system—for whatever is coming next. Our heart rate rises, pupils dilate, and adrenaline is released. The amygdala is also the seat of emotions, so the decisions it makes are primarily based on how things feel.

However, while the amygdala is running full throttle when we are afraid, the prefrontal cortex—which is responsible for helping us make rational decisions—is being impaired. Making logical decisions, such as not going into the dark basement where danger lurks, becomes difficult. So, when I say fear makes you stupid, the science backs me up.

Fear made the disciples see a ghost instead of salvation, and fear makes us see the worst possible outcomes in our future. When we face a difficult conversation, a negative life change, or an uncomfortable situation, fear can create a destructive cycle. We are afraid, so we imagine the worst—which leads to more fear—and so on.

The thing I love in this week’s passage is the change that happens when the disciples realize Jesus is in the situation.
“Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid,” Jesus shouts over the waves. And the disciples go from being afraid of ghosts to being pretty bold. When Peter jumps out of the boat into a storm, it is one of the boldest steps of faith in Scripture. However, he then starts to sink when fear takes over again.

Jeffrey Melvin and I were discussing the concept of fear the other day, and he shared a little phrase that we would do well to remember. He said, “You can think yourself out of fear, but you can’t feel yourself out of fear.” So let us take a moment to think about the reasons we have to not be afraid.

I love Psalm 27’s pattern of statement followed by a rhetorical question:

The Lord is my light and my salvation — (STATEMENT)
Whom shall I fear? — (RHETORICAL QUESTION)
The Lord is the stronghold of my life — (STATEMENT)
Of whom shall I be afraid? — (RHETORICAL QUESTION)

We should remember this pattern as we face fearful situations. If we make the Lord our light, then He can reveal our fears for what they truly are—not what we imagine them to be. Light is a powerful antidote to fear. There’s a reason most horror movies take place in the dark.

If we make the Lord our salvation, then we are no longer responsible for saving ourselves. There is so little in life that we truly control. If our salvation depended on us, we would have much to fear—weak and limited as we are. But if the Lord is our salvation, then we are looking to the Almighty Creator of the universe, a much more trustworthy option when it comes to navigating our situation.

Finally, if we make the Lord our stronghold, then we have a place to rest. A stronghold is safe from enemies—whether they are ghosts in the storm, relationship strife, or looming layoffs. God wants you to know that you are safe with Him. There is nothing we have to fear. Even death holds no fear for those who believe in Jesus.

So take a minute today to identify the areas of fear in your life. As you think about them, listen to Jesus calling to you:
“Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.”
Make Jesus your light, salvation, and stronghold in that situation. And if things get worse, call out to Him. Don’t let fear take the place that Jesus wants to occupy in your life.

Do you remember when you learned to drive? I recall my parents’ patience as I struggled to learn how to navigate the manual transmission on our early 1980s Subaru. I also remember driver’s ed class at school. Our teacher was Coach Criddle, the football coach at my school. I got the idea that he didn’t love the classroom part of the course, but we also had a driving period once a week—and that part he took seriously.

One of his mandates was to do a walk-around of the car before we ever drove it. We would inspect the tires, check the wipers, and once inside the car, we would check the mirrors and fuel level. He would say, “We can’t control everything once we get on the road, but we can control how we start.”

What does that look like in our spiritual life? Do we take a moment before we start our day to take stock of our spiritual state? Do we make sure our spiritual tank is topped off and that everything is in its proper place?

The way we “walk around” our spiritual life is through prayer.

When we pray, we take time to acknowledge who God is, examine ourselves, and honestly evaluate our own identity. We also talk to God about what He has done and what we need Him to do in the future. Prayer is one thing we can control before we get into our day. There are so many things in a typical day that we have no control over. Just like driving a car, our day can include unexpected detours, and we will almost certainly have to deal with other people who have their own ideas about how our day is going to unfold. However, if we begin with prayer, we center ourselves on God and prepare for the journey ahead.

Over and over, Jesus took time to separate Himself and pray. He had plenty of things vying for His attention and plenty of people who needed Him—but He made time for prayer. He kept prayer a priority.

I don’t still do a “walk-around” every time I drive my car. It’s a good habit, but over the years, I’ve become complacent about it. I can sometimes be the same way about my prayer life. I get in a hurry and become focused on what I need to accomplish. But I’ve noticed that every day that begins with prayer is better than the ones that do not.

Did you start your day with prayer today? If not, it’s not too late. Take a moment to focus on God and conduct a brief “walk-around” of your spiritual life. It will make your journey better.